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When I was pregnant with my first child, my husband and I discussed at great length the pros and cons of my staying at home and not returning to my legal secretarial job.
It was a job I somewhat enjoyed. Like any job it had its good days and its bad days. My boss at the time practiced family law and one can only stomach so many divorces, so many custody battles and so many paternity suits.
To be honest, part of me wondered what I would do all day with an infant.
Part of me thought I would be bored out of my mind.
With much reluctance, I gave up my office manager position and told my boss that I would not return.
My baby was born less than four days later. I was overwhelmed. Hubby stayed home for the first week and then he got to leave. He got to take an uninterupted shower, get dressed in nice clothes and leave. He didn't have to figure out why she was crying, he didn't have to change diapers or always have lunch alone.
Oldest was born in February so sometimes it was days before we even could leave the house.
It was sooooo lonely. I thought I would loose my mind. When oldest was about four months, I joined a playgroup. Some of those moms became my lifeline. They understood what I was going through. They understood how I felt.
Many of them remain my friends.
I started to enjoy my baby. She was becoming more of a little person, she was showing her unique personality. The years started to fly by. Soon I was chasing a toddler and dragging a infant to library story time.
Flash foward two more years and our son arrived, completing our family.
Oldest was four, middle was two and youngest G was new. Four, two and new. It seems like yesterday.
I was overwhelmed. I was never bored. I was never alone.
I remember trying to grocery shop. Oldest is trying to ride on the end of the cart, middle is fighting her for position. I offer to push around one of the stupid car carts. Youngest G is playing with his own hands in his carrier.
Middle tells me in a loud voice that when she grows up she is going to be a garbage man so she will always be able to hang on the side of the car. Oldest says, "When I grow up I am going to do nothing, just like you, mommy."
At first it felt like she had hit me, but then I realized that nothing would please me more because, lets face it, whether we stay home with our kids or not, having a child changes everthing.
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.