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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

RemembeRed: change

When I was pregnant with my first child, my husband and I discussed at great length the pros and cons of my staying at home and not returning to my legal secretarial job.

It was a job I somewhat enjoyed. Like any job it had its good days and its bad days. My boss at the time practiced family law and one can only stomach so many divorces, so many custody battles and so many paternity suits.

To be honest, part of me wondered what I would do all day with an infant.

Part of me thought I would be bored out of my mind.

With much reluctance, I gave up my office manager position and told my boss that I would not return.

My baby was born less than four days later. I was overwhelmed. Hubby stayed home for the first week and then he got to leave. He got to take an uninterupted shower, get dressed in nice clothes and leave. He didn't have to figure out why she was crying, he didn't have to change diapers or always have lunch alone.

Oldest was born in February so sometimes it was days before we even could leave the house.

It was sooooo lonely. I thought I would loose my mind. When oldest was about four months, I joined a playgroup. Some of those moms became my lifeline. They understood what I was going through. They understood how I felt.

Many of them remain my friends.

I started to enjoy my baby. She was becoming more of a little person, she was showing her unique personality. The years started to fly by. Soon I was chasing a toddler and dragging a infant to library story time.

Flash foward two more years and our son arrived, completing our family.

Oldest was four, middle was two and youngest G was new. Four, two and new. It seems like yesterday.

I was overwhelmed. I was never bored. I was never alone.

I remember trying to grocery shop. Oldest is trying to ride on the end of the cart, middle is fighting her for position. I offer to push around one of the stupid car carts. Youngest G is playing with his own hands in his carrier.

Middle tells me in a loud voice that when she grows up she is going to be a garbage man so she will always be able to hang on the side of the car. Oldest says, "When I grow up I am going to do nothing, just like you, mommy."

At first it felt like she had hit me, but then I realized that nothing would please me more because, lets face it, whether we stay home with our kids or not, having a child changes everthing.

6 random thoughts:

Anonymous said...

This is such a great post. You know how much respect I have for mums. I have said it a hundred times they are angels on earth. I am in awe of you and the relationship you have with your kids, they are very blessed to have you. The garbage truck comment made me snort, out of the mouths of babes, right:)

hugs my dear friend

DeepBlue said...

"When I grow up I am going to do nothing, just like you, mommy."

I can care less about Hollywood superstars, professional athletes and all their kind! My mom and my sister are my only heros!
Jon ♫♪♫

angela said...

I am giggling a little. Once my daughter said, "Mommy why don't you go to work anymore?" (I worked until she was almost two.) I told her she and her brother were my job. She burst out laughing: "Mommy! We're not work!" It sounds like our kids would get along.

My moms club was so helpful to me when I had a two and new :) I'm glad you found such a good support system.

Cheryl said...

I went to a new mom's support group when my first was 7 weeks and it was a lifesaver.

And that line about you doing nothing? Classic! I can't wait for you to remind her about it some day..

Kristie Maynard said...

I LOVE this post! Children do change everything and I was a lucky Mom who got to do "nothing" I always told people I wasn't a stay at home Mom, because I was never at home. My youngest turned 19 this past Monday and I can hardly believe that they have both grown up so fast. Seems like just a couple years ago the doctor said "It's a boy, a BIG boy!" He was 10lb 3oz. now he's about 6'3" and over 200 lbs. Wow, how they grow!

Jenners said...

I remember when I was faced with the same decision: to stay home with the baby or work. Everyone told me I'd go nuts if I stayed home but I figured I was old and only doing this once so I didn't want to miss it. And I think I made the right decision … despite having some very tough days along the way.

Great post!

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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