Thursday, August 25, 2011
An open letter to my 7th grader
Dear Oldest G.
Wake up. It's time for middle school.
I can't believe that for the last two days that is how we have started our morning. When did you become a middle schooler?
Middle school is one of those times in your life where fitting in will feel overwhelmingly important. Where the opinions of your friends will matter more than the opinions of your family.
I am not really sure what advice I can give you. Other than being yourself, there isn't much I can say. In the long run, having the right clothes, having the right shoes, all that nonsense doesn't really matter.
Some things to remember (that will mean nothing to you until you are grown).
Everyone, at times, feels left out. Even those "popular kids", who seem to have it all, sometimes feel alone.
Not everyone is gonna like you. Just like you aren't going to find everyone you meet likeable. At 12, this can feel like the end of the world, but you are gonna have to trust me...it's not.
Have an opinion. It is better to have your own opinion than to just go with the popular one. Whether it is as simple as where you'd like to go to dinner or as complicated as your thoughts on life after death have an opinion.
Keep your moral compass in your pocket. If you wouldn't say it to their face than don't text it, or post it or whisper it. Don't touch things that don't belong to you be that a cell phone or your friend's boyfriend.
Don't believe you're the only one. Don't let your peers try to convince you that you are the only one who doen't have this or you're the only one who has to do that or your the only one who has yet to try it. They are likely lying and even if they aren't who cares.
Middle school is a tough time. People change. Friends change.
You will find that throughout your life that when you need a friend it is best to be a friend.
Sometimes our friends show up on our peewee football cheerleading squads and they never leave.
Other times you find them in the lunchroom over shared conversation. Sometimes they greet you at a bus stop just when you didn't think you could feel more alone.
They live next door to you. They work with you. You find them on the playground.
Just be yourself and treat others the way you'd like to be treated (even if they don't treat you kindly) and you really can't go wrong.
All my love,
Mom
Wake up. It's time for middle school.
I can't believe that for the last two days that is how we have started our morning. When did you become a middle schooler?
Middle school is one of those times in your life where fitting in will feel overwhelmingly important. Where the opinions of your friends will matter more than the opinions of your family.
I am not really sure what advice I can give you. Other than being yourself, there isn't much I can say. In the long run, having the right clothes, having the right shoes, all that nonsense doesn't really matter.
Some things to remember (that will mean nothing to you until you are grown).
Everyone, at times, feels left out. Even those "popular kids", who seem to have it all, sometimes feel alone.
Not everyone is gonna like you. Just like you aren't going to find everyone you meet likeable. At 12, this can feel like the end of the world, but you are gonna have to trust me...it's not.
Have an opinion. It is better to have your own opinion than to just go with the popular one. Whether it is as simple as where you'd like to go to dinner or as complicated as your thoughts on life after death have an opinion.
Keep your moral compass in your pocket. If you wouldn't say it to their face than don't text it, or post it or whisper it. Don't touch things that don't belong to you be that a cell phone or your friend's boyfriend.
Don't believe you're the only one. Don't let your peers try to convince you that you are the only one who doen't have this or you're the only one who has to do that or your the only one who has yet to try it. They are likely lying and even if they aren't who cares.
Middle school is a tough time. People change. Friends change.
You will find that throughout your life that when you need a friend it is best to be a friend.
Sometimes our friends show up on our peewee football cheerleading squads and they never leave.
Other times you find them in the lunchroom over shared conversation. Sometimes they greet you at a bus stop just when you didn't think you could feel more alone.
They live next door to you. They work with you. You find them on the playground.
Just be yourself and treat others the way you'd like to be treated (even if they don't treat you kindly) and you really can't go wrong.
All my love,
Mom
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About Me
- kisatrtle
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
7 random thoughts:
Beautiful, wonderful advice. I think I need to save this for when my daughter starts middle school.
Great letter, Kisa! Kids need to hear these things whether they believe them at the time or not. Great message.
My 21 yo daughter has some ex-friends who still haven't learned these lessons and need to understand that people grow and change over the years and some friends may be with you your whole life and others just aren't.
Growth means change and sometimes that is painful, but we all get through it, whether we deal with it well or not is up to us.
Time certainly does fly by...but one thing is always constant, a mothers love and yours shows beautifuly in your letter :)
Sob! I'm feeling veklempt! Where were you when MY kids were in middle school?
I wish I had got that letter when I started middle school. Even if kids may not understand, at least their mind will record the words and maybe act upon them unconsciously!
Hugs
Jon
Wonderful advice. I wish I'd had a letter like this during middle school.
Have an opinion - terrific advice. I'm going to share your wisdom with my son starting middle school in a few days. I'm not the biggest fan of all the middle school drama. Hoping both our kids sail right through it.