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Monday, June 13, 2011

A lesson in audience behavior: what not to do

After attending nearly a half dozen graduations over the past few days I found myself completely appalled by the disrespect shown by certain members of the audience.

Clearly, it is time to review what NOT to do while attending a public event.

DO NOT let your preschool aged child play on the stadium banisters. This is distracting, as well as, dangerous. People are trying to take photos and now your kid's ass is hanging out and in their line of sight. You decided to bring your kid and now you need to make that kid sit. No banister swinging, no stair running, no resting in the aisle. If they are attending the event, then they should be old enough to watch it.

DO NOT get up and leave. Unless you are having a medical emergency, you do not get to leave before it is over. You especially do not get to leave in the middle of a valedictorian's speech while wearing big ass high heel shoes that sound like a tank trunk clanging on the stadium steps. You are an adult. You should know better.

DO NOT wear that. I realize we live in a casual world but of the outfits worn to graduation were unbelievable. The basics--your breasts should be covered, your dress should be a length that would be allowed in high school, and strangers should not be wondering if you are family or paid-by-the hour entertainment. I actually saw a girl in jeans that looked as if they had been shredded. Seriously, she didn't have a single pair with only one hole?

DO NOT stand up unless instructed to. Do you really think that you are the only person trying to take a photo? Do you really think your video is somehow more important than the person behind you. In case no one has told you lately, you aren't royalty. DOWN IN FRONT.

DO NOT keep passing your crying baby around. I know I said you are not allowed to leave, but that rule is void if your baby is screaming. If your baby is screaming, you are not only allowed to leave but you are encouraged to leave.

DO NOT sit through the processional. When the program indicates that you should stand up, that means you should stand up until someone tells you to sit. It doesn't mean you should stand up only until you see your graduate. It doesn't mean that you only have to stand for half the processional because "This class is frickin' big."  It simply means get off your ass and stand. Be happy that you are able to.

DO NOT argue with other audience members. I will be the first to admit that this one can be hard. However, I encourage you not to yell profanities at people sitting around you. I implore you to treat others the way you would like to be treated. It's not that hard. Take a deep breathe and try it.

DO NOT bull horn your neighbor. For some reason, people feel the need to bull horn their graduates, cow bell their graduates, and even hold up signs displaying their pride over their graduates accomplishments. Ummm....did you notice the person sitting in front of you is wearing a hearing aide and you just blew it off their ear? WTF?

SHUT UP. You need to refrain from talking while others are speaking. Believe it or not there may actually be someone around you that is attempting to listen and write down what the speakers are saying.

All of the above happened at the five graduations I recently attended.  

Are we becoming a society that is so self absorbed we can no longer understand how our actions are affecting the people around us?

Have you seen audience behavior recently that you found to be deplorable?

3 random thoughts:

Kristie Maynard said...

Oh don't even get me started! I can't believe what some people think is acceptable. Another one to go on your list is "Don't use your cell phone!" If it is really urgent that you are reached, maybe you are an ER doc or something, put it on silent and vibrate and keep it in your pocket. If you MUST take the call, being that you are an ER doc and someone will die if you don't answer, leave the area and talk quietly!
We had a wonderful principal at my kids middle school, who when there was an event, be it concert, awards ceremony, graduation, whatever, went over the basic rules of audience behavior. Did it every single time, too bad she needed to, but even then there were some people who still didn't get it!
On a side note, congrats! I follow Enfys too!

Becca said...

BAHAHA this is way too funny. I think just about all of these can also be applied to the movies and sadly, church as well!

Jenners said...

It is sad how pathetic and rude and clueless people are. Ugh!

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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