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Friday, December 3, 2010

Lessons from the Lunchlady - what I learned in the cafeteria this week


It's funny how much you can learn when you are forced to be in charged.  My stint as cafeteria manager continues as I learned this week that my boss cannot return until after the Christmas break.

That being said, I now have to handle the Christmas holiday meal; which includes stuffing balls.  I really don't like stuffing balls.  The good news is that a new sub will be helping me beginning Monday.  This, quite frankly, is the only news that is keeping me from drinking heavily.

I learned this week that kindergartners will stand at the condiment table until someone puts a rice krispy treat on their tray.  When asked why they didn't just get one and go they will say "I can't pick it up whiles I'm holding my food."  They will say this with a look on their face to indicate that they now believe that you have just asked them the most idiotic question of the day.

I learned that when working with two substitutes you need to be extremely specific.  For example, you can not say things like "Use a one ounce scoop and a two ounce cup and give the kids a heaping scoop of nacho cheese."  If you say that your sub will overflow the two ounce cups and say "That's what you said to do."

Really?  I said overflow the cheese cups that we are going to hand to 5 year olds after they have been in the warmer?  That's doesn't sound like something I would say.

I learned that just when you think you've heard everything your sub will berate a teacher right in front of her class because her students weren't in line properly.  You will then be forced to confront your sub and explain to her how to speak to people as if she were a 1st grade student.

I learned that after encouraging your sub to apologize to said offended teacher that they may write a note to said teacher that says things like "I am sorre that I was not nice."  You will then realize that your sub is functionally illiterate and that by reporting her to the administration you may have contributed to her likely termination.

This revelation will not make you feel like a good person, even though you did nothing wrong.

I learned that even after having one of the craziest days in the cafeteria to date that you can still be surprised.  In fact it is possible that the company who provides your milk will show up just as you are about to leave and indicate that they have to take your chocolate milk because, get this, it contains some eggnog.

Your heart will race trying to quickly ascertain as to whether or not you may just have inadvertently given eggs to a child with an egg allergy.  You will sigh with relief that you do not have an egg allergy in your building.

I learned that when chocolate milk is not offered at breakfast kids will cry.  They also will not take white milk and you will have to walk around the cafeteria making sure that everyone eating has something to drink.

After a week like this one, I learned that improvisation is a lunch ladies most vital tool.

What did you learn this week?

4 random thoughts:

septembermom said...

Chocolate milk is a big deal, even with teenagers. I'm still giggling about "stuffing balls." LOL.

David Waters said...

these always make me giggle...over flow the cheese cups,lol

cheers

Kristie Maynard said...

You sure do learn a lot as a lunch lady, don't you?
This week I learned that 2nd graders can be horrid. My young friend has Tourette's and spoke with her religious ed kids about it. She is 19 and recently her motor tics have gotten bad enough that she felt she needed to explain to her class. She is amazing when talking about Tourette's and explains it very well. Once she told the kids about it, explained that the arm movements that she was having were something she couldn't help, some of the kids proceeded to make fun of her. Flailing their arms around and twitching their faces, then laughing and saying "Look at me, I can't help it!" Not funny. Poor kid was extremely upset with this behavior. I totally understand. She isn't laying down for it though, she is dealing with the situation and believe me those kids better not continue with that kind of behavior. Don't you wonder sometimes what these kids are learning, or not learning at home??? You'd think after her talk they would be better about it.

Jenners said...

I'm sorry but this lunch lady gig sounds like a nightmare!

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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