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Thursday, February 4, 2010

What not to say...

Did you ever wish that some people you knew had to take a class in what was appropriate conversation and what was not?

For example, today at the cafeteria, a substitute aide started a conversation with me by saying, "I thought I had a hemorrhoid but..."

Now I knew this wasn't going to be headed in a place I wanted to go but was at a loss as to how to stop it.

Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to offer some etiquette tips.

What not to say...

  • unless asked, all medical procedures should not be discussed.
  • Never, under any circumstances, should you start a sentence with "I thought I had a hemorrhoid but..."
  • your sex life is of no interest to me.
  • please refrain from telling me who your ex is currently "banging".
  • and, as always, discussing politics can lead to the loss of friends.

What you CAN say...

  • Are we really going to get 2 feet of snow this weekend?
  • Did you try the tangerine chicken? What did you think?
  • That new episode of LOST was mind blowing. Did you watch it?
  • When will GLEE's second season start?
  • Seen anything weird at Walmart lately?

Can you see the difference?

If you know anyone who could benefit from this post, lead the way.

4 random thoughts:

Anonymous said...

I actually had a guy ask me if I wanted to see his new tatoo....on his ass....I had never met him b4, I was in line at target, and he actually started the conversation with that...he needs to read your list;)

Dan said...

You forgot the big can't/shouldn't - even more deadly than politics is religion. Any conversation the begins "You are going to hell ..." is not likely to end well.

Enfys said...

You are hilarious, my coffee went down the wrong way when I was reading this post. You could add 'my dog died today' as a conversation stopper as well.
En x

Gina said...

This made me laugh out loud. I have a social language group with whom I work once a week, and we actually go over things like that!

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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