Today we will be discussing strange things we have heard this week and odd conversations we have had. Here are my top five:

• I noticed I had a large amount of charges on my credit card this month and I thought, "That can't be right." Sure enough I was charge for a hotel reservation that I cancelled. Great. I called the hotel. They said, "Oh your name was spelled wrong." Seriously. You spelled my name wrong but still managed to bill my card for a room I never checked into. Incredulous. They are crediting it and it should appear within five business days. Unless they give the credit to the person's who name appears on the bill. Lesson learned: Check your credit card statement.
• After telling my doctor I couldn't sleep, he responded with "Are you depressed?" No. I'm. Tired. Isn't that what I just said? Lesson learned: Repeat everything you say to your doctor at least six times.
• Cashier at Walmart asked me: What are you going to make with those AV-E-ODD-Os? Are you serious? They are called avocados. I'm making guacamole. The oddest thing about this...I had this very conversation at a different Walmart a few months ago. Lesson Learned: Cashiers at Walmart don't eat avocados.
• On the phone with dog groomer: Dog Groomer: "Has he ever had his toenails clipped?" Me: "No"; Dog Groomer: "What did he do when you tried to cut them?"; me: "yelped." Dog Groomer: "I don't stop if he yelps. I just keep going. I have stuff here to stop the bleeding." Lesson learned: Find the a different groomer.
• Oddest conversation of the week: At the dog park some guy walks up to me and says "Are you interested in any bull dicks? I have them in extra large, large and small." Me: "What?" Odd guy: "Yeah I can get them in any size you want. Dogs really like them but they kind of smell. They're actual bull penises. I'd only let him have them outside." Me: "No thank you." Lesson learned: You just never know who might show up at the dog park.

What is the oddest conversation you had this week?