I was cleaning off a book shelve the other day as part of my never ending quest to throw shit out on Tuesday and I came across these little gems of goodness.

Thinking they might be my kids, I opened them up and may have actually gasped. They are filled with writings of mine from the 1990s. Writings and dreams of publication.

What I can keep track of now on querytracker I used to keep track of in this book. We have talked many times about my dreams of publication and I haven't been shy about sharing with you how badly rejection hurts. But seeing it in my own hand writing, is painful. Realizing I have had a dream, a goal if you will, for more than half my life that I have yet to accomplish sort of feels like a swift kick in the gut.

Seeing books excel with little plot and no storyline except for graphic sex is deflating.

Inside the covers of these books are copies of the above cartoons. Even then I was convinced that Dogbert's take on the publishing industry was accurate.

Inside they contain sample query letters as well as actually pieces I had forgotten I'd written. I jotted down the 30 steps necessary for becoming a published writer and believe wholeheartedly that I need only to cross off the last one. Find an agent/publisher that believes in you.

Eight words. Fifteen years.

I guess we all realize our dreams at different paces and if I'm being honest, there are some of us out there that simply won't. Some dreams become unattainable. I'm never going to be an eye doctor and I'm okay with that. Other dreams get under our skin and simply force us never to give up.

Dr. Seuss was rejected to many times to count. Stephen King received countless rejections for his first novel. Anne Frank was told her heroine lack interest and JK Rowling was dismissed by numerous publishers including powerhouses like Penguin and HarperCollins and had her book published by a tiny London based publishing company at the insistence of the CEOs 8 year old daughter.

I remain steadfast and confident (most days) that I will persevere.