Ever since I was a small child, I have been writing stories. Some of these stories are terrible. Some of these stories are incomplete. Some of these stories are still a work in progress.

In November of 2010, I completed a 55,000 word story that is near and dear to my heart. I fell in love with the characters. I became friends with them. I laughed when they laughed and I cried (oh how I cried) when they cried.

For 30 straight days the words of that book flowed out of me. i dreamt about it. I eagerly jumped out of bed at unreasonable times just to write something down.

When the book ended, I felt a little sad. Would I ever know how life turned out for them? Would I ever know if they had regrets? For non-writers, I am sure this sounds like poppycock nonsence but while I was pleased with the ending, I longed to know more.

I walked away from that book for a solid two months and then I actually let someone read it, my dear friend B. It is so hard to let anyone read your words. It is like handing over your heart and asking them to be gentle. I longed for affirmation, but I also sought honesty.

After receiving significantly positive feedback, I offered the manuscript to others to read. A former English teacher turned principal took up the challenge of editing a few things for me and when she came upon a contest she encouraged me to enter.

A national contest.

I let myself dream about what it would be like to win that. To get recognized as the children's book of the year! To finally hold a published copy of my book.

Last week NAESP announced the top 25 finalists and my name WAS ON THERE.

Holy shit!

I let myself imagine just a little bit more what it might be like to be invited to a National conference as a guest of honor so-to-speak. What it would be like to not wear a hairnet and wait on others but to actually have people in line waiting for a signed copy of my book. I visualized it. I saw it.

Doing all of this makes it happen, right?

When I found out that next's years conference is just a hope skip and a jump away in Baltimore, I felt even more certain that I would win.

I. WOULD. BE. SIGNING. MY. NOVELS. LESS. THAN. AN. HOUR. FROM. HOME.

It was sure to happen.

And then it didn't.

The top five finalists were released today and sadly, my name did not make the cut.

And while I know it is just a detour, and while I continue to be proud of my strong finish, I can't help but feel a little heartbroken, as I was certain it was my turn.

It's been 40 days since NaNoWriMo and I thought it was a good time to update you all on my progress or lack their of.

Sadly, I did not reach my goal of 50,000 words in the month of December. I did flesh out about 25,000 words and since then have added a measly 5,000.

Let's face it...I write much better under deadline.

After having a few new people read my Nano Novel from last year, I have had new life breathed into me and I can no longer drowned out the voices of my new novel. They are nagging me to get their story down and I have fallen deeply in love with my protagonist.

She is such a beautiful young adult...faced with a tough life and a lot of teen drama, she shines.

My goal is to have a rough draft complete by February 15th.

I guess I need to set my own deadlines.

It's time to start baseball.  Son is playing t-ball again this year.  It's his last season and then next year he will move up to C ball.  Friday was his first practice and it was 38 degrees.  Needless to say, we didn't really practice.  We just forked over fundraiser money and agreed to meet the following week.

Looks like Little G might be the oldest on the team.  Seems like there may be a lot of newbies.  The sad part about that is we are practicing in a field.  Not a baseball field.  Just a field.  It's kind of hard to teach little kids how to run to to first base and stay in the baseline when there is no first base or baseline. 

I'm excited that we are on the Pittsburgh Pirates this year but am confused as to why the coach thinks that they wear yellow shirts.  I'm that's my neck of the words and I'm certain that they don't wear yellow.




Of course, we already own gray pants and white pants and his coach wants him to wear black pants.  I suppose I could have guessed that one.

Here's hoping the weather warms up a little this week so baseball becomes a little less painful.

Saturday and Sunday were low key days which is great because next week they both look crazy busy.  I finished the first major edit on my book.  Still not sure what, if anything, I'm going to do with it.  I've taken to reading a lot of teen fiction lately and a lot of times I find myself wondering how did this person get their book published.  I mean, let's be honest, unless you have an in, it's hard to get even a look.

Knowing that is a bit depressing.

Here's hoping you had a fantastic weekend.

I decided to take a chance this year and participate in NaNoWriMo.

I thought about it last year and then I waited too long and didn't do it.

This year I felt prepared.  Even excited.  I mean it's only 1667 words a day.  That doesn't sound insurmountable.  That doesn't sound too difficult.  I felt certain that I could accomplish that with the utmost frequency.

I was ready.

Since signing up in late October I've received numerous pep talks and I've loved each and every one of them.  I've also fallen in love with my characters.  Sometimes I don't want to stop writing about them.  There have been quite a few occasions when I have written well over 1667 words on that particular day.

I'm proud to tell you in this Week Two of NaNoWriMo I have written over 17,000 words.  In this Week Two where many others have given up.  I have continued.

I have written these words even though I'm acting manager at the cafeteria and have numerous reasons for being exhausted.

I have written these words even though I cut my finger on Monday on a irresponsibly placed steak knife (but we aren't talking about that).

I have written these words even though because of the Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving Day holidays my evening work schedule is all askew.  Instead of having two meetings, some weeks I have four!

I have written these words in between soccer practice, cheerleading practice and boy scouts.

I have written these words in the car, at the beach, near the soccer field and even at an occasional meeting.

I have written these words and even if I don't reach that 50,000 word goal, no one can take away the 17,000 I've already written.

Here's to 33,000 words more by the end of the month.