Today I looked fear in the face and laughed.

Today I jumped in with both feet and sent out six queries regarding my young adult novel.  After the manuscript made it to the top 25 in the NAESP book of year contest I pinned my hopes on winning that bad boy!

Then I felt a little crushed when it didn't get any further.

Today, I decided that top 25 is pretty damn good and I'm not going to be afraid to continue to pursue this.  Today, I sent a query letter to six different literary agents in hopes that one of them might want to see more of the book.

I will keep you posted on the process.  I am going to try to send out some feelers once a week until I start getting some feedback.

Here's hoping someone picks up the book before my 40th birthday at the end of July!

The dream is not dead.

I'm linking myself up again with Pish Posh's Get Fit Challenge and I am encouraging you all to do the same.

Do you have any left over New Year's resolutions that are nagging at you? Do you find yourself complaining more than rejoicing? Do you need to write more? To whine less? To take your own advice and avoid people who make you unhappy?

Link up with Pish every Thursday. We can encourage each other. We can share our successes and our failures. She's giving away a cool prize and best of all when it ends, you might just be in a better place than where you were when it started.

PERSONAL GOALS

I am pecking away at my book and more determined than ever to finish it before the end of this challenge.

On a similar note, I have found some awesome websites that might just help me with the publishing of my other book. Since thing didn't work out with the NAESP contest I really need to get serious on finding another outlet.

Query Tracker and Agent Query may need to become my stomping grounds.

I was beating myself up about not getting on the treadmill but I decided that walking in our hilly neighborhood is probably even better for me.


PROFESSIONAL GOALS

I KICKED ASS on the ServSafe test and got a 92%. I don't think I have ever gotten a 92% on anything. It was a challenge and I am so happy that it is complete. Certified for five years.


MENTAL HEALTH

I am happy to have the house back. All company is gone. We are not traveling for the Easter holiday. It is just a chillaxin' kind of time. I think I need it. The basement project continues and little by little it is starting to look like a room!

Yeah!

Looking forward to hearing how everyone did this week!

Ever since I was a small child, I have been writing stories. Some of these stories are terrible. Some of these stories are incomplete. Some of these stories are still a work in progress.

In November of 2010, I completed a 55,000 word story that is near and dear to my heart. I fell in love with the characters. I became friends with them. I laughed when they laughed and I cried (oh how I cried) when they cried.

For 30 straight days the words of that book flowed out of me. i dreamt about it. I eagerly jumped out of bed at unreasonable times just to write something down.

When the book ended, I felt a little sad. Would I ever know how life turned out for them? Would I ever know if they had regrets? For non-writers, I am sure this sounds like poppycock nonsence but while I was pleased with the ending, I longed to know more.

I walked away from that book for a solid two months and then I actually let someone read it, my dear friend B. It is so hard to let anyone read your words. It is like handing over your heart and asking them to be gentle. I longed for affirmation, but I also sought honesty.

After receiving significantly positive feedback, I offered the manuscript to others to read. A former English teacher turned principal took up the challenge of editing a few things for me and when she came upon a contest she encouraged me to enter.

A national contest.

I let myself dream about what it would be like to win that. To get recognized as the children's book of the year! To finally hold a published copy of my book.

Last week NAESP announced the top 25 finalists and my name WAS ON THERE.

Holy shit!

I let myself imagine just a little bit more what it might be like to be invited to a National conference as a guest of honor so-to-speak. What it would be like to not wear a hairnet and wait on others but to actually have people in line waiting for a signed copy of my book. I visualized it. I saw it.

Doing all of this makes it happen, right?

When I found out that next's years conference is just a hope skip and a jump away in Baltimore, I felt even more certain that I would win.

I. WOULD. BE. SIGNING. MY. NOVELS. LESS. THAN. AN. HOUR. FROM. HOME.

It was sure to happen.

And then it didn't.

The top five finalists were released today and sadly, my name did not make the cut.

And while I know it is just a detour, and while I continue to be proud of my strong finish, I can't help but feel a little heartbroken, as I was certain it was my turn.