A eulogy for my father in law
The news of your passing came like a swift kick in the gut.
You were just here last weekend. You were goofing around with the kids. You took your oldest grandchild to the bookstore.
I don't think she will ever enter a bookstore and not think of you.
I will miss many things about you, like how you always said, "and then you said."
I will miss the way you let my kids just climb all over you and how you would tease them that they were messing up your hair.
I will miss the way you always teased me about having stuff all over my kitchen island.
I have known you for more than half my life. We've shared weddings, graduations and, lately, far too many funerals.
We've shared birthday dinners and Christmases.
We've even shared an occasional dance... Although that was very occasional.
I will miss talking about conspiracy theories and football with you, even though I'm pretty sure I had the upper hand.
I will even miss the way you never wanted to make a decision about where to have dinner.
We are all trying to find comfort in knowing that one day our paths will cross again.
Until then...
Thank You, Martin Luther King
Be blessed, my friends.
Lessons from the Lunchlady: What's your cheeseburger taste like
With a portion of my family down with the flu this week was a lesson in juggling work duties with home needs.
Thankfully Middle G is back on her feet and ready to tackle the three day week we have on the horizon.
Here's what I learned:
Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name: When my co-worker's second grader went down with the flu and she went home, it was a sight for sore eyes to see my former boss, who popped in to have lunch with us. She slipped back into a hairnet and helped us serve. It was a win-win.
Mac & cheese took a right hook this week. The thing about lunch count is we desperately need them to stay pretty high. I mean, with school districts cutting everything, it's not uncommon to have the cafeteria staff outsourced. I really don't want that to happen and as of this writing it doesn't seem to be a discussion item. That being said, I can't figure out how the minds of our customer base works? Mac & cheese used to be one of our most popular meals....this week not so much.
Everybody likes s'mores... We had a campfire themed lunch on Friday of hot dogs, baked beans and a low fat s'more. The key to increasing lunch count, may simply be adding chocolate. We had a lot of new faces in line.
Where's the sub? One of the days I had to leave early, the sub filing in would complete her work and then sort of shadow one of the other girls until they told her what else to do, It was similar to the game we have all played with our toddlers. You know the one...(insert high pitched voice) Where's little G? Even though you know he's right in front of you, he thinks you can't see him because his hands are over his face and he can't see you.
Reason #3,546 why the flu virus loves elementary school. Kindergarten student to another kindergartener: "what does your cheeseburger taste like?" Other student, "I don't know what does your cheeseburger taste like. You try." They then proceeded to swap cheeseburger and try a bite of each others. Afterwards the first boy said, "Wow, my cheeseburger tastes just like your cheeseburger."
What did you learn this week?
A day in the life of school broccoli
Hello... My name is Broderick Broccoli and I'm here today to tell you what a day in the life of school broccoli is like...
Follow me.....
As you can see, I'm good for you... I build bone strength and keep the immune system healthy.
Unfortunately, no one cares because I also make you gassy and I am green. If I were yellow like corn more elementary kids would eat me. If I were rainbow... Well then I'd be everyone's favorite. But sadly, I'm green.
Here I am with my cousin Cogsworth Cauliflower who is even more despised than me.
Personally I think I look pretty good in Saran Wrap.
Ready for the tray! Cup me up and serve me with dip...
This is going to be a great day...
What I think will happen!!!
What usually happens...
How can I get more kids to enjoy all I have to offer?
Does anyone have a rainbow marker I could borrow??
If the Golden Globes were for food service employees...
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I watched a good portion of the Golden Globes last night and I couldn't help but wonder what they would be like with a little less glitter and a little more hairnet.
I present the Golden Corncob awards...
Hosted by Jamie Oliver, the naked chef, the Golden Corncob awards are for those food service employees who remind kids every day that they need to take a veggie or a fruit.
The award for earliest riser goes to...our high school chefs who often arrive as early as 5:30 a.m. just to make sure the kids in their buildings have something hot to eat for breakfast.
The award for veggie least likely to be eaten goes to...refried beans. We know you're not supposed to judge by outwardly appearances but...dude...you look like baby shit.
The award for vegetable most difficult for elementary students to pronounce goes to Ass...Pear...Guts. And yes Refried, even asparagus beats you.
The award for best fruit mix has to go to orange and kiwi slices because orange and green make me happy and I'm handing out the awards.
The award for most creative cafeteria shirt high school level goes to ....
And best shirt elementary level goes to ...
The award for worst place a student could possibly vomit goes to the milk cooler.
The Golden Corncob for best place to have a nervous breakdown goes to the walk-in freezer. It's a wonderful place for a cool down.
The award for craziest thing the milkman has ever said has to be "Please contact your customer service representative. I just don't know anything about the strawberry milk."
We close our first ever Golden CornCob awards with a nod to sexiest hairnet...wink wink...
Thanks for stopping by...
Lessons from the Lunchlady: I wallowed my toof
This week was a sprinkle of snot and vomit wrapped around a pesky little flu virus. My middle daughter is down and out with the flu virus. Sickest I've seen her in a long while ;-(
Here's what I learned:
No matter how you slice it, kids are all alike. While having lunch this week, I listened to a coworker complain about how humorous her kids find flatulence all while slicing her orange as daintily as possible. Clearly, farting is funny. No matter how you slice it.
I wallowed my toof. A kindergartner was crying at breakfast. That pancake and sausage did the trick with his loose tooth. Of course, he wasn't expecting it and promptly swallowed it.
Breakfast and blood. A kindergartner came through the line at breakfast with a bloody gash over his eye. Me: "do you know your bleeding?" Him: "Yep... (Nameless) accidentally hit me with a wooden block in my face." Hmm... I didn't realize I could accidentally hit people in the face with wooden blocks. Thanks for the tip. The school nurse patched him up and all was well.
Happy birthday! I said to a first grader whose name was announced in the morning as having a birthday that day. Her facial expression was complete confusion. Me: "Isn't it your birthday?" Student: "I don't know? I'm not sure when my birfday is? Now that I'm 40...I've decided that's an excellent approach.
Beans kids will eat. I've been charged with coming up with a kid friendly recipe that elementary student will like. I'm leaning towards jelly beans. What will Michelle Obama think?
What did you learn this week?
Tuesday Tribute: you guys rock!
I'm blessed to have awesome friends.
Friends who give you love even after you write a letter to your tonsil.
Friends who tell you normal is boring.
Friends who support you when you start a ridiculous adventure.
Friends who help you through the boring moments of life.
Friends who share a glass of wine with you.
Friends who read your writings.
Friends who know when you need a hug.
Friends who get your jokes.
Friends who share lunch with you.
Thanks for being the best!!!
About Me
- kisatrtle
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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