Here's hoping that you all are smiling as big as my little guy tomorrow during your Thanksgiving feast. We were supposed to have quite a crowd, but the weather and every day life is not cooperating.

I don't know about you but it is hard for me to believe that I'm going to eat one of these guys in just two days.
Look at him, he's giving me the eye. Or maybe it's you he's looking at.
In preparation for my upcoming Griswald Family-like Thanksgiving, I decided to educate my children about the turkey. This way they will be able to throw out random facts during dinner as a way of distraction.
Of course, now that they are educated I'm convinced no one is going to eat any turkey. After all, "He's so cute" according to my 9 year old. (Pray that my future son-in-law is less bird-like)
Now for the list of random facts you probably never wanted to know, but once you read will likely never forget. At least you can say you weren't warned.
1) The costume that "Big Bird" wears on Sesame Street is rumored to be made of turkey feathers. Makes sense to me.
2) Ben Franklin actually wanted to make the turkey our national bird. Picture old "One Eye" on all of our coins.
3) Turkeys can run up to 25 miles per hour! I'm surprised more don't get away.
4) In 2007 the average American ate 17.5 pounds of turkey. I mean damn...what do they consider average!
5) Commercially raised turkeys cannot fly. However, wild turkeys can fly for short distances up to 55 miles per hour. Again, its surprising more don't get away.
6) The heaviest turkey ever raised was 86 pounds; his name was Rover and his family treated him like he was the pet dog. I'm not really sure about that, but 86 pounds What. Were. They. Feeding. Him???
7. The male turkey is called the Tom and the female turkey is called the Hen. Female turkeys can occasionally have beards similar to their male counterparts. Now I'm picturing a bunch of Hens at the salon getting waxed. Can you say adult ADHD??
8. 45 million turkeys are eaten on Thanksgiving.
9. In England, 200 years ago, turkeys were walked to market in herds. They wore booties to protect their feet. Turkeys were also walked to market in the United States. Makes me want to recite "To Market"

Andy at Wild ARS Chase" is challenging his blog readers this week to post one of the following:

A) Something nobody knows about you, or B) One of your favorites stories from your childhood, or C) Your 10 Top Favorite (Fill in the Blank).

It's a "Get to Know Ya" kind of week.

Since I find it my duty to do whatever Andy says and because this is my 200th blog posting I decided to provide you with a list of 200 things you know you want to know about me, but unfortuately I couldn't think of that many. However, I'm sure you will be enlighten by this list of 100 and want to be my new BFF.

1. I have one sister.
2. Her name is CrazyTrain.
3. She lives in North Carolina.
4. I wish she lived closer.
5. She is four years younger than me.
6. My parents are divorced.
7. My mom and step-father live in Virginia.
8. My dad and step-mom live in Western Pennsylvania.
9. I often get car sick.
10. So does my son.
11. My current favorite TV show is Boston Legal.
12. I'm sad that it is going off the air.
13. I am a work at home mom.
14. I freelance for a local paper.
15. Things I write about regularly include: school budgets, construction projects, taxes.
16. I know...you are bored just thinking about reading it.
17. Believe it or not, I actually like my job.
18. I have three kids.
19. My oldest daughter is 9.
20. My middle daughter is 7.
21. My son is 5.
22. My husband is six months younger than me.
23. He likes to bring that up often.
24. I am a soccer mom and don't mind when people point that out.
25. In high school, I smoked a lot and thought that made me cool.
26. My maiden name used to be a color.
27. I like country music.
28. Occasionally, I rap in the shower.
29. People often accuse me of being funny, even when I'm not trying to be.
30. I don't like to cry in front of people.
31. I have over 20 scrapbooks.
32. My kids are also very crafty.
33. I like to swim.
34. My life is often like a Seinfeld episode.
35. I was born in July.
36. That means I'm a LEO.
37. My husband is a Sagittarius.
38. We have been together since we were 16 years old.
39. That means I have been with him for more than half my life.
40. He still makes me smile.
41. We met while working at Burger King together.
42. Apparently I look sexy while flipping burgers.
43. He is an engineer.
44. My hair is naturally curly.
45. Sometimes I find that annoying.
46. I went to my senior prom with my husband.
47. He went to my senior prom (he was a junior at a rival school)
48. Both my grandmas are still alive.
49. I have one living grandfather.
50. Unfortunately, he has Alzheimer's and no longer remembers me.
51. I do not like to cook.
52. My husband makes all the meat we eat in our house.
53. We don't eat a lot of meat.
54. I am more of a cat person than a dog person.
55. My childhood pet was a cat named Sammy.
56. He lived to be 18 years old.
57. When he died, my dad cried.
58. In my life, I have only seen my dad cry twice.
59. The other time was when my mom left.
60. I am only 5'2.
61. Everyone seems tall to me.
62. My husband is 6'2.
63. I like tall men.
64. My favorite food is Mexican.
65. I could eat tacos every day.
66. For breakfast I usually have a poptart.
67. Cinnamon is my favorite.
68. The Pittsburgh Steelers are the only team worth rooting for.
69. I am a huge football fan.
70. JoePa is considered a legend by all members of my family.
71. My favorite cartoon is Spongebob.
72. For the longest time I thought Spongebob's friend Patrick was a giant tongue.
73. I do not like to play card games.
74. I am a sore looser.
75. My dad encouraged me to play little league when it was not customary for girls to play baseball.
76. Playing baseball was tortuous, but I think I'm a better person because of it.
77. I often played catcher.
78. Nothing pisses a boy off more than a girl taking away his winning run.
79. My favorite movie is Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion.
80. Someday I will write a novel about nothing.
81. If you are still reading this, you should probably find something else to do.
82. My favorite children's book is Harry Potter.
83. My favorite adult book is The Red Tent.
84. My least favorite subject in school - Math.
85. My favorite subject - Art.
86. We have a cat named Natasha.
87. She lives in our garage.
88. She is currently too fat to properly clean herself or fit through her cat door.
89. We also have a hermit crab.
90. His name is Patrick.
91. He doesn't look like a tongue.
92. I like to drink Diet Pepsi.
93. I do not like Coke products.
94. I have worked at numerous fast food restaurants, including LJS, Pizza Hut, and Burger King.
95. I wear contact lenses.
96. Without my lenses, I cannot see the big E on the eye chart.
97. The worst job I ever had was as a maid at the Comfort Inn.
98. If you ever worked as a maid in a hotel, you would never want to stay in one.
99. Once I left more than a half a dozen ferrets loose on the 2nd floor because the person staying there never mentioned to the front desk that they were closed up in the bathroom.
100. There was a senior citizen convention on that same floor.

Wow that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Apparently I'm full of useless facts about my life. I hope you feel like you know me a little better or at least will remember what I said about hotels.

Seriously, never stay at one.

Yesterday was parent visitation day at my daughters respective schools. For those of you out there who haven't heard of this made up holiday it officially recognizes American Education Week.

What that means is up for interpretation.

Anyway, parents are "encouraged" (more like nagged to death by their own children) to visit that classroom and observe their child's "instructional program". How's that for a press release.

I can only imagine the dread endured by all teachers during parental visitation. I imagine them all getting ready for work that day saying, "Please don't let me look like an ass today."

My first visit began just after 9 a.m. where I found my second grader in the throws of music class. Shortly before I got there, a nameless student vomited in the entrance way. Yes, you read that right. In true Adam Sandler from Big Daddy fashion, the 20 something music teacher covered the vomit with paper towels and continued to practice for the Holiday program, while waiting for the missing custodian.

Let's recap, so far we have vomit, Christmas carols, and a missing custodian. Did I mention that it is just after 9 a.m.?

Music is now over, the vomit is now clean and we are lined up and walking.

Me (to one of the students): "So where are we going now?"

Student: "Mandatory bathroom break."

Me: "Sweet."

Upon returning from our mandatory bathroom break, I was privy to what it is like to give 20 second graders a spelling test and let me tell you. TEACHERS NEED TO BE PAID MORE MONEY!

One little boy tried to cheat on his test right in front of me. No joke. I pointed out the fact that I could see his spelling words in his desk and he turned about three shades of red and threw them away. I've been dying to know how many he got right.

After spending an hour observing that instructional program, I headed off to intermediate school. Our intermediate school is dedicated to the awkward age of 4th, 5th and 6th graders.

I joined my daughter's 4th grade class in the middle of geometry. That's right--GEOMETRY. Are you smarter than a 4th grader? Here is your test...how many centimeters are there in a decimeter? I know, I never heard of a decimeter either.

Daughter's teacher managed to shatter a mixing glass into a billion centimeter pieces without even trying and when I told her that glass was at least better than vomit she didn't even crack a smile.

Hello..didn't you get the memo? Funny. That's. What. I. Do!

Geometry was over (Thank GOD) and we were off to our new adventure. It had to be a little better, right? Wrong. 4th grade gym class. UGH.

On the 3 mile walk from my daughters lower level classroom to the upper level gymnasium, I'm pretty sure her teacher SHHHHHH'd me twice.

After learning for the umpteenth time in gym, that not everyone can juggle, I was glad that my instructional observation was over for the day and feel I must again reiterate that TEACHERS NEED TO BE PAID MORE MONEY!

It should be obvious that I love a good story. So let me share this one with you.

Setting: Golds Gym

Me: (sitting down at the thigh press) "Wow, whoever was using this last was pressing 75 pounds. I can't even make the bloody thing budge."

75 year old lady beside me, who we will call S: "Oh sorry about that, honey, I usually take the pin out."

Oh you read that right, the 75 year old I was sharing the gym weight room with was kicking my sorry, scrawny, weakling ass.

Me: (while moving the pin to 25 pounds) "You are really strong."

S: "Thanks. It's all my chiropractor's doing. He is the nicest man alive. I could hardly move when I started going to him. I was in pain all over. He saved my life."

Me: "I used to go to a chiro, but haven't in a long time. I really need to go back. I have a nerve problem that runs down my lower back and over my butt."

S: "I could set something up for you. Maybe a free consult."

Me: Thinking to myself "This is odd. I don't even know you. Why would you do that? I live in a county where most people never make eye contact, let alone speak to you." (out loud) "That would be nice."

And set me up she did--with a free consult. As a test I brought my five year old along. The entire office passed with flying colors. Not only did he adjust my lower back, which provided some relief from that tingling and numbness I constantly experience, he adjusted my neck and I haven't had a single headache all day.

I think I'm in LOVE with him...

and just when I thought I couldn't like this Dr. anymore. He (not his staff) called me today, at my home, just to see how I was feeling and if I'd had any pain from the adjustments.

S. is right. He is the nicest doctor in the world.