10 Things I heard on Black Friday

1. My sister: "I'll just sleep for five more minutes."

Me: "Then you'll have to wake up again."

My sister: "I don't mind."

2. Every thirty minutes, my sister, who is acclimated to southern weather, saying "Damn, it's cold out here."

3. Me to the cashier at McDonalds, "I was trying to order a coffee but your speaker doesn't seem to be working." Rude as hell cashier, "Oh the middle one is workin'; you wasn't at the middle one?" Me (taking the high road) "Um so can we get a coffee?"

4. At Walmart this morning, 4:45 a.m., someone said, "How the f**k can they be out of carts? Don't they have like 300,000?"

5. "This sales item isn't coming up the sale price. I'm going to have to have a manager override this." Register light begins to flash. 28 people behind us begin to glare.

6. "Doesn't Toys R Us know we are going through a recession? Why isn't everything in this store on sale?"

7. "Do yous want the buffet or are yous ready to order?"

8. At Target, the man on the intercom kept continually announcing that the line started in the "intimates" near the associate dressed like the Cat in the Hat. What part of that sentence doesn't belong?

9. "I think I need another Red Bull."

10. "I'm about to fall out on this here couch and drool on myself," my sister about five minutes ago.

Here's hoping you had an equally "enjoyable" time.