Kisatrtle's Kreative Korner

Once Upon A Time: Skin Deep

2012-02-13T06:47:00.001-05:00

After a week off, Once Upon A Time returned last night with a Beauty and the Beast episode. I was excited to see Emilie DeRaven (Claire, from LOST) joining the ABC cast.

In Storybrook

Belle's dad, the florist, gets his truck reposessed by Rumple. Just a few days before Valentine's Day. He is not happy about this.

David and Snow share a brief encounter at the diner. He is reading Withering Heights. (I think) Red suggests that she, Ashley (Cinderella) and Snow go out for Valentine's day. Skip the men.

Rumples house gets broken into. Emma responds but Gold doesn't seem too excited to see her. He tells her that he is a difficult man to love. Indeed.

She recovers most of his stolen goods within a few days, but he is missing something precious and determined to find it. We see him at the drug store buying duct tape and rope. David is buying two Valentines...ouch.

We watch as Rumple takes Belle's dad to a cabin in the words and basically beats him with a cane. Yelling you took her! You shunned her! You need to give her back! Emma intervenes. She arrests Rumple.

The Evil Queen comes to the jail and asks for 30 minutes alone with Rumple. Emma abides. She takes Henry for ice cream.

Regina wants Mr. Gold to tell her his name. And then she will give him what he seeks. After much prying he replies "Rumplestiltskin". Ouch. So he does remember. What does she give him...a chipped tea cup.

Meanwhile, in a rather cute moment, Sean proposes to Ashley. In a rather awkward moment, David gives MaryMargaret the wrong card. Sorry...Prince Charming that's a deal breaker.

In the final scene, we see Regina visit Belle in a mental hospital. Belle is looking rough, humgging herself in the corner. She is very much alive.

In fairytale land...

The story is significantly darker. With her kingdom falling to war, Rumple is their last hope, Belle's father offers riches but Rumple asks for Belle. She doesn't love Gaston, whom she is pledged too. She goes with Rumple.

"No one decides my fate but me," said Belle

Rumple takes her to his castle and locks her up. After awhile, he lets her out. She begins to enjoy his company. He begins to tell her a little bit about his son and his wife. she chips one of his tea cups but he doesn't seem to mind. Gaston comes looking for her but Rumple turns him into a rose.

After a little bit of time, Belle begins to grow fond of Rumple. He releases her. She runs into the EQ. She tells her that all curses can be broken by true loves kiss. Um...kind of cheesey.

Belle returns to the castle. She kisses Rumple who begins to change. But he decides that she is tricking him. He doesn't want to lose his power.

He tells her to leave. She flees.

Rumple smashes many things but leaves the chipped glass.

Later he is visited by the EQ who tells him that Belle's father shunned her. That after her fiance went missing, she couldnt be trusted. He locked her in a tower and she jumped to her death.

Rumple appears crushed.

After the EQ leaves Rumple displays his chipped glass prominately in the main hall. As if to indicate that he is broken and always will be.

Next week. Prince Charming, Snow and a creepy mermaid!

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Puke-a-palooza with a side of Mesclun

2012-02-10T07:18:00.000-05:00

The curtain is about to set on this week and I learned A LOT.

The oven is an important piece of equipment. Ever since reading the book Save Me by Lisa Scottoline in which an elementary school explodes and all the lunchladies die, I've been ever so slightly obsessed with gas leaks. We had a teeny one this week which was promptly fix but then the oven decided that it would not cook the following day. Talk about plan B. We got the chicken cooked by the fries mocked us. So we served salad.

Feta Cheese smells different to children. The kiddos were learning about Israel this week so we served a lovely fish nugget meal with a feta, tomato and cucumber salad. More than once, some helpful kindergartners told me they were "pretty sure somebody fro'd up in there." If I tell em' that's the cheese, do you think they'll still taste it? In their defense, it has been Puke-a-palooza this week at school. We've got kids droppin' left and right from the Puke-a-saurus Virus. Here's hoping I can continue to fend that one off.

Hummus can be mistaken for peanut butter. Also part of our Tastes of Israel, we served a quarter of a pita bread spread with hummus. Let's just say that if you're thinking peanut butter and you bite into hummus, you're gonna be disappointed.

I'll have a 1 oz serving of new regulations with a side of Mesclun. I learned this week that starting next year protein servings for K-8 drop from 2 oz. to 1 oz. of protein. If the kids are already upset with four chicken nuggets does that mean next year they only get two? Also dark green and orange veggies need to be served three or more times a week. I'm not sure about mesclun (pictured above) or butternut squash. Personally, those are hard sells for grown ups.

There is a good chance that I'm not smarter than a lunchlady manager. I decided to apply for my boss's position as Cafeteria Manager. Turns out you have to take a five page written test for this position and I didn't study. Um...admitting that this test was difficult probably makes me look really stupid, but I feel confident that you guys will give me some comment love. Here are some examples of the questions.

You have an employee who is refusing to wear a hairnet, what do you do? Not sure why there were four lines for the answer because my approach needed a lot fewer lines.

After being the manager for one year, give me three words each that the students, the teachers, the administrators, and the Child Nutrition Director will use to describe you? I hope employed is in there somewhere...LOL

How many cups are in 30 gallons? If you have 497 students eating cheeseburgers and the burgers come in 30 lbs cases and each case has 6 sleeves of 9 hamburgers how many cases do you need? How many dozen buns? How many flats of buns is that if each flat contains 30? Um....um...umm

Above is a sample menu for breakfast and for lunch. Under the current Foodservice guidelines are they reimbursable meals? If not, what would you add?

Did I mention this was five pages?

What did you learn this week?

Writer's workshop: Ten years ago

2012-02-09T18:42:00.001-05:00

Ten years ago, I was living in Ohio.

Ten years ago, I was a stay-at-home mother of two daughters. One, almost 3 years old and the other barely eight months old.

Ten years ago, I wrote occassional articles for a parenting magazine about the challenges of multiples, the sleep patterns of infants, the difficulties of breastfeeding and the odds of gender selection.

Ten years ago, our house was much smaller but our yard was a little bigger.

Ten years ago, I had a different circle of friends. This core group now spans multiple states but we still try to keep in touch.

Ten years ago, I was learning about the joys of having a child in preschool.

Ten years ago, I was certain I would never catch up on my sleep.

Ten years ago, my day consisted of library story time, tons of laundry, carpools to preschool, playdates and sippy cups.

Ten years later and a lot has changed.

Our family has grown.

Our home is now in PA.

I no longer go to storytime but every now and again I get to read books like Lunch Bunnies to oh-so-cute kindergarteners.

The sippy cups are gone but the laundry has grown.

Wonderfully Random Wednesday: Chuck E Cheese, Gym Class Heros, and becoming a doctor

2012-02-08T19:28:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I had a wonderfully random post. Today seems like a good day. Warning: this post may be a clear indicator of just how likely it is that I have Adult ADD.

Snow. Hello winter! How nice of you to stop by. Actually, I haven't missed you a bit. In fact, few people have. You're kind of like that scarey aunt who everyone's favorite uncle is married to. We only put up with you because we have too.

I may need one of these shirts. It's part of the I hate balls promotion. There is a video by Katherine Heigl that is soo funny. Stop gasping. It's not what you're thinking. It's meant to encourage fixing your pets. OMG it is a hoot. If you haven't watched it, you really should.

Ovens are a lunchlady's friend. I am having a little tift with the one in our kitchen, but more about that on Friday.

Once Upon A Time. Still love this show but blogging about it leaves little satisfaction. The posts are hardly read and a lot of work to write. When I try to link up with others they ask me not to. I'm not sure they will continue.

I've been obsessing over Gym Class Heros lately. This is one of my favorites. I like it even more when it shuffles into my iphone play mix inbetween things like Rhianna, Reba, GaGa, Travie McCoy, Lady Antebellum and Sara Bareilles. My music collection has ADD too.

This stupid Chuck E Cheese post remains one of my most popular. I am linking it here just so I can work the words Chuck E Cheese into another post.

I am almost done with my second book! I love the characters in it so much I'm not sure I want it to end.

I suffer from blog envy. There are often times when I want to stand up and say (clears throat) "WTF my blog is funny..why aren't you reading me!" and then I try to remind myself that I blog for me and not for them. Of course, that doesn't usually help much.

This post about why I'm not a doctor yet is clearly a lot funnier than the one about Chuck E. Cheese and let's be clear he's no closer than I am to becoming a doctor!

I've become one of those people: An open letter to myself.

2012-02-06T21:39:00.000-05:00

Dear Kisa,

Someone needs to tell you. You've become...dare i say it...a little negative.

Your having trouble seeing the positive. Lately, you're focusing a lot of your energy on things that you cannot change and not focusing enough of your energy on the things you can change.

You really need to stop.

People aren't going to want to hang out with you.

Repeat after me...

It is okay if some people completely ignore your texts. Perhaps they are trying to give you a hint. They just don't want to talk to you. Instead of feeling hurt, consider it a blessing. If they don't have enough time to text you, they really aren't worth your time.

True...your kids have been fighting a lot. Try to notice when they aren't fighting as much as you notice when they are fighting. I think you might be surprised that they are actually getting along more often than they are fighting.

Simply put, some things are just out of your control. School budget cuts, field trip costs, cafeteria management changes, PTO drama...the list can go on and on and on. You cannot fix it. No matter what you do.

No matter what you do.

And you know what? That's okay.

Work on your book more. Scrapbook more pictures. Braid your daughters' hair. Get your toenails painted.

Focus less on the things you cannot change and more on the things you can.

I know you can do it.

But you have to be willing to try.

Sincerely,

~Kisa~

Lesson from the Lunchlady: Stop peaing on that!

2012-02-03T15:20:00.000-05:00

This week in the cafeteria, I learned how to make chicken corn soup, i remembered how much I hate it when the custodian takes a personal day and I started to come to terms with my bosses soon-to-be a reality retirement.

I hate soup. If you know me even a little bit, this will nit surprise you. According to my co-workers, not eating soup is the equivalent of not wearing clothes. It's absurd. Everyone likes soup. Except me. Monday was chicken corn soup day. My boss always makes it but, as previously discussed, she is leaving (insert weeping). On Monday I learned how to make the soup. Here's hoping they'll be someone in the building left to taste it.

Why they are tiny balls of meat. My boss has served her children, her grandchildren and is now serving a great grandchild. This 2nd grader asked her what a meatball was. "Tiny balls of meat," she replied. "Tiny balls of meat." Then she began to ponder what children eat these days.

Did you pea on that? Lunch ladies, like everyone else, enjoy a little potty humor every now and again. Potty humor that messes with others is even better. We have some very young student teachers in the house and when my co-worker got peas all over a lid and I loudly announced in front of one of the student teachers that I really wish she'd stop peaing all over everything, her face was priceless.

I don't have to listen to you...you're a janitor! Say what? This is what a 2nd grader thought was a proper response when asked to stop doing what she was doing by our beloved custodian. She quickly learned that all adults in our building are worthy of respect.

A good evil laugh can make your day. I've talked a lot about my house mouse this week. My co-worker bust out in the world's best evil laugh while trying to explain what kind of deadly traps to get. It was sort of like this...

except with a hair net...

What did you learn this week?

An open letter to the mouse in our house: Part two

2012-02-02T16:55:00.001-05:00

Dear house mouse,

You are lucky that my son is an animal lover. You are lucky that my husband is flexible.

I told you yesterday that you were a goner.

I warned you that the lemon cookies were the last straw.

Then my son came home with a live trap. Catch and release.

And after five days of avoiding death in a snap trap, we caught you on the first try with the live trap.

My son was giddy with happiness.

He got dressed at 6:30 in the morning just so he could let you go. He went for a walk with Daddy and they let you go in a field.

Little G said, "Mom, he was so happy he was dancing!".

You better keep on dancing far away from those lemon cookies!

Best wishes, Mr. Mouse.

~kisa~

An Open letter to the mouse in my house

2012-02-01T22:18:00.001-05:00

Dear mouse,

I don't want to kill you, but unfortunately, you have overstayed your welcome. You have eaten the lemon cookies. I don't know if you are aware of this, but I love lemon cookies and now you have tanted them.

I don't know if you walked all over them looking for the most lemony one. I don't know if you tasted a few before you picked one to gnaw on or what. Let's be clear...this grosses me out!

I HAD TO THROW THE LEMON COOKIES AWAY.

Because of this, I have decided that I now must kill you.

You, however, seem to be against this idea. In fact, you cleaned the peanut butter off of two traps and have yet to die.

Here's how I see it...this is your last chance. Pack up the family and get out of my house.

Tonight the traps are set with lemon cookies and I have a feelin that it might just be your last meal.

Sincerely,

Kisa

Tuesday Tribute: Please remind me who I really am

2012-01-31T07:24:00.001-05:00

I have been mocked numerous times for my love of all things Kelly Clarkson. I don't care. Mock me if you must, but I love her music.

My friend, B, & I have seen her multiple times and we'd go see her again if she were anywhere in PA tomorrow.

We drove about three hours to see her on Saturday and it was fantastic. I loved how she opened the show with a song off her new album called Dark Side. The gist of the song is that we all have a dark side and the question is that if once you know it, will you love the person anyway?

At the concert, the stage is draped with a sheer curtain. On the curtain are images projected of all the negative publicity Kelly has received over her decade long career. Kelly is Fat, Kelly has a makeup mishap, Kelly's album not up to par. The words are repeated over and over. As she belts out the lyrics from behind the sheer curtain, when she gets to the verse "please remind me who I really am" the drape disappears and the cheers from the crows erase all the negative comments.

Do you have someone who reminds you who you really are? Do you have someone who loves you even though they know about your dark side?

We all need someone to chase away our critics!

Once Upon A Time: Fruit of the Poisonious Tree

2012-01-30T06:48:00.001-05:00

I wasn't sure what to expect from this week's episode as I have yet to figure out how I feel about Sydney Glass.

In Storybrook, the episode opens with Henry trying to bury his beloved storybook at his play castle. Last week's storm apparently damaged the play area and when Regina find Emma and Henry there she blasts Emma for allowing him to play in such a dangerous area.

The foreshadowing begins when Regina tells Emma to not allow her feelings for Henry to cloud her judgment.

Regina whisks Henry off to see Doc Hopper and Emma runs into Sydney at the diner. He is drunk and says he can help her bring down the mayor. She takes his card but tells him to go home.

Apparently just to keep the ratings up, we briefly see Mary Margaret and David on a secret picnic. We are not certain how far their relationship has developed, but we know there is a lot of kissing and some wine involved.

Curiousity gets the better of Emma and she contacts Sydney to find out what dirt he has on the mayor. Together this dumb and dumber team manage to bug the mayor's office, follow her to the woods, get their breaks cut, learn that she bought land from Gold, break into her office and make fools out of themselves at the city council meeting.

They accuse Regina of stealing money from the city to build a house and she counters with no it's a safe playground. She bulldozed the other playground and Henry's book went AWOL earlier in the episode.

Seriously?

It looks like Regina wins again. Just when you think Sydney may not be a scoundrel, we learn that he is working on gaining Emma's trust so he can report his findings to Regina. Mirror, mirror, who's the most annoying of them all?

In Fairytale land...

We learn that mirror mirror was a genie in a lamp. Um...this was a stretch for me. When Snow's dad found him and imediately wished for his freedom, I was really concerned about this storyline,

When he gave him his wishes and Genie said that no good has ever come from any of the wishes he has granted I began to wonder if that too was some foreshadowing.

Snow's dad brings the newly freed genie home for diner and introduces him to snow and Regina. I thought it interesting that EQ is Regina in both storybrooke and fairytale land.

Regina knows immediately that the genie is in love with her. I think the king suspects. Genie give the queen a mirror so she can always see herself they way he sees her...as the fairest in the land.

The king finds her diary and it details the gift exchange. He asks the genie to find out who gave his wife the mirror. He locks Regina in he quarters. Regina's father gives the genie a box and asks him to deliver it to her.

It is filled with Agraba Vipers. One bite and you die. Sort of like an apple but different. She tells Genie that her father has sent them to allow her to escape to another life. He suggests that she live and the king die.

He takes the snakes to the kings quarters and releases them. He kills the man who set him free. The king dies wishing he never made that wish.

The genie is happy, but soon he comes to find out that the queen used him. She knew that since the snakes were from his homeland he would be blamed. He takes out his lamp and decides to use his last wish to keep them together.

Seriously? He told the king that no good has ever come from any wish he has ever granted. The king's wish was selfless yet he died by the genie's hand. Yet still the genie wishes to be able to see his love everyday.

Hence, he wishes himself into the mirror.

Very reflective.

The episode ends with Emma keeping her distance from Henry and the book of fairytales ending up in the hands of our mysterious Storybrooke visitor. This fact lends me to believe even more that perhaps he really is one of the Brothers Grimm.

Next week Emilie de Ravin joins the cast as Belle. Fellow Losties like myself will remember her as Claire! SO EXCITED to see the chemistry between Emilie and Robert Carlyle, who will be portraying a Rumplelized version of the Beast!

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Is there sausage in the sausage?

2012-01-27T17:07:00.001-05:00

This week there was laughter, forgetfulness, singing, dancing and downright silliness and I haven't even told you about the kids.

Here's what I learned.

There is such a thing as a free lunch. I've always been under the impression that there was no such thing as a free lunch but apparently we even offer coupons. I had no idea!

Changing lunch always causes confusion. Some of our students were exceptionally disappointed when they thought we were having popcorn chicken and it turned out we were having egg sandwiches. Um...which came first the chicken or the egg?

Cooking is a job requirement. It's always a little unnerving when you realize that lunch starts in 45 minutes and you have forgotten to make a major portion of it. It also makes you laugh...a lot.

pomegranate slushies make messes. Turns out deep purple slushy messes on spoons will make slasher streaks on the wall near the silverware chute. Sort of like a scene from CSI.

Is there sausage in this sausage? A third grader asked me if there was cooked sausage in his sausage link. I was somewhat confused by the question so he clarified, "Are these like the sausages you get at home where you just have to heat em up?" umm...yes. Our sausage linker is broken... :-)

Writer's Workshop: work vs. stay at home

2012-01-26T22:26:00.001-05:00

My oldest child will soon be thirteen, which continues to boggle my mind. She' on the far right in the picture above.

When we were expecting, my husband really wanted me to stay home after our baby arrived. I will be honest with you, I wasn't really excited about the idea. The thought of being alone all day long with an infant depending on me for her survival sounded terrifying. Little did I know that the infant part was the easy part.

We were 6 hours away from our closest family. My husband's mom stayed home throughout most of his childhood. My mom always worked. I don't remember her staying at home. I remember my grandmother caring for us until we were school aged.

I think if I would have actually liked my job, the decision may have been harder. I think if I had actually made enough money to justify childcare than perhaps I would have put up more of an argument, but alas I stopped working 4 days before I had my oldest.

The first month was ok. My hubby was off the first week. We were invaded by company and then they all left. Hubby went to work. Family returned home. Our infant seldom slept.

After about three months of complete isolation and lack of sleep I needed medication. Post pardom depression. My doctor also recommended a mother's group. I needed to get out and be with other mommies. I needed to stop the isolation.

Thirteen years later that mommy group spans multiple states. I still value the opinions of those women and there is little I wouldn't do for them.

During the decade I stayed home, I had my ups and I had my downs. What I came to understand is that it has to be your choice. I have friends who could not stay at home and that's okay. I have friends who still stay home and that's okay too.

I think we have to learn to respect each other enough to realize that this is a personal choice and can only be made by the person facing it.

Did you work or stay at home? Why?

Hump Day Craft Post: a disney project sneek peek

2012-01-25T21:56:00.001-05:00

I am working on a fun Disney project for a friend. Here are just a few things I've included. I am only about half way done...and having tons of fun!

Once Upon A Time: 7:15 a.m.

2012-01-24T07:50:00.001-05:00

This episode was significantly better than last weeks episode. It featured hotty pants Charming/James/David.

In Storybrooke,

More mystery swirls around the stranger. I was surprised that EQ/Regina didn't know who he was. Regina convinces Emma to investigate him for just being him. I actually loved the scene between her and the stranger at the dinner.

There was some chemistry between them and when he whipped out that typewritter and announced that he finds Storybrooke inspirational my heart leap a little perhaps he is one of the Grimm brothers.

MM spends her day stalking David. She starts at 7:15 at grannie's dinner just she can watch him by his wife coffee. OUCH. Thought it interesting that she was reading a Jules Verne book. Anyone see the title?

The theme of both episode Love Bites.

MM saves a bird that needs reunited with it's flock. On her way to make sure the bird is not alone forever, she slips down a cliff and gets trapped in a storm in a romantic cabin with David...um yikes.

Snow is not interested in sleeping with him...afterall she thinks his wife might be pregnant and apparently that is where she draws the line. The bird is reunited with its flock and both David and MM decide that they have got to stay away from each other.

In an effort to avoid each other they do not go to to the dinner at 7:15 but still end up there together 45 minutes later. LOVED the kiss. Sad that EQ was watching.

In fairytale land....

Snow is alone like the bird, seperated from her love. It was nice to see Red bringing her food. Charming/James is about to wed midas daughter Abigail/Katherine. Love seeing widmore in all his evil as the king.

There is lots of talk about the evils of love.

At one point Snow visits rumple who gives her a potion guaranteed to erase her memory...to make her forget about her love, about the pain of rejection, about it all. Of course, it's made with her hair and that grosses me out a little.

Rumple as always is creepy and wonderful. He keeps a little bit of her hair as payment which is slightly bothersome.

Snow gets a letter from James saying he needs her, he wants he but he doesnt really love her...no wait that's a Meatloaf song. He begs her to risk her life to come to the castle and see him.

Surprisingly, ok not really, she is captured and locked in the dungeon with Grumpy. I love Grumpy. He's the only one talking any sense this episode. He encourages Snow to embrace her pain because it makes her who she is.

Stealthy dwarf comes to rescue them and he isn't very stealthy. Grumpy helps Snow and then Stealthy gets killed and Grumpy gets captured. snow returns the favor and saves him.

The king lets Grumpy go and orders Snow to break James' heart. If not, he will kill him.

"you would kill your own son?" asks Snow.

"He is not my son," replies the king.

Ouch..always the twin that daddy didn't want.

Snow breaks James' heart and heads to the forest where she is greated by the tallest 7 dwarves EVAH. They become her new flock...she is no longer alone.

James can not forget her. He calls off the wedding. He looks for her where he thinks she maybe and Red says she never returned. He declares that he will find her. Grumpy excitedly announces to Snow that James called off the wedding.

Her response. "who?"

She has taken the potion given to her by Rumple.

Next week: Mirror Mirror who are you loyal to?

Lessons from the Lunchlady: I'll have a bananna hold the imabendazole, imazalil and myclobutanil

2012-01-21T08:32:00.001-05:00

I know what your thinking. How can she post a Lessons from the Lunchlady post when her district was on winter break and she only spent two days in the cafeteria?

To you I say, you've obviously never spent two days in the cafeteria.

That place is oozing with enlightenment. Oozing I say.

Bannanas need "preserved for quality". I know...i had no idea either but apparently imabendazole, imazalil and myclobutanil help with this process. And to think, all this time I've been buying them by the bunch and hanging them on a hook.

Caterpillar delight is a delight. We are celebrating various countries throughtout this month and the next few days are dedicated to Mambia. This meal was a challenge as they eat a lot of mice and bugs. Since we're not allowed to serve that we settled for pudding with oreos, graham cracker bugs and a gummy worm.

A birthday melody. Our famous custodian had a birthday over the winter break. There is nothing quite like the sound of grades of children attempting to sing happy birthday. It's the loudest most off pitch cha cha cha rendtion you will ever long to hear.

HS wrestlers have cheerleaders. When did wrestling become a sport cheerleaders attend. Did you have wrestling cheerleaders when you were in high school?

In the middle
of the mat
roll him over
pin him flat.

Really?

Bag lunch picnic style. We had a reading reward mid year party on Friday. As part of the party the kids all got a brown bag lunch and they got to eat on the floor. A first grader said, "Are we poor? Lunch in a bag and no tables?". A kindergartener said she was going to "Call 911 because eating on the floor was ridiculous." My favorite part about the picnic? My principal repeated reminding the kids not to set their food on the floor.

What did you learn this week?

Enjoying every minute is an unrealistic goal

2012-01-19T21:01:00.001-05:00

As I said in a previous post my in laws are staying with me for a few days.

I get along pretty well with both of them. But like all company, after three days we start to get on each others nerves. This usually results in my FIL sighing a lot and my MIL sleeping alot and me dragging wine to my room...by the bottle.

They have been a great help with the kids and they did give me an opportunity to sneak out for a much needed hair cut. My co-worker told me I looked liked Jesus so I figured it was about time for something...but that's a post for another day.

Here's the thing that drives me nuts. My MIL (along with countless others) is always telling me to "enjoy every minute because before I know it they'll be grown"

SPARE ME.

No one enjoys every minute of every day. If they say they do, they are lying.

In the last week my kids have slammed doors, over flowed two toilets, got oil pastels on the couch, spilt milk on the dog just when I didn't think he could smell worse, dumped a bottle of hot sauce, fought with each other and shattered two glasses.

I didn't enjoy much of that.

Of course, they've also shown great compassion for each other, helped me fix the toilets, laughed with me at the milk covered dog, hugged me, shared with me their worries and their hopes, and most importantly put some of the freakin groceries away.

I enjoyed that. Especially the groceries.

Recently I read this post and I think it sums up what I'm trying to explain to my MIL.

Like me, she didn't enjoy every minute. She enjoyed being a parent and maybe now she misses being needed. That's understandable.

But telling someone knee deep in garbage covered in coffee grinds who is looking for that one piece of paper that came home from school a week ago that they should enjoy their kids while they are young isn't helpful.

And never will be.

Hump Day Craft Post: Birthday book

2012-01-18T18:21:00.000-05:00

I am trying to get some scrappin' done. I can spend hours in my craft room and not think of anything except what I want the next page to look like. My son's birthday book is a couple birthdays behind.

Here is a slide show of his 6th birthday. We had a Tom & Jerry theme. I don't like to post pics of other people's children without their permission so the faces of the children that aren't mine have been removed.

Makes the entire thing look a little creepy...doesn't it. LOL

Now if I can find the time to scrap year seven and eight, I'll be caught up for a few short months.

What projects have you been working on lately?

It's hard to be funny when you feel like crap

2012-01-17T16:19:00.001-05:00

(clears throat attempts to stand but realizes it isn't worth it) It's official, I am SICK. It takes a lot for me to admit that.

It started Saturday with my inability to swallow and progressed from there. Now I am convinced that my head weighs approximately 30 pounds and this extra weight is not distrubted equally.

I broke down and sought medically treatment, not just because my husband is out of the country, not just because we are on a three day winter break from school and I am considering eating my young, not just because my inlaws are living with me for the week, not just because the freakin' toilets won't stop overflowing, not just because the beagle is clearly depressed, but mostly because it was either see the doctor or remove my ear with a can opener.

The later seemed messy and I'd likely have to clean it up so I opted for the doctor.

I have medication for my ear infection/sinus infection.

I am told that I will feel significantly better in 48 hours.

Just in time to return to work.

So much for winter break.

Once Upon A Time: True North

2012-01-16T08:08:00.001-05:00

Tonight's episode centers around the two stupidest kids ever written about and that's saying a lot...I mean I've read the Twilight series.

In Fairytale land..

Gretel and Hansel are helping their dad chop down a tree for some fireword. He gives Gretel a compass and says "a family always needs to find one another". Then he promptly gets lost.

Who should find the twins? You guessed it...the evil queen wearing one of the most fantastic hats EVAH.

After showing off with some magic and just generally rubbing everyone the wrong way, EQ tells the children she will help them find their daddy..but first they must help her.

Red flag!

I mean she just disappeared, reappeared and had the tree roots hold you down. What could she possibly need your help with?

Dumb and Dumber agree to wait until night to steal a satchel away from the blind witch. Seriously? Why do you gotta wait till night? She's blind!

EQ reminds them to eat NOTHING.

Now I ask you if a evil magic queen told you that you needed to steal a satchel for her if you ever wanted to see your father again and that as long as you didn't eat anything all would go well...would you eat a freakin' cupcake? I think not.

Guess what Hansel did?

They both get busted by the blind witch and she just can't wait to eat them. Personally, I was rooting for the witch mostly because Hansel's hat was oh-so-annoying.

The brats escape and shove the witch into her own oven. They return the satchel to the queen. Inside it...an apple. I'm surprised Hansel made it all the way to the castle without eating it.

The queen rewards them. She offers them riches beyond their imagination. Their own rooms. Their own servants. But, alas, all they want is their father. EQ is notibly annoyed and covers them in black smoke and sends them to a land far far away.

When the guards fetch dearest dad from the dugeon she asks him why his children picked him over her. "because we're family and family always finds one another.". She sends him to far far farther away land and says "have fun looking"

Meanwhile...back in Storybrooke.

Henry runs into Ava and Nicholas Zimmer aka Hansel and Gretel who promptly set him up to be arrested for shoplifting. Let's be clear--that doesnt look good when your "mom" is the mayor and your mom is the sheriff.

Turns out Ava and Nicholas are homeless and do their best to trick Emma who doesnt fall for it. Instead she takes them to Mary Margaret's appt. with her. I mean that seems like a bit of an overstep. I really hate when my house guest brings in stray cats let alone stray kids.

Emma, who continues to be delusional, is determined to locate their father. Ava says maybe this will help and gives her a compass. Um...weird.

Emma takes the compass to Gold/Rumple and he knows exactly who bought it. Michael Zimmer. Twelve years ago and he found that information in 2 minutes. Perhaps Rumple should work for the government.

Turns out he's the towns only mechanic and he's not a big fan of children. He suggests she take them to boston and seperate them. "I know nothing about being a father."

Emma feels sad so when Henry asks her about his father she tells him that he was a heroic fireman who died saving others. (she later admits to Snow that she made that up.)

The Mayor is pushing for Ava and Nicholas to go to Boston. And just when it looks like Emma is headed to Boston with those kids and her tail between her legs, she fakes an engine breakdown and calls the only Mechanic in town.

Their father.

He decides to keep em.

When Emma returns she tells Snow that she is excited that daddy had a change of heart. She wonders why it only took 20 minutes to find their dad and she can't find hers in 30 years.

She tells MM/snow that Henry thinks she is her mother. Snow jokes about her having Snow's chin.

Back outside on Sheriff patrol, Henry brings Emma a slice of pumpkin and they get a first hand view of the sexy new stranger who arrived in town on a motorcycle. Hmmmm....who could it be?

A new love interest or the big bad wolf whom ironically the Sheriff sent right to Grannie's house.

Next week Charming returns and I am sooo happy,

Lessons from the lunchlady: stop acting like a jackass...penguin

2012-01-13T16:59:00.001-05:00

This week was five long days of pure fanfreakintastic joy. If I had a sarcasm font, that first sentence would be written in all CAPS.

Here is what I learned....

I suck at math. Wait...I actually already knew this. I had a small (OK...large) mathematical error while in charge on Friday and managed to make enough pizza to serve the entire building.

Budgets can cause depression. The nutrition and maintenance staff had a budget meeting with our adminstration. Words like grave, bleak and dismal were repeated often. I left feeling deflated.

Retirement is a four letter word. It looks like my freakin awesome boss is gonna retire. I feel sad just thinking about it. Who's gonna run the kitchen? Keep in mind that I am most likely incompetent. Reread story about pizza.

Jackass (penguin) is not a cuss word. Aparently the jackass penguin was a topic of discussion regarding one of the countries we are learning about this month. It is important to keep in mind that one can only say Jackass if you are using it with the word penguin. This is especially important to remember on the school bus.

Walkins and breakdowns. I believe that the walk-in cooler is a great place to have a screaming kicking breakdown and I am considering offering this service to staff for a nominal fee. It is just one of my many out of the box ideas that has the potential to raise A LOT of money for the district.

Return breakdowns are double the charge.

What did you learn this week?

An open letter to the tooth fairy

2012-01-12T19:29:00.001-05:00

Dear Toothfairy,

Let me be blunt...we are not friends. Now that this is out in the open, I feel as if I can again share with you some of your annoying qualities.

You are, by far, the most forgetful fairy I have never met. Have you heard of B12? It's supposed to help memory...oh wait...maybe it helps digestion. Either way, you should seek medical advice for your inability to ever remember to visit my children.

This isn't something new. We've been discussing this a lot and quite frankly I am tired of it.

Consider this my official grievance. I am requesting an official hearing.

Also part of the grievance...you apparently give more money to wealthy children. Really? This seems a little bassakwards. How come some kids get $20 for a tooth. If that's the going rate, I have a few molars I could probably part with.

You need to knock this off...I might start a Facebook group. Down with the toothfairy...or the toothfairy plays favorites...or Dollars for Molars.

Let's set some price guides. $5 for a first tooth or a molar; $2-3 for anything else. Lord have mercy, if it has a cavity perhaps you could leave just a buck and maybe some toothpaste.

In conclusion, set more than one alarm and stop trying to overcompensate with large quantities of money. Afterall, you have never brought more than a $5 here and it's usually at least a day late.

Sincerely,

Kisa

NaNoWriMo: 40 days later

2012-01-10T22:06:00.001-05:00

It's been 40 days since NaNoWriMo and I thought it was a good time to update you all on my progress or lack their of.

Sadly, I did not reach my goal of 50,000 words in the month of December. I did flesh out about 25,000 words and since then have added a measly 5,000.

Let's face it...I write much better under deadline.

After having a few new people read my Nano Novel from last year, I have had new life breathed into me and I can no longer drowned out the voices of my new novel. They are nagging me to get their story down and I have fallen deeply in love with my protagonist.

She is such a beautiful young adult...faced with a tough life and a lot of teen drama, she shines.

My goal is to have a rough draft complete by February 15th.

I guess I need to set my own deadlines.

Once Upon a Time: Desperate Souls

2012-01-09T22:55:00.001-05:00

After being on hiatus for the last few weeks, OUAT returned with a thought provoking episode last night featuring a little more information on the creepy Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold.

So it turns out that our fine evil villain was a cowardly father before gripped by dark forces.

In a clever touch we learn that he fled from battle and that many of his fellow soldiers were lost. For a brief moment, when an arrogant knight requires Rumple to kiss his shoe (in front on his own child) I sort of felt bad for him. But alas, soon the true Rumple returned and I was free to dislike him again.

After being taunted and kick by the knight, an old beggar approaches him and offers help. The beggar tells him of the great dagger just hanging unguarded in the castle that should he steal would bring to him the power of the Dark Lord.

i don't know about you guys but this all sounds a little creepy to me. I mean hasn't he ever heard of Beauty and the Beast. Don't upset the beggars...man.

Wanting to...I don't know...be in charge of all things evil, Rumple decides that stealing this dagger sounds like a good idea. His son, Bellfire, doesn't necessary agree but he's 13 and well...fire is cool.

But there's more....says the beggar. Of course there is. Should Rumple not only steal the dagger but then summon the Dark Lord and kill him then he, himself, will become the all powerful Lord. Um..okay but then I guess you better guard that dagger because apparently whoever steals it is your master.

Father and son skip off into the forest to set fire to the Duke's quarters. Bell gets a little frightened and scampers back home. Meanwhile, the unguarded dagger is now in Rumples hand. All he has to do is call the Dark Lord and run him through.

Um...here's the twist. The Dark Lord is the beggar. Oh crap. Can you say Set Up? The Beggar in his dying breath says, "I know how to recognize a desperate soul." He also blabs something about all magic having a price.

When Rumple returns home, he kills many men including the knight who humiliated him. Bellfire is not impressed. In fact, he is terrified of his father and likely wants nothing to do with him. OUCH.

Meanwhile in Storybrooke.

We are all still mourning our beloved hotty pants sheriff Graham. Apparently when you are dead for two weeks in Maine, you are replaced by the next in command. Unless the mayor fires you.

Oh wait. Mr. Gold/Rumple to the rescue. He found some random loophole in the town charter that says the Mayor can't randomly pick the man in the mirror as your replacement. There's got to be an election.

Wait...wait...wait. So she's the evil queen, she crushes peoples hopes and dreams, she steals true love away from Snow, she manipulates Red and Granny and she breaks a man's heart with her bare palm but she doesn't know how to circumvent a town charter? Are you serious?

Anywho...Sydney Glass (oh how I love his name) aka Mirror Mirror has to run again Emma Swan. Long time resident against that new girl. Should be an easy win for the mayor.

But alas, Emma starts to pull ahead when she saves the mayor from a fire. She's the town hero and everyone loves the town hero. Hell...people around here would vote for a dog if it pulled someone from a fire.

Turns out it was all a set up - by none other than Gold.

Best line: Gold to Emma "Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more."

So trying to prove to Henry that Good can beat Evil, Emma announces at the worst debate ever televised that didn't feature Rick Santorum, that she is no hero. That Mr. Gold is an ass and that he plays with sheep fat and likes to set fires.

Of course since she has no proof, she is arrested and Mirror Mirror wins. Oh wait...no that didn't happen. Everyone voted for her because they hate Mr. Gold more than they hate the mayor and anyone who tattles on Mr. Gold is a friend of theirs.

Of course there has to be a twist...and like the beggar Gold tells Emma that he knew should would denounce him and that he brilliantly planned it all because he can recognize a desperate soul.

"I want you in an office of power for when I cash in that favor you owe me."

hmm...I hope it doesn't involve stealing a dagger. Because if it does, she should just say pass.

Next week...Hansel and Gretel. What's not to love about a witch that eats kids.

Lessons from the lunchlady: you won an estrogen class!

2012-01-07T10:18:00.001-05:00

This week was only four days long but it felt like 40. Here's what I learned the first week back in 2012.

New clothes. If you (or Santa) bring your children summer clothes for Christmas they will wear them even if it is 18 degrees outside. I thought I saw a second grader in a swimsuit but it was just a beaded glamour cami. OMG!

Extra gym class. When one of our first grade class won an extra gym class and it was announced over the intercome one of the maintenance guys asked me if they just won an "estrogen" class. You're laughing because they really do sound so similiar.

Jellyfish. All the wasted food comes back to the dishroom and travels down to the garbage disposal. Sometimes it gets a little backed up. At one point, I could have sworn there was a jellyfish floating in that river of half eaten proccessed food. Alas, it was frozen apple juice.

Old is in the eye of the beholder. I wished a 7 year old a happy birthday this week and asked her if she felt old. Her response. "Not really. My grandma is 52 and she is still alive!". Great. Now I feel old.

Retirement should be a four letter word. My boss keeps tossing this idea around. It feels like she is kicking me everytime she says it. Here's hoping things take a turn in a different direction.

What did you learn this week?

The best (Blgg Posts) of 2011, part 2

2012-01-05T14:30:00.001-05:00

Continuing with what we started here I am finishing up my favorite blog posts of 2011.

In July,

We had tons of fun at our first book club, we went boating with some great friends, and we celebrated my birthday by learning a ton of things at the lake. I started a new blog column call Poolside Perspective, I shared with the seven things I learned from Harry Potter and we talked about all the things I (GASP) missed about school.

In August:

We went to the ALS walk and enjoyed a rainy day with some family, we spent another rainy day at Hershey and we enjoyed a visit from my sister and her family. On the blog I shared 10 things I wish someone had told me about blogging,I wrote a tribute to a teacher I had in 7th grade, and we concluded our poolside education

In September

We suffered through a lot of rain, helped a friend dig out her basement and went to my cousin's wedding. I blogged about my apathy towards fundraising and how a chipmunk once took a bite out of me and the tree types of parents

In October

We celebrated Little G's 8th birthday, we had a grown up day at the PA ren fair where we party like rock stars in the rain. I wrote a eulogy to our hermit crab and an open letter to my son and share with all of you a few things you shouldn't buy at the dollar store

In November

We had Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house in North Carolina, we went to see the Muppet and I took oldest out for her first time of Black Friday shopping. I blogged about some FAQ about me and I shared my thoughts on the Penn State scandal On a much lighter note, we talked about the importance of checking yourself

In December

In December we celebrated Christmas for a VERY. LONG. TIME, we went to quite a few holiday concerts and we danced in the new year with some great friends. I shared a sneak peak of a cute craft and wrote this open letter to my middle daughter. I also wrote a tribute to the big guy...Santa Claus.

Hump Day Craft post: a thank you

2012-01-04T22:44:00.001-05:00

Sharing with you a simple card I made to thank some coworkers for their thoughfulness.

I don't remember who makes the turtle stamp, but I just love him. The green cardstock is embossed with the dots cuttlebug folder. Ribbon is from Michaels. He was colored with copic markers.

Thanks for stopping by.

The Best (Blog Posts) of 2011: Part One

2012-01-03T05:00:00.000-05:00

Everyone else is making the list of the Best of 2011 so why can't I? I hope you'll take some time to click back and chuckle along with me at some of my favorite post of 2011. If you like me, why not share me with your FaceBook buddies. You can tell them I'm funny , sincere and a little crazy...

In January

We went snow tubing and survived, we kept the house from burning down while Daddy was in Asia for the MONTH and we spent time in North Carolina. I blogged about finding out my son is Jewish, I shared a disturbing furniture commercial and I wrote an open letter to the worst mail carrier in the world.

In February

We celebrated Oldest G's birthday by spending the night at a local water park. It was a lot of fun! We also spent A LOT of hours at a Blue and White banquet and were dumped on by Mother Nature. I asked about your inner circle, I wrote an open letter to my 12 year old, and I shared another amazing lesson in this Lessons from the Lunchlady post.

In March

We traveled to North Carolina for the Juvenile Diabetes Walk, we partied like it was 1972 and we attended our middle daughter's spring concert. I blogged about odd things people find offensive, and I shared my thoughts on the new car seat regulations and I found out that I'm not not smarter than a 1st grader

In April

We focused on Easter. We colored some eggs, we had an egg hunt and we spent countless hours at a Pine Wood Derby. I blogged about all the things I love about each of my jobs. I wrote this about Lunch Lady Land, as well as this. Then I wrote about all the things I like about reporting. But my favorite post has to be about becoming intimately involved with the bus driver

In May

We took pictures with the Mother's Day tree, we went to a ciriculum fair and we played tball and a few of us lost teeth. Some of those teeth are yet to come in... I blogged about teacher appreciation day and I shared my fifteen minutes of fame and I wrote a disertation about the reasons why I'm not yet a doctor

In June

We all got groovy at Middle Gs birthday party, Little G became a pirate, I survived our camping trip and we went to Hershey in the rain. I wrote a story about how an inflatable bounce house kicked my ass, I shared an open letter to my middle daughter and I shared the many reasons why I failed my parenting class

I hope at least a few of these made you chuckle, perhaps shed a tear and, of course, truly laugh out loud. Come back Thursday for the second half.

Thanks for visiting!

Christmas by the numbers: 2011

2012-01-02T05:00:00.000-05:00

It has become a sort of tradition around this here blog to post Christmas By the Numbers. The post is an attempt at a non-boring holiday recap that can be laughed at by my children once they are grown.

Regular readers will recall the when we do Christmas, we DO Christmas. Months, weeks and days worth of Christmas. It feels like it never ends and every year I wonder the same thing..."Why do I do this?"

Just when I become convinced that my mostly ungrateful children will soon expect a present from the waitress at the All-You-Can-Eat pancake buffet...it thankfully ends.

Number of Christmas celebrations: 6

Number of times I had to remind my kids to say Thanks: 534

Number of times I won BINGO: 5

It's starts at my Aunt's house. The gathering used to be much larger, but most of my cousins don't come anymore. It's still a fun time. We have a pot luck and we play cheesy holiday games for cheesy holiday prizes, which is always a hoot.

Of course, my kids end up with LOTs of random things.

I must admit, the kids are actually starting to look forward to going and I really have nothing to complain about.

This year we also attended my husband's holiday work party. It was at a local hotel conference room and they had build-a-bear show up there. They also had brunch and free Santa pics.

Number of times my kids whined: 67

Number of times my kids laughed: 154

Number of times my kids fought with each other: 6,457

My mom, her husband and my grandmother came to visit, bringing gifts on the 23rd. They spent one night at the house. We went to family church service. My grandma was amazed by all the "new fangled gizmos" What was the gizmo, you ask? A glow stick.

Number of times my mom asked if her cookie making was annoying: 8

Number of times my grandma's childhood friend made me smile: 5

Number of chairs my mom bought for us: 2

Number of chairs in the boxes: 4

Number of pictures of me with my great-grandmother: 0

Number of pictures of my kids with their great-grandparents: more than 100

Mandatory Sad-Sock-Face pictures: 5

Time my kids got up Christmas Day: 4:55 a.m.

Time they started fighting: 5:43

Time I took my first nap: 7:30

After our very early Christmas morning celebration, the next day we headed three hours west to visit with more family. The celebrations continued!

We had Christmas dinner at my in laws house. We were joined by our cousins.

It is always fun when we get together. Loud...but fun. After dinner and clean up (no dishwasher) we opened presents. Little G. was tickled with his Hex Bug Hive. He got a lot of enjoyment out of that gift.

number of dishes I washed: 0

Number of dishes I put away in the wrong spot: 8

Number of times one of the kids cried: 5

Number of Advil I needed: 6

Best part of being at my dad's for our final Christmas of the season? Shaking up dinner. We decided to have Japanese for supper. Nothing like a little California roll to ring in the season.

Number of Redneck wine glasses I got: 3

Number of laughs I got from those glasses: countless

Number of times my son complained about his learning laptop: 5

(He doesn't like presents that "make him learn") LOL

Number of days I waited once we returned to take down the tree: 1

Goodbye Christmas 2011. You were very good to us, even though you did overstay your welcome.

Lessons from the lunchlady: three piles of vomit, two kinds of chicken and a little white lie

2011-12-23T22:48:00.001-05:00

It's time for the holiday break but before we settle down let's review what we learned during what felt like an incredibly long week.

Vomit is not on my Christmas list. Breakfast started like usual when at 8:25 a third grader announced in line that he felt like he was going to vomit. Run! I promptly instructed. Good news = no vomit in the milk cooler. Bad news = vomit in the cafeteria, in the trash and down the hall.

Santa has a skinny beard. I was wearing a shirt similar to this

and all the kiddos kept asking me why my beard was so skinny. After a few grades, I just stopped trying to explain that was my coat not my beard.

Christmas brings out the cheese sandwich in some. This one is a shout out to all the parents that think the holiday break means they don't have to provide any lunch money the month of December. Um...you suck!

The good gifts are free. Looking for a last minute gift idea? How about a hand-written note (spelling errors and all) telling them how much they are appreciated. A 2nd grader put one in my lunchroom stocking this week wishing me and the rest of the "caftera" staff a Merry Christmas.

Sometimes a little "lie" isn't so bad. A little kindergartner on her way out of the lunch line couldn't wait to tell me that she saw me at her dance recitial. Her teacher overheard the entire conversation.

"I saw you at my dance," she said, with much excitement "Did you see me there?"

"Oh yes!" I said, without hesitation. "You looked beautiful and did a wonderful job."

She walked away smiling from ear to ear.

Her teacher asked if my girls were in dance and if that is why I was there.

I just shrugged and said, "I have no idea what she is talking about I haven't been to a dance recitial in years."

What did you learn this week?

A flashback: Christmas Past

2011-12-22T20:08:00.001-05:00

Mama Kat challenged us to post some past Christmas pics.

I have to admit that I had a lot of fun looking back through some of my old scrapbooks.

This one is Big G and Middle G in 2001. It is Middle G's first Christmas.

Um...i think Santa needs to SUPPORT Little G's neck. I'm sure if he was my first child I would have bull rushed Santa. Since Little G was a third I actually paid for this photo.

What a difference a year makes. 2004 Little G went from helpless blob to smiling toddler.

2005. It looks like we may actually be at the North Pole in this picture.

Girls are happy and Little G looks like he's being kidnapped! Is it just me or does Santa look like an ass?

Awe....this is one of my favorites. 2007. Little G is 4, middle G is 6 and oldest is 8.

Everyone looks cute and I am pretty sure THAT is the real Santa.

Seems like I blinked and we went from the above to this.

I guess we're all still cute. Santa looks a little tired though.

An open letter to my middle daughter

2011-12-21T16:12:00.001-05:00

Dear Middle G,

As parents, we take certain things for granted. We expect our kids to wake up every morning even though we know not everyone's kid is waking up.

We expect them to arrive safely at school even though we know that not everyone's child will arrive safely at school.

While we realize that not all days will be great days, we expect to hear about them in great length the next time we see each other.

We always expect to see each other.

While I realize that everyday bad thing happen to unexpecting people, I continue to hope and pray they will not happen to me.

Yesterday you woke up. You made it safely to school and then you choked at lunch on a dorito. No one but your friend L noticed. Thankfully she was able to help you dislodge the chip that was making breathing difficult.

You excitedly told me about the incident and how sore your throat was when you made it safely home.

You made it home safely.

Unlike this little boy who just weeks before choked in the school cafeteria on a meatball.

Our stories aren't that different. Except the ending.

We all expect to out live our children even though we know that not all of us do.

Counting my blessings,

~kisa~

Tuesday Tribute: Santa Claus

2011-12-20T22:16:00.001-05:00

In keeping with my Christmas theme, I decided to write a tribute post to Santa. The red-suited-white-beared-bringer-of-the-best-presents-guy we all love.

Dear Santa,

I want to take this opportunity to applaud you as our Christmas hero. It seems that you always bring the best gifts. Never the necessities like clothing and toothpaste. Seems you specialize in those hard to find gifts, usually made in China.

Really, Santa? I thought you would be above outsourcing.

But, I digress. Thanks for eating all the cookies. i mean, what is up with that? Don't you get sick of cookies by your seventh stop?

I bet you wouldn't even notice if I didn't leave you

In all seriousness, we are grateful for your generosity. We are thankful for your thoughtfulness and we are amazed by your timeliness, we still have no idea how you travel around the world in a day.

Santa, thank you for reminding us just how much we should be thankful for and for reminding us what the true meaning of Christmas is.

It's not really about you, afterall.

Safe travels, my friend.

-kisa-

Let's talk about Christmas, shall we

2011-12-19T19:00:00.002-05:00

If you stopped over looking for a OUAT review, then you're likely disappointed. OUAT is on hiatus until January 8th. My witty reviews of that show will return once the reruns stop.

In the meantime, since you're hear, let's talk about Christmas.

Do you have a nativity and if you do is baby Jesus on display? Um...I never really thought about concealing baby Jesus until Christmas Day, but apparently this is a tradition that many people hold dear. So I'm dying to know, is there a Jesus in your stable right now?

How many gifts does Santa bring to your house? Santa brings three gifts to each of our children. Baby Jesus got three gifts from the wise men and that is what Santa brings here. The rest of the stuff, odds and ends, is from mom and dad.

Does your elf on the shelf move every day? As I blogged about before my kids think our elf is dead and I am wondering if your elf forgets to move. If you have one of those over-achieving elves that bakes cookies and reads books, please refrain from commenting.

Do you send out holiday cards? Seems that each year I get less and less Christmas cards and for some reason it sort of feels like a Facebook unfriend. Are you still sending or have you stopped long ago?

Do you include a "brag letter" in your cards? I have been mocked by my family for many years for including what they call a "Jan Letter". Let me explain. When we were all much younger my mom's cousin Jan used to include an update of sorts in her card. Her letter would read "My 14 year old just received her doctorate and has been asked to perform ballet in Australia." Whether or not that was true, I couldn't say. My update on the other hand says things like, "Oldest G is almost 13 and plays the clarinet when we force her to." Totally different.

What is your least favorite Christmas song? What is your favorite? Okay I have a lot of Christmas songs that I DO NOT LIKE. Gasp! The one I hate the most is The Christmas Shoes. Seriously? You need to buy shoes for your dying mother. As if the song wasn't bad enough they made it into a Lifetime movie. I also dislike anything sung by Michael Bolton....oh and Ave Maria.

One of my favorite song. Is The Ballad of the Christmas Donkey by Ed Ames as it reminds me of happy times in my childhood when my mom and dad were still together. Also, I love any song sung by the muppets as long as they aren't singing with Michael Bolton.

Lessons from the Lunchlady: oh stuffing balls, oh stuffing balls...it's Christmas dinner in the kitchen

2011-12-16T16:37:00.001-05:00

This week was full of stuffing balls, turkey hats and lots of laughter.

Sometimes I have so much fun at work that it ought to be illegal and other days I think what they pay me to show up there oughta be illegal.

Here's what I learned...

Kids dont't eat stuffing balls and corn. Actually, I didn't learn this. I already knew it. It is painful watching all the food we disgard going down the garbage disposal.

It hard to look this good. I know. I look like a royal dork, but I had a lot of fun asking co-workers if they wanted to touch my bird and poking people with my drumsticks. Next year I think I may have to add red ribbons. This turkey needs some dressing.

What's up with those lights? My co-worker and I are convinced that they're a little "cheeky". Does it look like someone's mooning you?

Slow Christmas songs make me sleepy. My boss has been playing holiday music since the week before Thanksgiving. I am covinced that the DJs are sick of the holiday song loop and are playing things in a row just to be annoying. Like Ave Maria, Blue Christmas, oh Holy Night and anything by Michael Bolton.

Cheesy broccoli and alfredo noodles. This combination all over the trays makes one long for...dare I say it...stuffing balls. Turns out there are lots of meals that are worse cleanup than the holiday meals.

Five more days until Christmas break. One of them is PJ day, which might be my all time favorite day of the year.

What did you learn this week?

Hump Day Craft Post: Tighten your belt, Santa!

2011-12-14T20:04:00.001-05:00

I used to make my Christmas Cards every year. Then I started to rotate with a picture card one year and a homemade card the following year.

Surprisingly, people actually noticed when I didn't make a card. My sister often mocks them and I have threaten to send her one of those free Holiday cards you get in the mail from Easter Seals.

The handmade card is back this year by popular demand. I have all 80 of them cut but I need to assemble them and the task seems a little overwhelming but I am determined to mail them come Monday....ok...maybe Tuesday.

Once Upon A Time: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

2011-12-12T22:14:00.001-05:00

This week's episode left my head spinning and me begging for more. Unfortunately OUAT isnt't storming back until January 8th. This allows all of you not yet watching ample time to catch up.

This week's episode finally confirmed that our hot sheriff is, indeed, the Huntsman from the Snow White saga.

In Storybrooke, Graham wrestles with the fact that while he feels nothing for Regina he keeps sleeping with her. I was trying to feel bad for him but, alas, I could not. He's drunk, he's running a fever and he decides to kiss Emma.

Wow...I was surprised she didn't deck him. I mean nothing says romance like whiskey and the flu. Since we all know that in fairytale land kisses are powerful enough to bring back the dead it comes as no surprise to us that when Graham kisses Emma he has a flashback.

There's a wolf with a black eye and a red eye. He is hunting and crying and looking cuter than ever. Needless to say, this freaks him out a little so he decides to ~~go home, take some meds and go to bed~~ go bang Regina.

And they say woman are hard to figure out. Spare me.

Even with Regina, Graham continues to remember. He sees Snow. He sees a knife. He wonders if he has ever hurt her. He becomes increasingly upset and leaves Regina's bed, but not before telling her that he is having flashes of wolves and deer and knives.

He follows the wolf to the woods again but is abruptly interupted but Rumple who is apparently "gardening" in the forest with a shovel. Um...that sounds like an episode of Desperate Housewives.

Having lost the wolf he heads to the school where Mary Margaret, pure as the white snow, is still trying to figure out what happened with Dr. Whale. So glad we didn't have to witness that one-night-stand as I think those two have as much on-screen chemistry as Bette Midler and Denzel Washington.

Graham asks how they met. She does not recall. He asks if he has ever hurt her. She says of course not. He has a fever. She suggests bed. He asks her if she believes in other lives (LOST shoutout). She accuses him of sounding like Henry. He goes to see Master Mills.

Henry tells Graham that he is remembering his life as the Huntsman. He tells Graham that while he spared Snow White, the Evil Queen was not as kind to him. She ripped out his heart and locked it in a bank vault???

We flash to fairytale land, where the Huntsman who loves the animals is being preyed upon by the evil queen. She has just killed Snows father. She wants Snow to follow. She wants the Huntsman to kill her. "My prey is beloved by all the kingdom" she says.

Graham agrees but only under the condition that all hunting of wolves will cease and since we know that people who hire others to cut the hearts out of their step-daughters are trustworthy, he agrees.

Snow fights back. She spots his deception. She flees. She takes time to compose a manefesto. He is moved by what she writes. He lets her live and returns to the queen with the heart of a stag.

The queen is not impressed. She is not fooled. She makes the huntsman read Snows letter aloud. We learn that Snow knows that the queen has killed her father and Snow is willing to die for the cause too. Snow writes, “I understand you will never have love in your life because of me" We are not sure what this means.

The Evil Queen tells the man in the mirror that other people “don’t know the wretchedness inside” Snow White. But Snow herself has alluded in a previous episode that she has wronged the queen.

At one point the Queen tells the huntsman, "I shared a secret with her, and she couldn’t keep it. That betrayal cost me dearly." Shortly after telling him that, she rips his dog toy like heart out from his chest and puts it in her creepy bank vault. She tells the huntsman he will now be her pet and orders the guards to take him to her bed chambers.

Meanwhile back in Storybrooke...

Graham is more and more convinced that he is like the tin man and must find his heart. Emma conveniently appears and they find the mausolium of Henry Mills Sr. He is convinced his heart is inside, but he finds his heart outside when he tells Regina to bite it. She decks Emma who fires back. Fan.tas.tic! Loved the fight scene.

They walk off into the sunset and ~~live happily ever after~~ head back to the sheriff's office. Regina heads to the "bank" vault which is conveniently located under her father's grave.

Emma and Graham share another kiss and he remembers even more! He goes to kiss her again. Flash to Regina...she holds Grahams heart in her hand. Flash to Graham..."I remember." Flash to Regina as she crushes Graham's heart to dust. Flash to Graham as he collaspes to the floor.

DEAD.

OMG!

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Are you giving me the bird?

2011-12-09T16:15:00.001-05:00

Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat...please put a penny in the old man.s hat! Um...there is something in the air and I'm blaming it on the fat guy in the red suit. He has a habit of winding kids up.

Here's what I learned:

Not all pears are created equal. Dear Harvest of Eden Pear Provider...your pears suck. I wouldn't feed them to elementary kids even if they were the only pears left on the planet. They are canned far to early. They are not ripe. They have brown bumps all over them. What are those brown bumps. If there really is an Eden at your company, can you have her call me. We need to talk pears.

Hot or Cold Veggies. I have lamented numerous times about offering veggie choices. It is time consuming and wasteful. This week corn was kicking salad's arse. I made it through most of kindergarten before I realized that they thought I was saying POPcorn instead of HOT corn.

Do you hear what I hear? I got my co-worker an elf hat with a bell on the end. It entertained her the entire day and her constant jingling made me laugh. Of course, it was even better when she would inadvertently hit herself in the face with the bell. Now. that. is. funny.

Stuffing balls. Next week is our dreaded Holiday Meal. A big mess that goes down the garbage disposal. In fact, I may videotape some of that waste. In order to make the day a little more fun I bought myself a new hat. Can you guess what we are having? My hat is kind of like giving everyone the bird. LOL

Holiday parties. We had our annual Child Nutrition Department Staff Holiday Party this week. It was so much easier when I could call that the Lunch lady Christmas Party and then we had to hire some lunch men. Some how the party went from a sit down chicken dinner to a pizza party at the middle school. The menu was a little lame, but I laughed a lot. Don't tell anyone, but I can have fun pretty much anywhere.

What did you learn this week?

An open letter to a bloggy buddy that I miss

2011-12-08T21:38:00.001-05:00

Dear Alokoli,

I miss you.

I miss your poems.I miss your pictures.I miss your comments.Where are you, my friend? Are you still out there reading my words? Are you still out there lurking?

I don't know why you stopped blogging. I don't know why you closed your blogs. I don't know why you didn't say good bye. I want you to know that the presence of your absence lingers. I want you to know that the silence of your words is deafening.

I want you to know that I am praying all is well with you.I want you to know that I miss you.I want you to know that I am not the only one.

If you are still reading my thoughts, please drop me an email. Please let me know you are okay.

Happy Christmas, my friend.

~kisa~

Hump day craft post: sneek peek

2011-12-07T16:52:00.001-05:00

I have a bunch of projects all running together right now. Here's a little peak at one of them.

What are you working on? Have any teacher crafts or holiday projects you're working on? Share them with me.

An Open Letter to T-Mobile

2011-12-06T14:00:00.000-05:00

Dear T-Mobile,

What were you thinking?

"Walking in a 4G wonderland?"

Do you have any idea what 4G sounds like when it is sung? Do you have any idea the amount of panic that ran through my body when I thought my kids were watching something....um....really inappropriate?

Walking in a what? Did you do this on purpose?

Once Upon A Time: The Shepherd

2011-12-05T22:09:00.001-05:00

This week we learn that our poor Prince Charming has yet another name.

Seriously?

In Fairytale Land

It appears that our dashing prince is unstopable. He galantly defeats an evil ugly brute and is rewarded by King Midas. His father (Charles Widmore from LOST) is beaming with pride when Midas turns Charming's sword to gold and promises even more once he defeats the dragon.

Thankfully Midas back at the castle by the time the evil-ugly brute, whose death has been greatly exaggerated, RUNS CHARMING THROUGH WITH AN EVIL-UGLY SPEAR.

I did not see that coming.

Enter Rumple.

Dude...this guy is everywhere and Robert Carlyle continues to impress me with his acting skills.

He tells King "Widmore" that dead is dead ( a great LOST reference). Then he reveals that James has a twin brother. Turns out Rumple's fetish for fetching babies isn't just reserved for maid servants named Cinderella. He works for royalty, too.

This is when we flash to our sweet Shepard boy (his name is not revealed, but one can hope that it is David)

Turns out ma and paw were trying to save the farm. Ever notice how expensive it is to run a farm? Apparently, it is sooo expensive that Ma is willing to give up one of her baby boys to keep the farm a float for a short while. Um...seems a little far fetched. I mean, if you're gonna give up one of the twins at least get enough money to be set for life.

But alas, Ma didn't think that far ahead and now Paw is dead and she is trying to marry Charming off to some chick with a big set of .... dowries.

Until Rumple entices him with a proposition. You slay the dragon. Your family lives comfortably. Personally, I'd get that in writing. It didn't work out very well last time.

Charming agrees. First mistake. Then the cute farm boy actually succeeds in slaying the worst CG dragon I have ever seen. Made me miss the black smoke from LOST.

Midas is overjoyed with his new mantle piece and King "Widmore" is anxious to be reward. Of course there is always a catch.

This one has a name. Abigail.

Abigal announces that "He'll do" and I begin to wonder why she is so dislikable in fairytale land while I don't mind her much in Storybrook.

Charming shares a Lifetime moment with his ma (who he is apparently harboring no resentment at all towards...curious) and then heads off into the sunset with his new bitch bride. Off to meet Snow.

I thought it was a nice touch that in this episode, Charming had no scar on his chin.

Meanwhile back in Storybrook.

Mary Margaret is mopping about Charming. Turns out David is home and Kathryn is tired of him giving her googly eyes.

David leaves his own welcome home party to chase after Mary and remind her that he feels so much more for her than he does Kathryn.

He pulls out the all time worst married guy line of all time saying that she doesn't mean anything to him and that he is drawn to her. "She needs someone to feel about her the way I feel about you." Seriously?

As much as I want him to choose already I'm having a little trouble feeling bad for him. He has all the cards.

Mary wrestles with her feelings and talks to Emma about it who pours her a drink and says, "If you think something you want to do is wrong, it usually is."

Seems like there is a lot of random drinking and newspaper reading in this episode. Go ahead...watch it again. You know you wanna.

David decides to leave Kathryn and we all cheer. He asks Snow to meet him at the Toll Bridge. To which, Emma encourages her to go. She throws caution to the wind and goes.

Like the village idiot, David asks for directions from Regina. Okay...this is too much. Does he really think that she is going to tell him how to get to the bridge.

Regina leads him to Rumple. Why? No one knows.

David walks into Gold's shop and fiddles with the glass mobile that used to grace Emma's crib. He hollers out to see if anyone is there. He walks past those creepy dolls from last weeks episode. "Charming," Gold says. Clever.

David does not get the reference. Gold give him directions to the bridge but as David turns to leave he is entranced by a windmill. We think he remembers his life with Snow. His farm. His Ma. But no. He has remembered his fake life with Kathryn.

He goes to the bridge but not to confess his dying love, but to tell Mary that he is returning to Kathryn. Wrong choice.

Mary is upset and alone. A bad combination.

Enter Dr. Whale.

Um...this dude is almost as creepy as Rumple.

He tells her he avoids feelings of rejection by doing the unexpected. And she lets him buy her a drink...or two.

That can't be good.

Whale's fairytale counterpart has not yet been revealed, but I believe that he is either the wolf from Red Riding hood, the whale from Pinocchio or Doc the dwarf. Either way, there is something off about him.

Other revelations..Emma finds out that Graham is sleeping with Regina.

Next week: Graham's story. Is he really the huntsman? And does he remember?

all photos credits of seriable.. Check it out.

Lessons from the lunchlady: careful how ya phrase that

2011-12-03T12:42:00.001-05:00

This week we served lunch four out of five days. This is PA people--the first day of buck is a National Holiday

Here's what I learned this week.

Corndogs are not Pigs in a Blanket. We were supposed to have corndogs but our order has been a little off lately. Instead we got one case of corndogs and two identical cases labeled pigs in a blanket. Really? Turns out my grandma's been making those wrong...they are really mini sausages wrapped in pancake. We served the "corndogs" with syrup. No one really noticed.

Playboy makes childrens clothing.. I know...I was a little surprised too until a kindergartener came in sporting a black jacket with the words PLAYBOY across the chest and pink playboy bunnies inside the hood.

Elementary language is contagious. It's true. A kindergartener referred to the cafeteria as the "bacteria" and our beloved custodian asked me to draw a chimley for his Cristmas display. Sadly, I am not immune. I asked if I should cut up some vegibles for the salads. it's a good thing we can laugh at ourselves.

There's no fruit! A third grade boy loudly declared that we were completely out of fruit. We stopped serving to fetch more only to find out that there were numerous cups of peaches. His response..."oh I thought those were carrots."

Santa breakfast is worth the work. We had tons of fun serving pancakes and sausages to the kiddos today. Santa took time out of his busy schedule to visit with us. There were tons of smiling faces.

What did you learn this week?

Writer's workshop: five things

2011-12-01T22:09:00.001-05:00

This week I chose Prompt 2: Five Things. List 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, and 5 things you believe. (inspired by LouLou’s Views)

5 things you don't know about me

I hate soup. ALL soup.
When I was young, my parents kept my hair very short and I was often mistaken for a boy.
I played catcher on an all boys baseball team for 4 years.
I currently own only three pair of shoes and a random set of flip flops.
Even though I have a dog, I like cats better (but NOT as much as her)

5 things I'm knowledgable about (other than my family)

football and baseball
Crafting with the cricut
Opening wine bottles
Writing
Preparing comercially manufactured food

5 things I know nothing about

Cooking
Changing a car tire
Guns
Llamas
5th grade math

5 things I believe

That Heaven and Hell are real
That if you need a friend it is good to be a friend.
That laughing everyday is important to your overall health.
That a glass of wine is good for the soul.
That all things happen for a reason and often that reason is not revealed.

Hump Day Craft Post: clay santa ornaments

2011-11-30T21:25:00.001-05:00

With one pack of sculpty clay in colors, flesh, white, red, and green I made these clay Santa ornaments.

They are rather simple and kind of remind me of playing with Playdoh. Make a ball out of the flesh color and then make an even tinier ball for the nose. I used tiny black beads for the eyes.

The white clay part is a little tricky. Make some snakes and flatten them out. Twist them and shape them for the beard. The eyebrows are a nice touch.

The red hat is just a triangle. I usually try to press in the center a little so it looks like he's actually wearing it. Place a white ball on the end. The brim is just a snake of read twisted with a snake of white.

I added the green leaves and holly berries just because they are fun. The leaves are just teardrop shapes. Add the little lines because that's what makes it leaf like :-). I added a metal jewelry loop through the hat so I can put a ribbon on it.

This clay needs baked. Instructions come in the packet.

i am not quite sure what I am going to do with them yet. Maybe I'll attach them to some gifts.

Leave me a link if you try em.

Once Upon A Time: That Still Small Voice

2011-11-29T19:47:00.001-05:00

This week's episode focused on Jiminy Cricket/Archie Hopper. I must admit, I was looking forward to hearing some of Cricket's background.

In Fairytale land:

Jiminy is a young lad disgruntled by his parents thievery. He is tired of pick pocketing. The show opens with a puppet show and eludes to how Jiminy feels like a puppet controlled by his parents.

While preparing to move on in his transient life, Jiminy is approached by a young boy who offers him an umbrella to shield him from the rain. They talk about the crickets and how they sing. They talk about how free the crickets are and Jiminy longs to be as free as they are.

Enter Rumple, who apparently buys all the stolen merchandise in all of the land. He offers Jiminy an out in the form of a little vile. Give it to your parents. His payment? Just leave your parents there and I will collect them. Um...gross.

Now realize this, Jiminy's parents deserve it. My favorite line, spoken by Jiminy's dad "We steal from them, they steal from us. It's called an economy."

After much consideration, Jiminy decides he will give Rumple's vile to his parents. But after an evil slight of hand, the vile ends up in the hands of innocent parents. Jiminy is mortified. He rushes to aid those he endangered and finds that they have turned into nasty-ugly-scary-as-all-get-out-dolls.

Of course, they are the parents of the small boy, who gave him the umbrella. That boy--Geppetto

Oh crap.

Yep. These chuckie-like things are gonna visit me in my dreams - for sure!

So like most grown men who still live with their parents, Jiminy decides that he will solve the problem by WISHING ON A STAR. Seriously?

The big breasted blue fairy returns and like the genie in Aladdin announces that there are certain wish restrictions. For example, yes to turning you into a cricket, no to bringing the boys parents back to life.

I bet Rumple could do it...just saying.

Meanwhile back in Storybrooke, Maine.

Hotty pants Sheriff Graham deputizes Emma and for a brief moment we are told that she will now have to dress like a man. Every husband being forced to watch this show gasped but then quickly exhaled once they realized that she will continue to sport those painted on jeggings.

As soon as she pins on her badge, there is a small earthquake. Okay...that's a little odd. When the scene changes to the Major/Evil Queen announcing that it was just some underground mines collapsing we were all like "Say what? How come TV shows always get cool underground mines?"

Since collapsed mines and cute kids go together like peanut butter and jelly, it doesn't take long to figure out where Henry will end up.

Best line in Storybrooke spoken by Emma to Archie: "what could be strong enough to drowned out your conscience."

With the help of Pongo (seriously?), the grown ups find a shaft...um I mean an air vent. At first I was worried that once lowered, Emma would find Desmond and would be forced to enter random numbers into a computer, but alas, that did not happen.

Emma is lowered into the mine in order to rescue not only Henry but Archie too. His conscience got the better of him and he rushed in to to save the boy after first devouring an Appolo bar (Lost shoutout).

As the trio is being pulled to safety, it appears that Hopper is about to falll to his death but he saves himself by snagging onto Emma's jeggings with his umbrella. That umbrella really is lucky.

In celebration EVERYONE starts drinking elf tonic and heads to the mayors house for some apple cider. Seriously? What were they all drinking?

Archie chirps at Regina and tells her that should a custody battle be in her future it would do her well to keep him on her side. Ouch...how about those feelers?

We fade out with Regina dropping a piece of glass down the air vent and we watch as it bounces off of Snow White's glass coffin.

Speaking of Snow, she had a cameo in this episode that was probably less than 5 minutes, but the chemistry between her and Charming is fantastic. The only thing that feels real to him is Snow and she is drawn to him as well.

So drawn that she resigns from volunteering?? at the hospital.

I want to dislike Kathryn, David/James/Charming's wife, but she's actually quite...um...charming.

Next week, more Snow and Charming.

Thank you!

I am so glad the blue fairy granted my wish!

Weekend update: thanksgiving and all that jazz

2011-11-28T18:29:00.001-05:00

We traveled south for the Thanksgiving holiday and got to see my sister and her family. Her inlaws were visiting and brought down the RV which allowed us to mock the best Christmas movie of all time.

Even though I was annoyed that all the stores opened early this year, we managed some late night shopping. We got home at 4 a.m. and went back out at 9:30 a.m. We are clearly crazy.

We did not buy this. Quite frankly, it's disturbing.

We took in the Muppet movie and it was incredibly cheesy and fantastic! I loved it! The best part? I think the kids liked it too.

Insert Christmas Carol mock...OMG I love this movie

The shitter was full!

The dogs seemed to enjoy each others company although my beagle looks a little homesick here. My sister's lab was very well behaved and I am sure they will miss each other this week.

Here's hoping all your company was well behaved and formed an orderly line for turkey. Happy Holidays, my friends. Less than a month until Christmas. Here's hoping you're not on the naughty list.

Lessons from the Lunchlady: the tomato isn't even a vegetable

2011-11-25T19:39:00.001-05:00

In honor of the fact that our very own US Congress decided this week to allow tomato paste to count as a vegetable serving I thought we would take a moment to mourn.

We are raising the first generation of children that will not live longer than the generation before them.

We are failing our kids.

All in order to protect the almighty dollar.

It deeply saddens me.

Wake up Congress. Wake up.

Hump Day Craft Post: Deck the halls with Christmas Balls!

2011-11-23T14:06:00.001-05:00

For this project you will need some floor cleaner, some glitter and some simple, plain glass Christmas balls

Add a little bit of the Pledge with Future Shine to the ball. This stuff is sticky! Swirl it around in there. Make sure you get it all coated and DUMP OUT THE EXCESS.

Add the glitter. If you want to do multiple colors then they should mix them before dumping them in the ball. Shake...shake...shake. Dump out excess glitter. And recap. You can add ribbon or use the balls as place settings for Christmas dinner.

Have an easy Christmas craft. Leave me a link.

Thanksgiving...a few days early

2011-11-22T17:12:00.001-05:00

In case you didn't know, Thanksgiving is just a few days away. It's that day of the year when we stuff ourselves and pretend to be thankful.

After all, Christmas keeps edging in on this holiday. In case you didn't know, Christmas is the day Christians celebrate the birth of their savior by getting random plastic items for their children. Yeah..I can't recall how they correlate either.

Today, I've been feeling like a "have not" and I really need to post this to remind me just how much of a "have" person I am.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for

My kiddos. Watching Little G. recover so quickly from his bout of pneumonia, reminds me of all the parents out there whose kiddos are really fighting. Today I am. Saying a prayer for them.

My hubby. He drives me crazy sometimes but he puts up with all my quirks (even though they are few) and he is willing to drive to NC to spend Thanksgiving with my sister and her family.

My family. I am thankful that my sister and her hubby want us to invade. I am thankful that she'll let me bring my obese dog. I am thankful that her in laws are bringing down the motor home and plugging it into her house. It's a Griswold Family Thanksgiving. I am thankful for all my family; they may drive us nuts sometimes, but without them where would we be?

My friends. I have so many friends whom I can turn to in a moments notice. That is truly a blessing.

Wine. The sweeter the better.

Laughter. I am thankful for the sense of humor I have been given and the ability I have to make people laugh even when I am not even trying. Which happens more than I would like to admit.

Cardstock. I love to create things out of paper. From wreaths, to scrapbooks, to cards, I love the feel of paper in my hands.

Sunshine. Days of rain change my mood. I love the sun. Even if it's cold out, the day is better when the sun is shining.

Hot tea. I start every morning off with a nice steamy cup of tea. Nothing quite like a quiet house filled with healthy sleeping children and a warm cup of tea in your hands. Add the sun rising over the mountain and who cares why lies ahead. All seems right with the world.

Warm blankets, my house, my stinky beagle, my cricut, comfortable jeans, pop tarts, Pepsi....

What are you thankful for?

An open letter to a few things that are annoying me

2011-11-21T22:39:00.001-05:00

Dear Target,

You used to be my salvation. You used to be a good reason not to go to Wal-Mart. Not anymore. Your pharmacy SUCKS. The pharmacist was rude. She wouldn't give me a bag. She was too busy to look at me to see I had a puking child. I had to get my own bag.

Me (holding bag of vomit) "Where would you like me to put this?" (though I had a few ideas where I'd like to put it)

Pharmacist making about $110,000 a year: "um...in the bathroom?"

Me: "sounds like you don't clean the bathroom...um are there any other options?"

Some sweet teen employee called the manager and he said he'd come over and fetch it, but it was taking him a long while. Finally the pharacist assistant who probably makes $9 an hour comes over and double bags my kid's vomit so we can leave.

Assistant: "Feeling bad for you guys. I will wait for the manager."

Hey Pharmacist...that's how you treat people. From sick people to the people that clean the bathroom, treat others the way you would like to be treated.

~kisa~

Dear virus that is trying to kill Thanksgiving,

You were not invited here and you have over stayed your welcome. Get out!

You gave Little G a cough, which turned into pnemonia, which turned into an ear infection which led to a ruptured ear drum. Don't let me forget about the 24 hours of vomitting.

Both girls are coughing. I am pretending not too cough but am definately loosing my voice. Hubby has a sinus infection and we all know how well men do when they are sick. Don't deny it--you all know it is true.

We are supposed to be getting ready to travel to my sisters for Thanksgiving.

You have 12 hours to get your ugly green microscopic ass out of my house. I have Lysol and I've been using it!

~kisa

Lessons from the Lunchlady: You better check yourself and the carrots too

2011-11-18T08:46:00.001-05:00

Another great Terry Border pic...love the hidden peeler..LOL
Click the photo to see more and order his book for Christmas

Holy Moly...it's Friday. This week I managed to work two whole days in the cafeteria. I was off Monday to attend the funeral of my husband's grandmother and yesterday it became apparent that Little G was not well.

He is starting to recoup a little today. He has a touch of pneumonia, an ear infection and spent yesterday throwing up everything any anything I gave him to help.

Even though I spent more days away from the cafe then I spent in the cafeteria this week, here is what I learned.

It's important to check yourself. For what? I'm not clear, but based on a rather rude conversation with a parent this week I can tell you for sure that it's important. So I implore you, when you are done reading this...check yourself.

Stuffing balls and gravy. I have lamented before about the amount of work that goes into our holiday meals and few students actually eat them. This year we entertained most of the admin building and our tiny elementary served nearly 45 adults and 175 kids Thanksgiving dinner. When you have a teeny tiny kitchen and only one warmer, that is quite an accomplishment. Don't even get me started on the dishes!

Carrots are a conundrum.. Last week, while preparing the veggies I found this Lobster claw carrot. This week we had bagged baby carrots and quite a few of them were ROTTEN. After a handful of kiddos told me they found rotten carrots, I tossed that whole case in the trash. What did we learn? No matter the use-by-date, it's a crap shoot as to what you'll get.

Sporks. We used sporks this week and the kiddos were elated. Really. From kindergarten up to, and including, a few adults, I had more comments on the sporks then I did on the Thanksgiving feast. My favorite...a kindergarten boy to a kindergarten girl "I'm gonna touch them points to see if they're willy sharp." He touches it while she rolls her eyes. Then he says, "Yep, them are sharp." Her response. "I knowed that without touchin it."

Speaking of utensils. . Last week at breakfast, I had a wiry 1st grade take all the spoons out of the dispenser, lick em and put em back. Thankfully, some other students saw this um...creativity? This turned into a great lesson on treating others the way we'd like to be treated. I am hoping he goes into forensic science as a career path.

What did you learn this week?

An open letter to my new mug

2011-11-17T13:15:00.001-05:00

Dear Kermit Mug,

Thank you for holding so much necessary caffeine.

Thank you for being my favorite color.

Thank you for reminding me that in just a few short days I will be at the muppet movie premiere with my sister.

She and I grew up watching the muppets and I can't wait to watch them with her again and to share the fun with all our kiddos.

Cheers,

Kisa

Hump Day Craft Post: New Bulletin Board

2011-11-16T15:11:00.001-05:00

I complained a couple weeks ago about the lack of manners I was seeing in the cafeteria.

In an effort to help curb this and remind students what is expected, I created this bulletin board.

All these food cuts (except the salad and chicken bone) are made using the simply sweet cricut cartridge. The pizza is my all time favorite. Love the black olives.

The salad and the chicken bone are cut using the BBQ cart.

Thanks for stopping by. If you make a similar board, I'd love to see it. Please leave me a link.

Once Upon A Time: The Price of Gold

2011-11-15T06:26:00.001-05:00

This week we meet Cinderella/Ella/Ashley....um that's a mouthful. Her Prince Thomas/Sean may be Prince Charming/James' brother but as of this writing that is unconfirmed.

Cinderella can't go to the ball and the story starts with that familiar sad story. Enter her fairy godmother, whom begins to tell her that all of her dreams are about to come true when she is abruptly exploded but Rumple.

Rumple, who gets creepier each episode, tells her that "all magic comes with a price" and like most Americans signing mortgage papers, she quickly jots one of her many names down on a contract that pops out of the air.

Hey kids...if the contract just materializes you should probably READ the fine print.

Best line was when Rumple flicked the wand and put Cinderella in her infamous attire and she asked about the glass slippers. His response "Every story needs a memorable detail."

Flash forward and Ella is happy. She is married to Prince Thomas, she's friends with Snow, even Grumpy seems to be on her payroll. Then Rumple comes to collect. The contract doesn't ask for gold or jewels. Rumple wants her baby. Ouch.

Like any good Disney princess she decides to run away. Thomas finds out. He comes up with a plan that the Scooby Doo gang would be proud of. It involves a blue bird, a dwarf, a dungeon, and a scary red quill.

Anywho, all Ella has to do is lie to a liar, offer him another infant in return for um...grain...and get him to alter the deal by signing with the magic red quill. This will freeze him.

Ella having learned from the last mortgage she tried to negotiate says, "but what if this magic has a price, too" to which Prince Hotty Pants aka Thomas says "If it does than I will pay it"

So Snow sends a blue bird to fetch Rumple and he meets up with Ella in a misty part of the kingdom, it is pretty clear that he knows she is the worst liar in the world but he signs the contract with the fancy pen.

Good prevails. Prince Thomas names the baby Alex (LOST shout out) and Rumple is imprisoned. Of course, he tells her that his deals are always honored in this life or in another. She appears to go into premature labor to which Prince Thomas goes to fetch some water and doesn't return.

After all, magic has a price and Thomas agreed to pay it.

Back in Storybrook:

Regina runs into Emma after Sheriff Graham just offered her a job as a deputy. Regina/EQ says she is no linger concerned about Emma because she has never stayed anywhere for very long and will eventually tire of Storybrook and move on.

Best line in Storybrook, spoken by Regina to Emma, "People don't change, they only fool themselves into believing they can."

After getting pissed by the entire conversation, Emma meets Ashely/Ella/Cinderella in the laundry room. She's pregnant and alone and looking kind of scared. Of course, she's an inept maid. Ironic.

Emma convinces her to quit whining. "You want people to look at you differently then make them. There are no fairy godmothers."

Long story short Sean/Prince Thomas ain't all that prince like. His daddy basically sold baby Alex to Mr. Gold/Rumple and now Ashley wants to revoke the deal. However, breaking a deal with this dude is near impossible.

Ashley flees. Emma finds her. As does Mr, Gold. He agrees to let her keep the baby but only if Emma will admit to owing him a favor. What that favor may turn out to be, one can only imagine. The Price of Gold...could be a twist on the title.

Ashley names the baby Alex and Sean returns, bucking his daddy and bringing the baby shoes. Oh, how I loved that.

Meanwhile Henry has been helping Emma all the while and now must make it home before midnight...I mean five. This is when him mom will return from her Saturday council meeting which is code for afternoon frolic with Graham the hot sheriff.

Keeping with our Cinderella theme, while running into the house to keep from being busted, Henry loses a shoe.

Every story, after all, needs a memorable moment.

The episode ends with Emma calling Graham and accepting a job with the Sheriff department. Oh that's going to get awkward.

Next week we have a bye, but the following Sunday we return with a little more info on Dr. Jiminy.

Grandma T : August 26, 1914 - November 11, 2011

2011-11-14T22:35:00.001-05:00

No one knows how long they will live. No one can predict how much time they will be given on this earth.

Look at any obiturary page on any day and odds are you can find the very young as well as the very old.

This weekend we said goodbye to my husband's grandmother. A women who had 9 children, 25 grandchildren, 54 great-grandchildren and 7 great great grandchildren.

At the funeral this morning the pastor asked for just her direct decendents to stand and it was truly breathtaking. Her legacy lives.

Things I, as an inlaw, will remember. She always had those pink mint flavored candies. She loved to read. She always seemed honestly happy to see you. Her front porch swing. How good she was at tiddly-winks. How all her children were convinced they were her favorite. How she never wore jeans, but had slacks in all colors. How she knew her scripture. How deeply she loved her family.

I am blessed to have known such a woman and amazed at the memories my own children have of their great-grandmother.

I imagine, Raymond, her husband who passed nearly 20 years ago, was eagerly awaiting her arrival and that this holiday season they will be together again smiling down at they legacy they left behind.

RIP Grandma.

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Laughter is the best medicine

2011-11-12T19:58:00.001-05:00

Photo credit Terry Border
(click photo to see more of his work)

I am happy to report that I have picked myself up off the ground and no longer feel like the downed wooden spoon pictured here.

Fore that I have you to thank. This funk is getting better because of my great friends both here in blog land and IRL. Thanks.

This week in the cafeteria I learned a lot.

Most of the kids aren't rude: I made a new bulletin board reminding the kids to say please and thank you and most of them are. Sometimes they need a prompt of two (occasionally more) but most of them are doing it.

Our teachers ROCK. Some of the other lunch ladies complain A LOT about the teachers in their building, but I can honestly say that the teachers in our building treat us with respect. The kindergarten teachers (who go through the lunchline) have been reminding their kids to be polite and respectful to us and for that I am truly grateful. After all, you can't fault a child for not using manners until you teach them what manners are.

We laughed a lot. I think laughter is great medicine. I missed my fall beach trip this year and I think that was one of the reasons I was in such a funk. This week, however, we laughed a lot in the cafeteria and I think it is helping me get back into the swing of things.

Words of Affirmation. I've talked a lot about love languages and how I clearly receive love with words of affirmation (hence the reason I am always begging for adoring comments). That being said, this week I got a lot of positive feedback from my immediate co-workers, from the teachers, from the administration, even from the director of our department. It meant a lot to me to know that maybe the things we do, while menial sometimes, really do matter.

A kindergartner remembered my name. I've joked before that our building is small enough that it is possible to know all the students by their name. This one little boy always seemed amazed when I would call him by his first name. I joked with him often about when he would remember my name. One day he told me that he would remember my name when he "growed up and worked here." A few days ago, when I said hi to him, he said "Hi Miss Wendy. See I tolded you I'd remember your name and I said please and thank you today."

Perhaps, they are listening.

What did you learn this week?

Another Blog about Penn State

2011-11-10T19:13:00.001-05:00

Around this time last year, my husband surprised me with a trip to State College. Even though we do not live that far from there, I had never visited.

I had never been to a Penn State game.

I had never seen the field.

My hubby is a Penn State graduate and most of my family are die hard fans.

I joked that attending a game and seeing JoePa coach was on my bucket list.

Hubby was listening.

We stayed in a quaint bed and breakfast. We did some Christmas shopping, we attended a very cold game at PSU.

Look what a difference a year makes.

I am at a lost for words.

Here is what I know. My heart is broken for these at risk children. Many adults failed them. I cannot imagine witnessing the abuse of a child and not informing law enforcement. I am deeply saddened that the coach who reminded me so much of my own grandfather will now be remembered as someone who was fire amidst sexual abuse allegations.

It will be an footnote JoePa will never escape.

Do I think he did all he was legally obligated to do? That's debatable. Do I believe that he truly believed Sandusky was innocent? This was a man whom he worked with for decades, I'm sure he wanted to believe he was not capable of these unspeakable acts. Do I think JoePa did what was morally right? Sadly no.

I suppose it truly is time to clean house at PSU. From the president on down, including McQueary, because while he may have followed his chain of command he was the actual eye-witness and he should definitely have done more. He is a big guy who could have intervened and taken that child to the hospital. A report would have been filed and a pedophile would have been arrested.

Yet as of this writing, McQueary remains employed.

This university is so much more than JoePa, but it remains to be seen if it will recover from this mushroom cloud.

Hump day craft post : holiday wreath

2011-11-09T19:19:00.001-05:00

At the end of the school year last year one of the teachers in our building gave me a huge stack of holiday scrapbook paper.

As a gift, I am taking that paper and making a wreath for her. Shhhh.... It is a secret.

If you wanna make it you need A LOT of 6 inch by 1 inch strips looped and stapled. Then you STAGGER the loops on a styrofoam wreath.

Staggering is very important or your wreath will look odd. Trust me. This project takes a lot of hot glue and when you are done you will have finger burns to prove you have made it yourself.

Total time to cut, loop, staple and glue is about 3 hours.

If you make one leave me a link.

Once Upon a Time: Snow Falls

2011-11-08T21:09:00.001-05:00

I was so incredibly excited for this episode as I wanted to find out Prince Charming's name.

While I didn't think the episode was as great as the first two I still loved it.

It opens with a fantastic castle scene reminicent of that really hard to spell castle in Germany or Disney World.

Charming is in a carriage with a whiny and over bearing duchess when the carriage is stalled by a down tree. It is an ambush and the thief gets away with Charming's little bag which of course he left open on the carriage seat. Not bright.

Not wanting to be shown up by a thief in front of his obnoxious fiancee he takes off "don't worry babe! I got this.". Of course, he's after his purse instead of hers. Awkward.

He catches the thief and is a little taken back when it turns out to be Snow and she decks him with a rock that leaves that oh-do-handsome little scare on his chin.

She gets away but later in the episode Charming keeps his promise of "Wherever you are I will find you."

Meanwhile back in Storybrooke....

Snow has the worst date EVAH! But I have to admit that I love the fact that Red Riding Hood's name is Ruby. That is fantastic.

Snow leaves and sees Emma living in her car. She offers her a spare room but Emma perfers her Bug. Why? We can't be sure.

One of the best lines: Snow to Emma about her date: "If true love was easy, we'd all have it."

Enter Henry who is convinced he has found Charming and he is a coma patient who would appreciate some fairy tales read to him. Emma and Mary Margaret aka Snow think the boy has lost it but Snow agrees to read to him to prove it will have no effect and therefore painlessly discredit the boy.

Problem...it worked.

Charming starts responding and eventually tries to find Snow at the Troll brige which is where he last rescued her.

Fade back to Fairytale land Charming eventually captures Snow, says he knows she is a wanted crimininal and that he will turn her in unless she returns his jewelry.

The jewelry she sold to the trolls.

There's some great dialogue back and forth including at one point Snow tells him she doesn't believe in love at first sight and you heard WaltDisney gasp from his resting space.

I loved the close up of the arrow flying through the forest as Charming rescued her from royal soldiers. I loved how, even though she didn't have to, she returned to save him from trolls. I loved that he said "it seemed like the noble thing to do" and how she repeated that line to him.

Best line is when Charming asks what she did to upset the queen and Snow replied, "She blames me for ruining her life." Charming asks "Did you?" and Snow replies,"yes"

Just as it begins to feel like Snow and James aka Charming will proclaim their love for each other he goes to his castle and she returns to her tree stump.

Back in Storybrook Mary Margaret, Emma and Henry along with Sheriff Sexy pants find Charming under the toll bridge near death and what brings him back? Snow white's kiss. Fantastic!

Oh course, Regina is all over this new development. I mean apparently the hospital is run by dwarfs and traitors. Regina brings the Duchess into the picture who proudly decrees that David/James/Charming is her husband.

And suddenly Snow's date at the beginning doesn't look all that bad and Emma decides living with her sudo birth mother sounds fantastic. What brings on this change of heart? Regina's line "Not having someone is the worse curse imaginable."

Next week: We meet Cinderella. I am almost giddy. Do you think the birds and the mice will be friendly toward her?

Nanowrimo and why I'm crazy enough to participate

2011-11-07T07:53:00.001-05:00

I work well under pressure.

Let the State Inspector show up in the cafeteria on the holiday meal. Our stuffing balls will be hot and fresh.

That's why I love nanowrimo because it forces me to write 1667 words a day.

I know what you are thinking? How does a non-profit organization force me to write 1667 words a day. That takes a lot of people more than a month to write. That takes a lot of people even longer.

Here's how...I don't want to fail. I am perfectly aware that this first draft will likely make little sense, i am perfectly aware that by not reading anything I've previously written except the last sentence is crazy. I am perfectly aware that making up the plot as I go sounds outlandishly stupid, but it works for me.

I am falling in love with my characters and as of Halloween they didn't exist. I want to be friends with Mandy, my protagonist. I want to visit the Center library in Indianapolis to see if my description even comes close to capturing its beauty. I want to fall madly and deeply in love again.

I participate in Nanowrimo to remind myself that I still have an imagination.

Are you participating? Why not be my writing buddy. We can encourage each other.

You can find me on nanowrimo as kisatrtle.

Lessons from the Lunchlady: it's all soup to me

2011-11-04T18:36:00.001-04:00

It's Friday! You know what that means...it is time to review what we have learned in the cafeteria.

The computer likes to taunt me. Every day, when logging off of the computer in the cafeteria, it asks "Do you really want to quit?". So. Freakin'. Bad. I can't shake the I HATE MY FREAKIN JOB blues. Why? I'm not sure. Morale in the entire building is very low, the kids are increasingly rude and disrespectful and I often feel like a maid. Anyone have any spare happy pills?

Requiring manners makes for a slow moving lunch line. As stated above, rude kids push my buttons so my boss and I have decided to wait for a please and a thank you before releasing their tray. You'd be surprised to find out just how long some of the kids will stand there as they try to figure out what we are waiting for. Our hope is that after 30 days it will become a habit.

Mashed Potatoes are hard to draw. I lamented a few weeks ago about the dificulties I had drawing corn but they were nothing compared to the challenges I faced attempting to draw mashed potatoes. I knew I was in trouble when those kids started asking for soup.

You don't know how much you'll miss someone until they're gone. Our custodian needed to take a few days off this week and let me tell you that ain't fun. Suddenly the garbage, the floors and the tray dumping all fell on the cafeteria staff. Thumbs up to our principal, who isn't afraid to get a little messy.

Mental Health Days are recommended. I took today off. I spent it with my good friend, who also took the day off.

We went shopping at a craft warehouse and I got lots of goodies.

And we drank our lunch.

I might actually be able to face that computer on Monday without saying "HELL YEAH I WANNA QUIT"

What did you learn this week?

FAQ about me

2011-11-03T22:58:00.001-04:00

It's time to compose a frequently asked questions list for the handful of you who read this blog.

Q. ARE YOU REALLY A LUNCHLADY?

A. Unfortunately, I really am. Sometimes I think back to when I was at an age when all things seemed possible and remember that I too thought I could be both a backup dancer for Paula Abdul and an eye doctor. Then I realized that I can't dance and they don't let people who suck at science and math become medical doctors. That being said, as a lunchlady, I have danced backup at many an iRoar assembly and I have been first on the scene when random eyelashes land in random eyes. So I guess you could say that I am sort of a backup dancer/eye doctor/lunchlady, which sounds kind of cool.

Q. DO YOU REALLY WRITE ABOUT SPEED HUMPS?

A. Again, an unfortunate truth. Along with touring with Paula, I had great plans for writing a book. Turns out that unless you sort of know someone who knows someone getting a book published ain't all that easy. The newspaper, however, seems to go through "stringers" like most people go through tissues. A stringer is a fancy term for someone who strings the story together. In other words, you write it, they edit it, you okay it and then, if you are lucky, it runs in the paper. Stringers freelance for the paper and are not staff. Instead of writing fiction, I get to write about things like speed humps, press boxes, driver's ed costs and superintendent raises. The topics might be a little unusual, but my name is in the byline. Published.

Q. ARE YOU REALLY THE SIZE OF AN AVERAGE 7th GRADER?

A. This is false. In fact, most 7th graders are significantly bigger than me. I am the size of an average 5th grader. I am 5'2 and sadly that is all the taller I am going to get. My grandma never broke 5 foot and managed just fine. Of course, height is one of the contributing factors in my failure as a back up dancer. That and the fact that I don't have any rythm.

Q. BECAUSE OF THE ABOVE, DO YOU NEED A BOOSTER SEAT TO DRIVE?

A. Technically, this is likely true, but since I meet the weight requirements it seems like overkill.

Q. DO YOU EXPECT A LOT OF PEOPLE TO READ AND COMMENT ON THIS POST?

A. Of course. Every day, I continue to expect Paula Abdul to call and offer me work. I expect that at any given moment I will be given an honorary doctorate for something--what I'm not sure. I expect that someday a library book will have my name on it next to written by. I expect, but am not hopeful that I will be taller than one of my children. I expect one of you to send me a booster seat as a joke and I expect all 5 of you to leave me some comment love.

Of course, I have been wrong in the past.

This post was brought to you by writing prompt genius Mama Kat whom I am certain has a lot more comment love than I do and I blame it all on the fact that she is significantly taller than me.

Hump Day Craft Post - Disney Character Shaped Autograph book

2011-11-02T21:46:00.001-04:00

Regular readers will most likely recall my fondness for Disney autograph books. I have made at least 30.

So when friends of mine were returning to Disney, I wanted to make the kids a new book. But I wanted it to be a little different.

I asked them who their favorite characters were and attempted to make the books in their shapes.

I was pleasantly surprised by how they turned out.

They are cut from the Disney & friends cricut cartridge at 8 inches. The front and back are mirror images of each other and the pages are blackouts.

I used a cropidile to bind them with a simple key ring. The key ring is embelished with ribbon.

Thanks for visiting.

A few Reasons You Should Be Watching Once Upon A Time

2011-11-01T19:25:00.001-04:00

There hasn't been a television show that I've truly LOVED since the season finale of LOST . When I found out that ABC would be launching this new series and that the writer's of LOST would be part of it, I could hardly contain my excitement.

Here's the gist, as I see it. Snow White has always been a thorn in the Evil Queen's side. The fact that she is alive even though EQ has tried to kill her more than once really pisses her off. She has decided now that Snow and PC are married and happy that she will stop at nothing to ruin it.

She creates a curse that puts all the fairy tale characters in a place worse than hell...um...Storybrooke, Maine. Time is frozen there. No one ages and no one remembers who they really are. The clock is stuck on 8:15. A brilliant shout out to the passengers of Flight 815 of LOST.

Even if you are not a fan of LOST, this show is compelling and so cleverly writen it will make you take notice. Here are just a few reasons I think you should watch.

This is Sheriff Graham. Personally, that is a good enough reason, but if you need more, I can provide. He appears to be the Evil Queen/Regina's huntsman. If you will recall, in Snow White the huntsman was conflicted by what he was told to do and what he knew was right. You like him even more now, don't ya?

Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gould is one of the most complex and cleverly written villians to ever make primetime. i mean he's no Dexter, but he is fantastic.

Emma Swan, the main character is portrayed by Jennifer Morrison, everyones favorite House character. She is the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming and the savior that will stop the curse. The fact that her name is Swan and that she will stop the black smoke curse is a direct shout out to the LOST writers. A sweet touch.

Snow White/Mary Margaret Blanchard is not you average Snow White. She isn't sitting back and waiting for life to happen to her. She is doing her best to give everyone around her "there best chance!"

Jiminy Cricket/Dr. Archie Hopper is worth a mention. He is 10 year old Henry's shrink. He gets the nod for best line in the pilot for "Giving into ones dark side never accomplishes anything?"

Of course, runner up would have to go to Regina/EQ for her line spoken to Emma Swan "Would you like a glass of the best apple cider in the county.". Everyone knows you should never take any apple products from the EQ. LOL

Finally, if you don't watch you won't be able to follow my oh-so-funny reviews which will begin next Tuesday and you don't wanna miss that.

Go catch up...you only have the pilot and episode two. Without giving it all away I will say that Epsiode 2 gives you a glimpes of maleficent and a handful of other villians, you see a brilliantly portrayed reaction of what it might be like to come face to face with your birth mother, you find out just how far evil will go and you fall further in love with the brilliant child actor Jarod Gilmore and his potrayal of Henry.

Oh...and you don't wanna miss Red Riding Hood and Ganny....so tune in!

An open letter to mother nature

2011-10-31T21:15:00.001-04:00

Dear Mother Nature,

I don't like to beat around the bush so let me be blunt. I HATE YOU.

What have we done to you that has your tights in a wad? So far this year we have had record heat, an earthquake, flash flooding and now snow BEFORE Halloween.

I am not impressed.

Are you out to prove a point? Do you have an ax to grind? What is the purpose of all of this?

Let's be serious, pumpkins look stupid in the snow. They are meant to be surrounded by fall colors and hay bails. Not snow.

There is a reason Frosty wasn't a witch. Because witches made out of snow are STUPID. They aren't scarey. What's scarey is my heating bill...what's scarey is the fact that none of my kids have boots that fit.

This is my favorite tree and yet you tried to debranch it. Why? What has it ever done to you?

What about these?

What did they do to deserve this fate?

There is a reason that the leaves fall before the snow. The snow is just too heavy!

I think you and I need to come to some sort of amiable agreement.

Here's my proposal. You can have one snow storm per month in November, december, January and February. Come groundhog day that stupid little rodent better not see his shadow.

In return, I promise to publicly humiliate anyone I see liter, will recycle every recylable in my house including the toliet paper rolls, and will never call you a bitch on my blog again.

These are the terms. You have until the 15th to respond.

Sincerely,

~Kisa~ (my ass)

Lessons from the lunchlady: can I have this dance?

2011-10-28T09:48:00.001-04:00

It's the end of the first marking period and October is almost over. As further proof that mother nature is a fickle bitch we are supposed to have 5-8 inches of snow tomorrow in time for our 1 p.m. Soccer game.

This does not lend me to believe that we are going to have any easy winter,

That being said, here's what I learned in the cafeteria this week.

Processed chicken...it's what's on the menu. I don't eat processed chicken. It scares me. Most likely because I have seen this.

That being said, American school children LOVE processed chicken. It finds its way onto our school menus TWICE a week in the form of chicken balls, chicken sticks, chicken nuggets, chicken patties and tenders. What saddens me most about this, is that my own children want to buy it ALL the time. Ugh.

Don't be rude. Sometimes the lack of manners gets to me. Sometimes the down right rudeness pushes my buttons. Sometimes I have a nervous breakdown and want to writeup all the little brats in second grade as well as a few third graders. This week alone I had a kid stick their tongue out at me, kick me to get my attention, ask what is taking so long, whine because the water dispenser was empty even though the water fountain is less than 10 steps away, bark at me because their was no BBQ sauce, and stab a classmate in the hand with a fork.

Forks are a privledge, not a right. I am looking forward to next week when we no longer provide forks for third grade. Can't be responsible, than your privledge is revoked. Good luck eating your salad with a spoon.

Is it rice or oatmeal? It is never a good sign when the students can't tell what it is you just put on their tray. It's an exceptionally bad sign when the adult aides have to ask if it's oatmeal or rice. Um...I don't think the rice should stay in the shape of the scooper. That's just my opinion.

Cute kids outweigh the rude ones. We had our annual Halloween dance last night complete with crafts, pumpkin painting, and a rockin DJ. I received countless hugs from ninjas, princesses, werewolves and angry birds. One stickin' cute kindergarten pirate asked me to dance and I forgot all about the rude kids above.

What did you learn this week?

Right Now

2011-10-24T22:44:00.001-04:00

Right now...I am wondering why I blog. I probably just need to take a break. I am approaching my 1000 post which could burn anyone out. This post could happen before the end of the year, depending on how often I actually post.

Right now...I am listening to my husband play guitar and have the football game on in the background.

Right now...I am wearing lounge pants and a baggy t-shirt. I just got home from hearing a wonderful presentation by Henry Winkler. Some of you may remember him as The Fonz on Happy Days, others may only recall him as an extra in Adam Sandler movies. My kids know him as the author of the Hank Zipzter books.

Right now...I am thinking about making a bulletin board out one of Winkler's quotes. Negative Thinking has no nutritional value.

Right now...even though I am thinking that negative thinking has no nutritional value I am still feeling negative. Why? I don' know.

Right now....I should be sleeping.

Good night, my friends.

Lessons from the lunchlady: i'll have spear guts

2011-10-22T14:24:00.001-04:00

This week was filled with adventure in cafeteria land. In all honesty, the cafeteria is just one of those places where nothing is ever a certainty.

Here's what I learned.

I can not draw corn. Every day I put the veggie choices on a white board and attempt to draw them because half of our building cannot read. Above is today's picture. A first grader asked for spear guts aka asparagus. So much for that drawing...

Bullys come in all sizes. I smiled a little bit when one of the biggest boys in our school told me he was being bullied by a kindergartner. I think (and hope) it was a misunderstanding as they seemed like friends at the end of the day.

Miss Clavel from the Madeline stories came to visit. Actually, I'm not sure why she was at lunch but I feared if I did something wrong she may smack my hands with a ruler.

Chicken?? It is possible to have chicken twice a week and forget to order it!

If you throw up, go to the nurse. Seems logical, right? Nope. Sometimes you barf on your shoes and go to recess.

Kids love getting their pics taken. Take a camera out and you will get some smiles right away. What happens to us that changes that?

What did you learn?

An open letter to my son on his 8th birthday

2011-10-19T18:17:00.001-04:00

Dear Little G,

Eight years ago today I was in the hospital having you, my third baby in less than five years. Your sisters were 4 and 2.

We lived in Ohio about 6 hours from our closest family and to say I was a little overwhelmed would be an understatement.

Unlike your sisters, you seemed to sense it. You seemed to know from the very beginning that I needed you to be easy.

And you were.

You spent a lot of time in your car carrier or your vibrating chair. You ran with me to take Oldest G to preschool. You slept through Middle G's gymboree class. You just went with the flow.

For the most part, you still do. You don't complain about going to your sister's soccer games and you just ride along when we have to go to the middle school for the umpteeth time to pick up Oldest G.

I hope this means that you will be an easy going tween too. I hope this means that when you are grown you will see the benefits of being flexible.

My advice this year is simple...

Fill your life with people who make you happy and avoid those who do not.

Do not be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try something different. Is is good to push yourself beyond what you think you are capable of doing.

Remember to always say thank you. Thank people for their time, for lunch, for their help and for just being there for you. You will be surprised how thanking them will be a blessing to you.

You are loved so very much and no matter how old you get I am afraid that you will always be Little G to me.

My heart forever,

Mommy

5 Reasons why I am not a good bloggy buddy right now

2011-10-17T22:56:00.000-04:00

I just want to give a shout out to all of my readers who are still stopping by even though it has been a while since I've been able to visit any of you.

A thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued readership.

Here are a few reasons why I haven't been by:

PTO. I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the roll of president. Between you and I, I often feel like I am not devoting enough attention to any one area of my life. For example, if I give more time to PTO I have to take more time for family, blogging, crafting, scraping....you name it.

DEMANDING CHILDREN. I blogged about my oldest breaking her toe. She is acting like she broke her leg. I am having trouble feeling bad for her. Son is crying about everything again and middle daughter has had more drama on the bus the past few days than anyone should ever have.

HOUSEWORK. Um...I haven't been doing any so I'm not sure why it's interfering but damn is this house a mess.

BIRTHDAY PARTIES. Just once I'd like to just be invited to our kids birthdays. I feel like that's pretty much what my husband does every year. Little G's birthday is Wednesday and his party is Saturday. Ugh...I can't believe he'll be 8!

SOCCER, DRAMA, CHOIR, SCHOOL BOARD MEETINGS, CLARINET LESSONS, AFTER-SCHOOL BAND, BOY SCOUTS. I think I need a clone....

Sorry I haven't been around. I need a mental health day.

~kisa~

Lessons from the Lunchlady: is that a carrot or a fry?

2011-10-14T18:28:00.001-04:00

Even though this week was short due to the Columbus Day holiday, I can honestly say I am thankful it is Friday.

Here's what I learned.

Offering choices sucks. I am soooo tired of offering kids a choice of a cold veggie or a hot veggie. No one listens. You repeat yourself continuously. And responses often do not include Yes, please or No thank you.

Kids notice everything. Change your haircolor they will notice. Wear bannana earings and they will notice. Nearly drop the pizza and they will definately notice.

Don't try to scare the pee out of someone unless your bladder is empty. My co worker scared me and almost wet herself. This caused me to laugh randomly the rest of the day.

Confetti Fries.. This is our version of a healthy fry. It is regular fries mixed with sweet potatoe fries. Um...this week they battled it out against carrots and when the kids loudly proclaimed fries. Many asked why I mixed the carrots in with them. Something about an orange fry...

I am a rock star. I read a book called Lunch Bunnies to a class of kindergarteners today. I love how they cheer my name and are always glad I came.

Now to get paid like a rock star.

What did you learn this week?

OUCH! What's the last thing your child cried about?

2011-10-13T22:25:00.002-04:00

There was a time in my life when I had three children under five.

The house was filled with crying. Honestly, most of it was me.

Of course, as my children grew the crying was slowly replaced with whining and I became pretty good at deciphering when the cry was real and when the cry was not.

Now a days, my 12 year old whines....A LOT.

She doesn't often cry, and when she does she likely has a good reason..

Today the cry was real and I wasn't there.

Today strangers came to her aid after she dropped a drafting tablet on her foot. The corner of the tablet landed directly on her great toe and she was wearing open toe sandals.

To say her toe was a bloody mess seems anti-climatic.

I am very thankful to the three teachers that ran to her help her. I thought it was exceptionally nice that one of them called her at home this evening to make sure she was well.

She is in a shoe similar to the one I wore this summer after I broke my foot in an inflatable bounce house What can I say?

Like mother like daughter...

Mama Kat is Famous!

Things you shouldn't buy at the dollar store

2011-10-12T17:12:00.001-04:00

There are certain things that you should be willing to spend more than $1 on. Those things include the following.

A pregnancy test. Seriously? Um. I think you should spend more than a buck finding out if you're going to be a mother.

Condoms. See above. If you don't want to have to buy a pregancy test than you shouldn't get your birth control from The Dollar Tree.

Ovulation predictor. If you really want a baby, spend more than $1 to find out if your ovulating.

Make up. Um...this seems self explanatory.

Underwear. I really don't think those $1 panties are gonna last very long, but maybe I'm wrong about that.

Meat. I don't care if it's on a stick, in a jar or near the check out. Buying meat at the $1 store is just ridiculous.

Backpacks. Do you really think this is gonna last?

Outerwear. Hats, gloves, jackets. Um, people, it's $1. How warm can it be?

In conclusion, the dollar store should not be utilized in the event of a weather related emergency, or for any type if meat product you may consume. It certainly shouldn't be used to predict ovulation, prevent pregancy and or detect it.

What's the strangest thing you bought at the dollar store?

A short note to Walmart

2011-10-11T23:06:00.001-04:00

Dear Walmart

It is October. Put the Christmas AWAY.

Put this black Christmas tree away for good.

Seriously? Who would buy a black Christmas tree?

-kisa-

Lessons from the Lunchlady: peas please

2011-10-07T16:22:00.001-04:00

This week the sun returned to Pennsylvania and lifted my mood greatly.

Here are a few things I learned.

Silverware chutes are fun. We've had kids put their trays down the chute and plastic ware down the chute. This week we had a cute little Spoon from the movie Cars come down for a visit.

Green beans....um corn. Nope these are peas. It continues to amaze me (and sometimes sadden me) how often the kiddos at our school do not recogonize the vegetable of the day.

Five digit numbers + kindergarteners = headache. At breakfast the students are asked to memorize their student ids so we can easily check them out for breakfast. It's a form of torture trying to teach each number to the kindergartners.

Would you like a super salad? Yes, please. The problem? My boss was asking would you like soup or salad. The kids couldn't figure what made the salad super.

What temperature is my milk? We had a third grader ask us if his milk was the right temperature...um seriously? You should have seen his face when my manager stuck a thermometer right down in it. 41 degrees. Perfect!

In conclusion, remember only school silverware goes down the chute. Peas look nothing like corn. Five digit numbers should not be given to the five year olds. Try salad or soup...it might be less confusing and never ask a person with access to a thermometer what temperature your milk is unless you really wanna know.

What did you learn this week?

Are you reserving a space for me?

2011-10-06T23:13:00.001-04:00

I have mixed feelings about this quote. In some ways I think there is a lot of truth to it.

Being the only person making an effort to maintain a friendship will not work.

That being said, friendship takes work.

You can't expect to stay friends without a little give and take. In my opinion, the problem lies in the definition of "friend".

Let's clear it up.

A friend is someone you can share ups and downs with.

A friend is someone who knows your quirks and likes you anyway.

A friend is someone who will listen to you ramble on about the problems you are having at work and nod in agreement with you.

A friend is someone who can order your lunch without asking what you want.

A friend is someone who hurts when you hurt.

A friend is NOT someone you sat beside in English class 21 years ago and haven't talked to since.

A friend is NOT someone who stops talking to you over a simple disagreement.

A friend is NOT someone who needs you more than you need them.

A friend is NOT someone who keeps track of wrongs.

Friendships come down to the golden rule, just treat other people the way you would like to be treated and most of them will do the same.

The others, well, they aren't worth the effort.

Signs -- um seriously

2011-10-05T21:59:00.001-04:00

I have always been under the impression that usually people don't have stupid rules unless they have an actual reason to and quite frankly I am terrified by the mere thought!

A eulogy for Patrick the Hermit Crab

2011-10-04T21:27:00.001-04:00

It is time to reflect on the life of our recently departed hermit crab, Patrick. Patrick was a cranky little critter who was often forgotten in our home. His longevity of four years is mind boggling.

What I will remember most about him was his ability to escape and be found days later alive. Still not sure how he did that.

We will miss his forever digging, his amazing pinching skills, the fact that he actually molted six times whilst he lived here causing us to assume he died repeatedly, and his solidarity. He never once asked for a roommate.

We will not miss the odor that eminated from his tank or his ability to only make noise in the middle of the night.

RIP Patrick. Here's hoping that your resting somewhere salty and sandy.

Weekend Update: Hello Fall

2011-10-03T21:49:00.000-04:00

My BFF and I took our husbands to the PA Renaissance Faire for some adult only fun.

We had a good time but as you can see from my sexy hat, the weather has changed from Poolside Party to Crap it's Cold.

We had some drinks, saw some funny shows, watched a human chess match and saw an overly dramatic joust. It was a fun way to spend a Sunday.

Saturday was also cold. The in laws were visiting and we managed to actually squeeze in a soccer game. The first game Middle G has played in this season. Two were cancelled for flash flooding and the other one we were at a wedding.

Even though her mom told her is was damn cold outside this is how Middle G. dressed.

Does she look cold?

What does mom know anyway? We found some sweatpants in the van and for awhile she actually wore them. Of course, keeping them on would have been admitting she was wrong.

Friday night was a blast. Went to a breast cancer fundraiser with a bunch of friends. Danced a little, ate a little and drank a little. Late night filled with tons of fun--one of those evenings where your face hurts from smiling and laughing so much.

How was your weekend?

Lessons from the lunchlady: don't ask one more question!

2011-09-30T17:03:00.001-04:00

Once a month we are allowed to have a nervous breakdown and this week I had mine. Here are just a few reasons why.

TOO MANY QUESTIONS: My coworker asked just one too many questions on Thursday. Usually I can block this out but for some reason the fact that she asked 52 questions about sausage before 10 am set me off.

SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE THIS. What is it? That be the rotten orange at the bottom of the box.

IT AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE: I will be the first to admit that the cafeteria doesn't attract the most intelligent employees but do they really need to be this specific on the pizza box? Really?

YOU CAN HEAT THE BISCUTS BUT... you can't make them eat em. After being told repeatedly that heating the rolls would be a HUGE pain, this week we heated biscuts to serve with popcorn chicken. In case you didn't know biscuts and rolls are clearly not the same. Kids throw them away just the same

iROAR BUBBLES BLOW. I helped at an iRoar assembly this week and got stuck at the bubble station. 200 kids and soapy water. What could go wrong?? Even though it was messy, I must admit it was tons of fun!

In conclusion, knock off the questions, keep your hands off the moldy oranges, follow the instructions percisely, warm biscuts are way better than cold rolls and, while messy, bubbles can always make you smile.

What did you learn this week?

Three types of parents...which one are you?

2011-09-28T21:51:00.000-04:00

My co-worker and I were able to come up with three types of parents. Sure, there are mostly like thousands of subgroups, but in general, they all fall under one of these three groups.

Like me, my kid isn't perfect and will make mistakes. This group is the most reasonable. This is the group you want to be in. This is the group that realizes that at some point their child is gonna disappoint them. This group takes into account that we have all had EPIC fails and it is safe to bet our children will too. What we hope is that, like us, our children learn from them.

Not my child. This group is raising kids who do nothing wrong. Kids who are wrongly punished. Kids who would never step out of line, unless of course, provoked. Once provoked, retaliation is not only warranted but completely encouraged. This "it was not my fault" mentality follows them into adulthood. It stands to reason that, like their parents, they will always be the victim of circumstances.

I have kids? This group is mocked for their incompetency. They have little interest in the small people referring to them as "mom" or "dad" and can't be bothered with simple things like providing appropriate attire.

Your thoughts?

What is the opposite of poverty?

2011-09-27T22:40:00.001-04:00

A recent discussion prompted me to ponder "how much is enough?"

It is human nature to want more. It is human nature to want what others have.

But lets be serious. Having what you want and what you need are different. Most of us have MORE than what we need but not all we want.

Why is this so hard to comprehend?

Why is it so hard To teach our kids?

So tell me, my friends, what is the opposite of poverty? The answer is having enough.

Do you have enough?

It's true...I am guilty of sterotyping and I admit it

2011-09-26T21:30:00.001-04:00

This weekend I had to visit the Apple store as my iPhone decided to stop picking up wifi. It would find a weak signal at home, but it couldn't find anything else. Nothing. Nada.

I realized that I was in for a long wait when I got there at 11:20 and the first available appointment was 12:40. When I returned and was still sitting there at 1 p.m, I started to get a little frustrated.

All around me were people with various problems. Their home button wouldn't work, their microphone wouldn't work, their screens were broke, their phones got wet. I sat patiently watching as 20 something year old techs helped person after person.

I couldn't wait for one of these young tech savy boys to fix my phone.

But they didn't. Flo did.

When my name was called by a much older woman, I caught myself thinking "What can she possibly know about my phone?"

Great. This is gonna be a waste of time.

Flo took the sterotype I didn't even realize I had and shattered it. After some quick diagnostics remenicent of Star Trek she came to the conclusion that the wifi wire was likely loose.

She took the phone, operated on it and brought it back to me like new.

In short, I love Flo...who says great techs can't have gray hair?

Lessons from the lunchlady: pass the speckled grapes

2011-09-23T19:53:00.000-04:00

photos credit Terry Border

It's time again to review what we learned in the school cafeteria this week.

Paper Trays can be confusing. We were down an employee as my boss took a couple personal days. Because it was just the two of us we served on paper trays. It makes me smile when I see the kindergartners lining up at the dish window to drop their plastic spoon and paper tray. They look so confused when I tell them they can throw those away too.

Are you her other grandma? A second grader asked my co-worker if she was another students grandmother. I nearly died of laughter as my co-worker is only in her early 40s. Ouch...grandma should be a four letter word.

Bye Bye Milk. We now have to provide water in a fancy-dancy jug for all the kids to ~~play with~~ use. Unfortunately, because it is such a novelty, those little buggers have taken to tossing out their milk. We probably had at least 60 unopened milks tossed each day this week.

Kiwi and Pizza. Our fresh fruit today was sliced kiwi. I was convinced that few would take it but much to my surprise we ran out before the end of lunch. I heard a few kindergartners talking about the weird "grapes" and how good they were. Um...at least they tried it.

In this corner...strawberry milk. We've been in school for one whole month. In a never before seen event, strawberry milk is kicking chocolate milk's butt. Nearly the entire incoming kindergarten class is drinking pink milk. They've told me that "it's willy good." I'm not so sure.

In conclusion, we learned that when in doubt take it to the dish room, pink milk is better than chocolate milk but water wins hands down when it comes out of a cute little dispenser, kiwi can be confused with a grape and you are never to young to look like someones grandma.

That last one still makes me shudder.

What did you learn this week?

Wordless Wednesday: Cedric the lunchlady

2011-09-21T19:47:00.001-04:00

RemembeRed: sisterly love

2011-09-20T22:26:00.001-04:00

The gravel crackled beneath my sneakers.

The crisp fall wind tousled my hair and felt cool in my lungs.

I was running away.

I felt like I could run forever. I would never let her catch up. I would run until I ran around the world before I would ever let her catch up. I was gonna be first!

"Stop!" she hollered.

"Wait for me!"

Her six year old legs couldn't compete with my 10 year old legs.

My arms were swinging. The wind was making my eyes water. That crackling gravel got louder. The laces in my sneakers worked their way undone. In seconds I was falling, sliding towards the sewer grate.

It was broken. Unsafe. A part of it was missing. My leg went down through the grate and I couldn't pull it back out.

Blood was seeping from both my legs, my elbows and my chin.

She could of kept running. She could have caught the ice cream truck, but she didn't.

She stopped. She was crying too. The ice cream was long forgotten.

She tried to pull me free but she could not. Her little six year old legs ran all the way home to get dad. He yanked me free, pulling most of the skin off of my right shin.

Bandaged in many spots but feeling the love of family.

RemembeRed

An Open Letter to Time

2011-09-19T22:02:00.001-04:00

Dear time,

What is up with you? You seem a little speedy lately. You seem a little impatient.

I'm only one person and quite frankly I feel a little spread thin.

Between lunchlady land and reporting, I haven't been able to scrapbook a single page.

You flew by me this weekend.

Granted we traveled for a wedding and that was tons of fun but I thought we agreed that you would stop a little after I got home so I could catch up on my laundry and other household chores.

For crying outloud have you seen the toilets?

Can you give me a freakin moment to clean the toilets. You have me running from work to PTO, to school board meeting, to soccer and back. Tomorrow let's sprinkle in a little middle school band uniform fittings. Um...I don't know how to fit a band uniform.

When am I suppose to visit my bloggy friends? When am I supposed to update my facebook? I feel like you are being unreasonable.

For goodness sake slow down a little. It just dawned on my that Little G's birthday is a month from today and quite frankly I'm not ready for that.

Irritated with you,

Kisa

Lessons from the Lunchlady: What about Bob?

2011-09-16T15:17:00.001-04:00

PHOTO CREDIT: Terry Border

It's Friday.

Time to recap what learned over the last five days in the school cafeteria.

Five days of this stuff is tiring after a week with just one and 1/2 work days.

Here's what I learned.

Line up right. She means it. My boss can't stand it when the kids aren't lined up right. They are supposed to come in PB&J first, than alternate lunch and then regular lunch. First grade was having a heck of time with this for some reason and my boss, who is convinced that these 6 year olds are switching lunches, says "I'm gonna check with your teacher to make sure this is what you all ordered." One little girl with her hands on her hips say, "Oh and she means it!"

Cheese food. Let's be serious. Nachos are something you get at the fair. In my opinion, they really aren't a lunch. Maybe a snack at a football game, but lunch seems like it's asking a lot. And goodness gracious that cheese frightens me. It doesn't even come off of things that are rinse in 180 degrees.

Fly away Frisbees. If you are gonna retaliate by throwing a foam Frisbee back at the janitor who just tossed it at you, it is best to know how to throw one. Odds are if you don't, then said Frisbee will careen out into the hallway and smack a kid.

Neatly stacked trays. If you are staff and you need a tray, removing any old tray from neatly stacked, organized and counted trays prior to lunch will not win you points in the lunch room. Get a tray from the tray rack...I'm using these ones.

Use your manners. If someone asks, "Would you like rice with that?" The proper response is "Yes, please." or "No Thank You." This week we heard the following... "eww, gross" "unah" "Nope" "Yep" "Sure" but the best one of all...."Oh my yes! I love rice. That would be fantastic. Thanks so much. I can't wait to eat this!"

Which, of course, made me think of this movie clip.

In conclusion, line up right, stay away from the cheese food, keep your hands off the trays, watch where you are throwing the frisbees and say please and thank you.

What did you learn this week?

Writer's workshop: Advice to new parents

2011-09-15T22:23:00.001-04:00

This week, mama kat challenged me to give some advice to new parents. Never wanting to pass up an opportunity to make a list, here is my advice.

Relax. This isn't gonna be easy. You will be sleep deprived. Your MIL will be telling you one thing and your mother will be telling you something else.

Babies cry. Some more than others. There isn't anything you can do about it. If you need to take five, you should,

Babies sleep. Some more than others. There is nothing you can do about it. Adding cereal to their diet..won't help. In fact, it might make it worse.

Do your best. What worked for your mom might not work for you. What worked for you might not work for me. All we can do is our best.

Enjoy it. Friends will promise you it will get easier, but I am here with the truth. Each age has different challenges but it also has really cool rewards. It is exhausting when the kids are newborns, but as they grow they reveal their unique personalities.

Oh don't get me wrong they will still exhaust you, but it will all be worth it.

An apathy towards fundraising

2011-09-14T21:35:00.001-04:00

I don't like fundraising.

Just like all parents I feel a little overwhelmed by the constant barrage of fliers and requests. It is only the 15th day of school and I have recieved the following:

PTO membership requests from Middle and Little Gs school.

A request for my Giant bonuscard number that will allow the schools to earn 1 percent. It can be split between two schools. My kids are in three different schools.

A request to purchase a mandatory gym uniform.

A kids stuff coupon book fundraiser.

A candy sale fundraiser.

A request for names of people who might want to sponsor my child in a walk-a-thon.

FBLA clothing sale and a tshirt sale at little Gs school.

Buy a book from the visiting author.

This doesnt include any sports related fundraising.

Umm...I am feeling a little overwhelmed. Granted not all of these are fundraisers. Often times it is hard to decipher which ones are and which ones aren't.

I can see why some parents just elect to wash their hands of it all. After all what do their taxes pay for.

Of course, since becoming more active in multiple PTOs I can tell you what your taxes don't pay for. They dont pay for field trips. They dont pay for fun fest or the yearbook or any classroom parties.

And what do you remember most about grade school? I'm guessing it's not social studies. But it might be that trip you took to D.C.

I feel a little torn by all the requests but I am trying to help as much as I can. I sold some kid stuff books, I bought a mandatory gym uniform, I joined and volunteer with two of the three PTOs (one of which I am the president), I said I'd chaperone a middle school dance which still makes me shutter, I provided middle Gs school with some potential sponsors and I will likely buy some district clothing (but honestly most of my wardrobe is black and orange).

But we wont be selling candy and we likely will not be getting a book from the visiting author.

Here's hoping that even in their apathy others will do the same because the $12,000 the PTO needs for field trips alone right now is looking like an unattainable possibility.

How do you feel about fundraising? What was the best one you ever participated in?

Five Reasons Walmart scares me

2011-09-13T23:17:00.002-04:00

I'm guessing that if you google Reasons to Avoid Walmart you will have a plethora of hits. Having just been to Walmart over the weekend I thought I would enlighten you as to what scares me the most.

The Bathroom. I am convinced that people actually go to Walmart just to use the bathroom. What they do in there, I can't even guess. I try to make sure that I do not have to go. I try to make sure that I haven't eaten or consumed any liquid before I go. What you can be sure of is that one of the bathrooms will be closed for cleaning and the other will have a line. There will be at least one broken toilet and one stall without a door. Um...really.
Random Breast sightings. How long does it take to put on a bra. I mean if we timed this activity how long could it possibly take? Yet many Walmart shoppers find this extra step too time consuming. Here's a little bit of advise...take it or leave it. If you are an exceptionally large breasted person and you have decided that putting a bra on is too much trouble, please refrain from wearing white.
Frequent child beat-downs. Did you ever notice that kids are always screaming at the Walmart and parents are always yelling at the Walmart? Of course, if you weren't shopping with your kid at 2 a.m., your child may not be melting down. Of course, I've been there at 2 p.m. and people of all ages were melting down so maybe it's just something in the air.
Return policy. Have you ever waited for customer service at Walmart? They will let you return anything there...open hamburger, underwear, swimsuits, frozen pizza. Um...I am terrified just thinking about where all this stuff goes.
Illogical locations. Why are the tampons near the milk? Who decided that the dog food should be near the laundry detergent? In what world is a it a good idea to put the shampoo in the middle of the pharmacy? Do a lot of people buy socks and pocketbooks at the same time?

In closing I'm leaving you with this...warning: if you watch it, you may never go to Walmart again.

Weekend Update: Ruckin' Fain

2011-09-12T18:13:00.001-04:00

This weekend was LONG. I am blaming it on the fact that after fleeing from flood waters at early dismissal on Wednesday we did not return to school until today. Holy Ruckin Fain!

After being trapped here for days I began to appreciate Noah as I was beginning to consider eating my young.

That being said, the waters are receeding and life is beginning to take on a little bit of normalcy for those of us that weren't effected by the flooding.

My good friend isn't one of those lucky uneffected people. Her finished basement literally collapsed! No shit! That's a little scary!

Spent part of the day yesterday helping her and felt so blessed that she and her family are okay. It's good to be reminded about what can't be replaced and what can be.

I heard some excellent advise today and I will close with it.

In panic situations, it is important to stop and think even more so. Because it is in those situations, when we just want to get there or we just want to get done, that we are most likely to make the biggest mistake.

Breathe deeply, my friends, and remember what really matters.

Lessons from the Lunchlady: oh my

2011-09-09T15:11:00.001-04:00

This week was overwhelming.

I don't think I have completely recovered from it.

As you know we had Monday off for Labor Day and the week started with a bang on Tuesday.

Here's what I learned.

Lock down freaks me out. Tuesday brought a lock down to our elementary, as well as all the neighboring schools, due to a bank robbery in the area. The armed robber got away on foot and as of today I believe he is still on the loose. Only idiots rob banks, especially armed.

Even computers need holidays. Tuesday started out with all computers taking an extra day off. It is difficult to ring up lunch when the computers are down. Thankful we only had to wing it at breakfast.

Row, row, row your boat. Wednesday brought on an early dismissal for flooding. The rain was overwhelming roads, bridges and homes. It was frightening. Lunch was move up to 10:30 and we needed to hustle. I have never seen this kind of flooding and we are still waiting for the river to crest.

When things are crazy...expect the unexpected. As we were rushing to prepare lunch for early release, the state inspector showed up. Seriously? I am proud to say that we received our third straight perfect inspection.

Short weeks can get shorter. It turns out that school can be cancelled after only 1 1/2 short days this week. Due to all the flooding, we did not have school Thursday or Friday. Here's hoping the snow takes it easy on us. We only have one more weather related emergency day and we've only been in school 10 days. Not a good sign.

In conclusion, I learned that bank robbers are not the smartest members of society, that just when you thought you couldn't serve lunch any sooner you can, that the state inspector loves to come during chaos, and that I'd rather be in school than trapped at home with my children for extended periods of time.

Stay safe out there. Life can change rather quickly.

Creek at the bottom of my development about to spill trash everywhere! Yuck.

An Open Letter to my son at the start of second grade

2011-09-08T14:22:00.001-04:00

Dear Little G.,

At the start of second grade, I wanted to write down some of my hopes and expectations for you.

Your age sneaks up on me. I think it is because you are the youngest. In my head you're my baby, but in reality you aren't a baby at all.

You are almost 8.

You are one of the oldest (and smallest) kids in your class.

I hope that second grade provides you with a better reading foundation. You still hate to read, which as a writer, breaks my heart.

You struggle with it and because of that you really don't like it.

I hope that second grade builds up your confidence and that you aren't so worried about what other people think. It's important to remember that it doesn't matter who finishes first or who has more written in their journal.

I hope that second grade shows you that it is okay to ask for help when you are struggling. I hope that you learn to ask more questions and to seek more answers.

I hope that second grade brings you more friends, more laughs and more adventures.

I hope that second grade is even better than 1st.

Love,

Mommy

Wordless Wednesday: flooding

2011-09-07T21:26:00.001-04:00

earthquakes, hurricanes and floods. Oh my!

Tuesday Tribute: 911-Where were you?

2011-09-06T20:09:00.000-04:00

The afternoon newspaper I write for is doing a series on 911 to commemorate the 10th anniversary.

As part of the series, the paper is asking citizens to recall where they were when they heard of the events. What they remembered feeling...what they remember thinking.

911 doesn't feel like ten years ago to me but I know it to be true because my daughter is ten years old and she was 2 months old when the towers fell. In fact, she was exactly two months old.

Middle G. was born June 11th. Before that September date. Before that time.

We were at the zoo.

The girls and I were meeting some friends at the zoo. We planned to spend the day there. To have lunch there.

I was listening to kid music in the car. We were singing along. We were, like so many others, just going about our day.

My husband was not traveling, but my friend's husband was.

When I got to the zoo, I remember wondering why so many people were still sitting in their cars. I soon came to realize that they were listening to the news. Listening live to the gasps of the reporters as the second plane flew into the towers.

We didn't know how serious it was. We thought it was an accident. We didn't know it was intentional. We didn't know that much hatred existed. We didn't know it could touch us.

The zoo announced it was closing at 10:30 "to honor our friends and family in New York." I still didn't understand.

Even as I was leaving the parking lot and heading home, I didn't understand. When I pulled safely into the driveway with my toddler and my infant and found my husband home from work, I didn't understand.

As I watched live the events unfolding in a field not far from where I grew up, I didn't understand.

Ten years later and I still don't understand.

Where were you when the towers fell and so much changed forever?