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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Once upon a time: The Doctor


This episode jumped the shark a little for me although I'm willing to over look it since it was a Halloween episode.

IN STORYBROOK

Dr. Whale's bizzare behavior continues and doesn't stop even after David punches him for sleeping with his wife. Awkward. In a true show of ballsyness, Whale busts into a session between Regina and Jiminy Cricket. He wants her to send him back to his brother. He wants to know why everyone wasn't transported. Regina says the dead were left behind.

Insert cheesy Halloween music.

As if to prove her own theory wrong, Regina begins to see the dead in STORYBROOK. Mainly Daniel, her one true love, whom she apparently has been keeping bio frozen in her mausoleum. Um...that's just a little gross.

In an effort to continue to give Henry a storyline, David asks him to care for a horse. This turns out to be pivotal in this weeks story. Dr. Whale is attacked by something random and, of course, Regina finds him.

He tells her that he brought Daniel back to life but that he isn't Daniel. He's a monster.

Insert cheeses Halloween music.

Regina realizes that Daniel will likely try to find her at the stables since the last place he will recall seeing her is similar. Gasp! Henry will be there caring for a horse. I wonder is FrankenDaniel will harm him.

Both Regina and David rush off to find him. They save Henry last minute and David decides to put Daniel down. Like a sick horse, he needs to be euthanized. Regina protests. He loves her. He won't harm her.

It's sad scene follows that involves Daniel choking Regina and begging her to let him go. He tells her to love again. She says goodbye and he turns to dust.

IN FAIRYTALE LAND

Mulan, sleeping beauty (SB) and Emma return to the village to find all but one slaughtered. They have had their hearts removed. The only survivor? Captain Hook.

Sweet niblets...that guy is fine!!


There is a lovely scene between Hook and Emma that involves her almost cutting him through. She knows he is lying and plays him because of it. He eventually spills the entire story and offers his services to the trio.

He will help them find the enchanted compass. He will lead them there. In return, they must take him to their land with them so that he may kill the man wo took his hand....rumplestiltskin.

The women agree and Hook leads them to a beanstalk.

Meanwhile, back in the forest, Regina is training with Rumple. He wants her to kill a unicorn but she simply cannot do it. I mean they are the purest of all animals. Drinking their blood will allow you to live even in the gravest if situations, but at a cost. Oh wait...that's Harry Potter. My bad.

Rumple says she isn't ready to wield the power that comes from the dark arts. He dismisses her.

Enter Jefferson, because if we can't keep your attention with plot, we'll definately keep it with nice to look at actors. Damn. I mean, damn.


Jefferson is talking random nonsense a out nothing with Rumple in front of Regina and he overhears her ask about a spell to bring someone back from the dead.

Rumple says "dead is dead". It sounded something like this.


But alas' Jefferson says that is not the case. He knows the wizard. He can fetch him for her and he will raise her love from the dead.

The wizard??

Dumbledore? Nope Whale. How many we're disappointed it wasn't Dumbledore. So Whale shows up with this creepy accent and a desire for a magically heart.

Regina takes them to her mothers vault where she tells them her mother was sort of a collector and offers Whale any heart he wants.

Whale puts on quite a show, complete with lightening, but tells Regina that he cannot raise Daniel from the dead. Regina is crushed. She returns to Rumple in the black entire of a widow only to find him training her replacement. She pulls her heart out and crushes it. Rumple is delighted.

Of course, Regina has been played by not only Rumple but also Whale and Jefferson. He never tried to put the heart in and has kept it for himself so he can use it to bring his brother back to life. Jefferson's loyalties are questionable.

The episode ends with Dr. Frankenwhale bringing his brother to life. Complete with a HE'S ALIVE. There was even an Egor. It was just a little too much for me.

I'd rather it been Dumbledore.

But redemption lies ahead... Next week Jorge Garcia joins the cast as the giant at the top of the beanbag. One of my favorite LOST cast members and I can't wait to see the life he breathes back into this storyline.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Hurricane Sandy: you have over stayed your welcome

Seems my county is about to have an extended visit from Hurricane Sandy. She's one big old pile of wind and rain. It's already been raining since yesterday. Sump pump is already running.

Wind is starting to pick up.

No school today.

Already cancelled for tomorrow.


My mums are not going to make it. Especially this one.


My yard is getting kind of mushy.


I'm hoping my little trees make it and my fence. But as with a good old fashioned blizzard there really isn't much we can do except ride it out.

Fingers crossed that the electric stays on!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: just keep smiling...

This week included the launch of new software, multiple days of training and a Halloween dance party.

Here's what I learned:

Smiley fries always keep smiling. It seems that no matter how we try to torture them, they just keep right in smiley. We should all strive to be smiley fries.

No matter how pretty the veggies look they still go down the drain. It doesn't seem to matter how many colors you include or just how pretty the cups look. Just as many colorful ones find their way down the garbage disposal. Hey, Michelle Obama, I can make them take it, but I can't make them eat it!


Crazy sock day. It's red ribbon week. The time of the year when we learn about drugs and why we shouldnt do them. In order to celebrate it, we wear different items each day. Team jerseys to "team up against drugs" and crazy mismatched socks so we can "sock it to drugs". It's always a good day when you can dress like you're at Walmart and still get paid.

Under no circumstances can you quit. I lost my mind a little when my coworker asked if she could quit. After a rousing speech that included all the reasons why she just could not quit, she told me she was simply talking about the computer program. At least she knows now just how much we love her.

Bagging it to Sandy. I've already been instructed to plan for a bagged lunch on Monday in case of an earlier release due to the Hurricane that is barreling down upon us. Here's hoping that the Frankenstorm is a Frankendud, but it doesn't look like its gonna be.... Praying we all make it through safe and sound!

What did you learn this week?



Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Help! I need a name....

Look at me! Ain't I cute?

I came on Saturday to live with my new family and they still haven't picked out a name for me.

My foster mom was calling me Darby.

Little G wants to call me Fishy.

Oldest G liked Ashes until others pointed out it sounded like, well, something else.

For awhile, they called me Sharpie (like the marker) but... turns out it, ironically, wasn't permanent.

Mommy was obsessed with the Adams Family and suggested things like Wednesday and Mortisha. But they really don't fit my cute, playful personality.

Friends have suggested Midnight, Sunday and Blackie.

Mommy is now trying to convince the kids that "Inky" is really cute and one of her favorite pacman characters.

Sigh???

Do you have a great unique name suggestion???

Saturday, October 20, 2012

An open letter to my son on his 9th birthday

Dear Little G,

Age is a sneaky thing which is why I'm guessing its so hard for me to believe that I am 40 and you are nine.

It doesn't seem like it was that long ago when I said to your dad during church, "I think I'm in labor. Contractions are seven minutes apart." You were two weeks early and we were both kind of relieved that we didn't have to stay for that church pot luck/congregational meeting.

Flash forward and here we are nine years later and I'm about to write some annual life lessons down for you. It's my hope that one day, you look back on them with a smile and maybe a knowing nod.

It's important to remember that effort matters. If you're gonna do a half assed job, you're gonna get half assed results. If the project is worth your time, it is worth your effort.

Always be carefree. I love the fact that you're not afraid to wear a birthday crown or dance when the music moves you. Sometimes as we grow older, we forget the importance of fun. We forget to laugh at ourselves. We forget how to dance. Don't let that happen to you.

Step outside of your comfort zones. I hate sports but I'm playing against the Harlem Wizards in a PTO event because a friend asked me to. Will I likely embarrass myself and laugh about it for years to come? Without a doubt. But those are the little things that make life fun. The moments where you can say, "Remember when...." Don't miss out on a remember when.

Follow your passion. I know what your thinking and it's true. I never sat in my third grade class and wrote down, "When I grow up, I wanna be a lunchlady". I'm sure none of your classmates did either. But here's what I know, I always wanted to work somewhere where I had a lot of fun, I always wanted to work somewhere where my coworkers and my boss were more like my friends, I always wanted to work somewhere where when I woke up I thought "I get to go to work today" instead of "I have to go to work today". Here's hoping that whatever you become you wake up thinking "I get to" instead of "I have to".

Be yourself. No matter where you're at or who your with, be true to yourself.

Your number one fan,

Mommy

Lessons from the lunchlady: sometimes you gotta wool with the punches

I'm convinced there was a full moon this week as we had a lot of significantly strange behavior and it's not snowing yet.

Here's what I learned.

Fire safety week. Nothing screams fire safety week like little kids proudly announcing to you that they know what to do if they catch on fire. "Stop, drop and wool. Thas what you need to do."

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. Sometimes I take breakfast to teachers. Sometimes I drop off pudding cups with cookies and cream whipped topping to someone I know might need a little pick me up. It never fails to make me smile when, like Norm from cheers, all the kids stop what they're doing to say my name. "Hello, Miss Wendy"

I've got a feeling. In a super odd move this week, I just got done saying that I thought it odd we had not seen the state inspector yet and within five minutes of my statement he was in the kitchen. All remains well in the cafeteria although I may have to have some service on the dishwasher. This is sort of a bonus as the dishwasher repairman is quite pleasant to look at.

Bampire bumpkins are hard to make. I'm usually pretty good at deciphering kid-speak, but when a first grader told his teacher he was making a bampire bumpkin it took me quite a while to figure out just what his Jack-o-lantern was going to look like.

Breakfast for lunch. Kids love pancakes and sausage. It continues to be our most popular meal with the least amount of alternates. It out scores pizza and that's saying a lot.

I also learned that I'm gonna miss having one of my own kids in the building. Here we are embarrassing my son with a birthday basket.


What did you learn this week?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Once Upon A Time: Lady of the Lake


I debated writing a review on this week's episode, but let's be serious we need to talk about how awesomely gorgeous Lancelot is.

This week we have a lot of locations and some time jumps so let's get on with it. Lets start with pre-curse Fairytale land where Charming and Snow spend an annoying amount of time kissing... and fighting bad guys.

King George remains angry with with his fake son Charming who he offered everything to only to be dissed. Hence all the fighting. A midst all the fighting Lance kidnaps Snow and hauls her to King George.

George offers refreshments and proceeds to have a lengthy dialogue with Snow about why things went downhill in his life. Starting with a curse making it impossible for his wife to have children offered in the form of a refreshing drink. Who drinks anything offered to them by their kidnapper?

Needless to say, now Snow is cursed with the no babies curse and Hotty Pants Lance is kind if jacked off about it so he wants to help her. All of King George's men are about to head off Charming and his sweet mother Ruth at her cabin. Even though Charming begs her to remain inside while he dies for her she ends up with an arrow to the chest.

Charming, Lance, Snow and Ruth venture to visit with the scary Lady of the Lake seeking her healing powers. Sadly, she's all dried up.

But alas Lancelot to the rescue!

Lance finds a tiny swallow full of water. Charming wants to give it to his mom but while they were looking for it Snow told Ruth what happened to her and how she won't be able to conceive. Ruth wants Snow to drink it but Snow knows that this will not win her favor with Charming. Nothing like pulling the "who do you love more card" the first time you meet mommy.

Ruth pretends to drink the water and gets Snow and Charming to marry as her last wish. Lancelot agrees to perform the ceremony and gets Snow to drink the water.


The Storybrooke storyline was a little lame for me. David is coming up with a plan to find Mary Margaret and Emma by walking around aimlessly and putting Henry back in school.

Henry thinks his plan is stupid and decides to find Jefferson. Jefferson is apparently depressed and afraid to seek out his daughter. Henry tells him to grow up and go see her. Jefferson says check out your moms vault. Henry tricks Regina into handing over her keys and manages to let some snakes out.

David saves him but it was all very anticlimactic. They have a fake sword fight while David's fake dad watches from a far. What will King George do?

Back on the Enchanted island Snow and Emma are still in the pit with Cora. She is pretending to be a concerned mother and is getting Emma to reveal a lot of info. Snow puts the cabosh on that and tells her that whatever Regina is, Cora is worse.

The leader of the island campground summons them and Snow is delighted to find out it is Lancelot. Yeah...more Lance.

Aurora still wants to kill Snow and Mulan still hates everyone. Lancelot asks Mulan to take Snow and Emma through the Enchanted forest and to keep them safe from the ogres. Apparently, those blind bandits are wrecking havoc.

Snow has a plan to travel back through the waredrobe. Back to Storybrooke. After some sad CG ogres, the women escape and make it to Snow's former homestead. Aurora is now with them as her failed attempt to kill Snow has led her to reconsider her need for friendship.

Once inside the castle, Lance appears. Snow is happy to see him, but he seems exceptionally interested in the waredrobe. Turns out Lance is just Cora in disguise and that is such a disappointment. I am hoping Sinqua Walls returns to this role in the future as he is a pleasure to watch. Snow, Cora and Emma battle. Emma sets the waredrobe on fire and Cora vanishes.

The women trek back to camp to break the news to the other rebels that Lance was just a figment of their imagination. I'm sure many will be heartbroken.

Cora reappears and gathers the waredrobe's ashes. Whatever will she make?

Next week. Captain Hook, who is also easy on the eyes.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: I only wike gween beggies


I've been kind of off the grid this week. I'm so busy... And now I really don't feel that great.

Anyway, here's what I learned in the cafeteria.

Ask and you shall recieve. When a little kindergartener told me that he would wuv some beggies but he only wiles the gween ones I just had to fill his cup with cucumbers.

PB&J is missing today. So there was a large voluntary peanut butter recall this week. LARGE. if you eat it, you should google it. Anyway, I actually had to destroy Smuckers uncrustables by dumping bleach on them to protect anyone who might be dumpster diving. Um.. If you're eating out of the dumpster aren't you assume a certain amount of risk??

Broccoli dippers vs green beans. It's official. No one likes green beans. If raw broccoli wih a little cup of ranch dip can beat you, than you're pretty pathetic.

Milk... Oh how you vex me. I can't seem to order the right amount of milk to save my life. Just when I think I've got it figured out our breakfast count doubles and all those kiddos take white milk. I was told that if I only offered white milk they'd just keep walking. Um... That, my friends, is not true.

Expect the unexpected. Sometimes you a blessed with student writings declaring that if they were the principal they would demand NO MORE BROCCOLI and other times you get cards thanking you for the awesome Mac and Cheese.

Like my orange dress?

What did you learn this week??
Monday, October 8, 2012

Made by me Monday: invites and thank yous

I was trying to decide what to make for my son's birthday invites when I came across these cute Halloween boxes in the Target $ section.

I hit AC Moore up for the paper and went to work. Each card front is 4 1/4 by 5 1/2. They were super easy to make with basically just hair and circles to cut out.

For the scar, I used sticklers.

Please feel free to pin my work as I have no idea how to ad a pin it button.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Lessons from the lunchlady: you said underwear (snicker, snicker)

Our yummy black beans!

This week was a pile of chaos wrapped around some lunch. We had a TON of laughs, some stray teeth and a lot of trouble understanding each other.

Look at the bread and stop calling me BIMBO. Seriously? Who names a bread company BIMBO? Every time they come to the door, I think they're calling me a name. Also, it's important to look at what they deliver or else you might find out that they dropped off a boatload of hamburger rolls when you were expecting bread for toasted cheese.

Is there teef in these beans? Due to the Healthy Hunger Free Kids Act of 2012 I have additional bean requirements. Last week we tried refried beans and this week black beans were on deck. Since black beans alone are a little bland, I decided to mix in a little salsa and corn. Fan.freakin.tastic! All the grown ups, LOVED it. The kids...um...well they are all about appearance. One little boy asked if the corn was teeth. Seriously?

You said underwear... Like small children, when my coworker and I got a teacher to say underwear we burst into gut busting laughter. She was looking for plates and I told her they were under the table. She said, "under where?" Bahahahahahaha

Apparently I can't hear the difference between pudding and pooping. When my coworker disappeared while serving I thought she said she went pooping and I was like WTF? But what she said is that she was going for pudding! Talk about a snort laugh!

Miss Wendy, what does ripped mean? Me: "It's kind of like when you have a lot of muscles. People say your ripped." Third grader "Oh..then why is it on that grave stone." Dohl... Stupid Halloween decorations making me look like an idiot.

What did you learn this week?

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Intentional acts of kindness

I'm working on this brain retrain where you teach yourself to focus on the good and not the bad.

It's a lot of fun and I can truly see how it makes you feel better. The things I've been doing are simple at best. Checking in on my grandma, emailing those close to me and telling them what they mean to me, buying a child a book, sending my mom a package.

If your not playing along, I highly recommend it. Focus on the good things in your life. The time you have with family, the time you made a teacher say "underwear", the time someone surprised you with a monetary donation for your kid. The time you aunt called to check on you and your kid. The time your daughter made you belly laugh. The time you had cheesecake for your 16th anniversary.

What are you grateful for today?



Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Once Upon A Time: Broken

Storybrook:

This season opens in storybrook right where last season ended. Magic is coming. I had high expectations for this episode and it really fell flat for me.

The purple smoke arrives and suddenly everyone remembers who they are. Hugs abound. Old wounds, like the fact that Charming thought you capable of cold blooded murder, are forgotten.

A super cheesy moment between Charming and Snow and Emma occurs that concludes with Henry calling them grandma and grandpa. Gag.

Dr. Hopper aka jiminy cricket come running asking for help. Please stop the angry mob from killing Regina. Seriously?

Our fearless threesome agrees to save the evil queen. Why? We're not sure. It looks like Dr. Whale is the most upset but again the reason behind that seems unclear. Oddly, even though everyone's memories have returned. Regina's magic seems to still be missing.

Emma remands Regina to custody and puts her in the only jail cell in town.

Meanwhile, Belle has been reunited with Rumple who is overjoyed with the prospect of having her around again. He is harboring a deep hatred for Regina and hopes to seek revenge. Belle doesn't want him to hurt anyone.

Rumple promises but then concocted a plan that would allow him to bring a dementor to town to suck the soul out of Regina. Seriously? What fairy tale is this?

Rumple digs out a spooky charm and heads over to the jail where he puts the charm in Regina's hand and tells her that she'll now get what she deserves.

Regina is marked and now waits for her soul to be sucked. When the dementor arrives Snow, charming and Emma fight it off and the. The four of them devise a plan to send it back.

This plan involves the mad hatters hat, Regina's inability to do magic unless Emma touches her and really bad CG. It ends with Snow and Emma being sucked into the vortex too and landing in the fairy tale land.


Meanwhile back in fairy tale land...

Mulan looks like she wants to run a few people through. Starting with Sleeping Beauty. The opening scene shows a stranger receiving a letter simply stating "broken".

We then join Phillip and Mulan at the bedside of SB. Sleep is about to be kissed by Phillip and Mulan, although her face is concelled, appears agitated.

Shortly after the kiss of life, the threesome are attacked by a dementor. Great. More bad CG.

Philip becomes marked by the same bracelet that marked Regina. He knows his time is limited. He attempts to lead the women back to safety but soon realizes that he must leave them

There's a lot of making out and why not? Did you see Prince Philip?


After sticking his tongue down SBs throat, he goes off into the forest to pretend to gather firewood but we all know he's going to meet his fate with the dementor.

Mulan isn't about to sit around and let this happen even if she knows that Phillip will never stick his tongue down her throat.

She leaves SB behind and try's to find Phillip. SB follows. Great. Just what we need to make the battle complete--a girl in a dress.

Philip gets his soul sucked and Mulan and SB return to the castle just in time for the arrival of Emma and snow.

Tune in next week to find out if this is going to get better or not...

What did you think if the first episode?

Monday, October 1, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Bonus Vlog

 
There are a couple of reasons I don't normally Vlog.
 
The number one reason?  I can't stand the sound of my voice on tape.  Do I really sound like that?  Why do people talk to me? 
 
But because I love all of you and because I'm hoping you will share this masterfully edited piece with your friends, I'm sharing this vlog with all of you.
 
Besides, it's hard to look that good in a hairnet.
 
P.S. Jon--our salad dressing choices include lite Italian, low fat ranch, raspberry vinaigrette, country french and 1000 island.  Am I missing your favorite? :-)
 
 
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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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