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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Tuesday Tribute: Please remind me who I really am

I have been mocked numerous times for my love of all things Kelly Clarkson. I don't care. Mock me if you must, but I love her music.

My friend, B, & I have seen her multiple times and we'd go see her again if she were anywhere in PA tomorrow.

We drove about three hours to see her on Saturday and it was fantastic. I loved how she opened the show with a song off her new album called Dark Side. The gist of the song is that we all have a dark side and the question is that if once you know it, will you love the person anyway?

At the concert, the stage is draped with a sheer curtain. On the curtain are images projected of all the negative publicity Kelly has received over her decade long career. Kelly is Fat, Kelly has a makeup mishap, Kelly's album not up to par. The words are repeated over and over. As she belts out the lyrics from behind the sheer curtain, when she gets to the verse "please remind me who I really am" the drape disappears and the cheers from the crows erase all the negative comments.



Do you have someone who reminds you who you really are? Do you have someone who loves you even though they know about your dark side?

We all need someone to chase away our critics!


Monday, January 30, 2012

Once Upon A Time: Fruit of the Poisonious Tree

I wasn't sure what to expect from this week's episode as I have yet to figure out how I feel about Sydney Glass.

In Storybrook, the episode opens with Henry trying to bury his beloved storybook at his play castle. Last week's storm apparently damaged the play area and when Regina find Emma and Henry there she blasts Emma for allowing him to play in such a dangerous area.

The foreshadowing begins when Regina tells Emma to not allow her feelings for Henry to cloud her judgment.

Regina whisks Henry off to see Doc Hopper and Emma runs into Sydney at the diner. He is drunk and says he can help her bring down the mayor. She takes his card but tells him to go home.

Apparently just to keep the ratings up, we briefly see Mary Margaret and David on a secret picnic. We are not certain how far their relationship has developed, but we know there is a lot of kissing and some wine involved.

Curiousity gets the better of Emma and she contacts Sydney to find out what dirt he has on the mayor. Together this dumb and dumber team manage to bug the mayor's office, follow her to the woods, get their breaks cut, learn that she bought land from Gold, break into her office and make fools out of themselves at the city council meeting.

They accuse Regina of stealing money from the city to build a house and she counters with no it's a safe playground. She bulldozed the other playground and Henry's book went AWOL earlier in the episode.

Seriously?

It looks like Regina wins again. Just when you think Sydney may not be a scoundrel, we learn that he is working on gaining Emma's trust so he can report his findings to Regina. Mirror, mirror, who's the most annoying of them all?

In Fairytale land...

We learn that mirror mirror was a genie in a lamp. Um...this was a stretch for me. When Snow's dad found him and imediately wished for his freedom, I was really concerned about this storyline,

When he gave him his wishes and Genie said that no good has ever come from any of the wishes he has granted I began to wonder if that too was some foreshadowing.

Snow's dad brings the newly freed genie home for diner and introduces him to snow and Regina. I thought it interesting that EQ is Regina in both storybrooke and fairytale land.

Regina knows immediately that the genie is in love with her. I think the king suspects. Genie give the queen a mirror so she can always see herself they way he sees her...as the fairest in the land.

The king finds her diary and it details the gift exchange. He asks the genie to find out who gave his wife the mirror. He locks Regina in he quarters. Regina's father gives the genie a box and asks him to deliver it to her.

It is filled with Agraba Vipers. One bite and you die. Sort of like an apple but different. She tells Genie that her father has sent them to allow her to escape to another life. He suggests that she live and the king die.

He takes the snakes to the kings quarters and releases them. He kills the man who set him free. The king dies wishing he never made that wish.

The genie is happy, but soon he comes to find out that the queen used him. She knew that since the snakes were from his homeland he would be blamed. He takes out his lamp and decides to use his last wish to keep them together.

Seriously? He told the king that no good has ever come from any wish he has ever granted. The king's wish was selfless yet he died by the genie's hand. Yet still the genie wishes to be able to see his love everyday.

Hence, he wishes himself into the mirror.

Very reflective.

The episode ends with Emma keeping her distance from Henry and the book of fairytales ending up in the hands of our mysterious Storybrooke visitor. This fact lends me to believe even more that perhaps he really is one of the Brothers Grimm.

Next week Emilie de Ravin joins the cast as Belle. Fellow Losties like myself will remember her as Claire! SO EXCITED to see the chemistry between Emilie and Robert Carlyle, who will be portraying a Rumplelized version of the Beast!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Is there sausage in the sausage?

This week there was laughter, forgetfulness, singing, dancing and downright silliness and I haven't even told you about the kids.

Here's what I learned.

There is such a thing as a free lunch. I've always been under the impression that there was no such thing as a free lunch but apparently we even offer coupons. I had no idea!

Changing lunch always causes confusion. Some of our students were exceptionally disappointed when they thought we were having popcorn chicken and it turned out we were having egg sandwiches. Um...which came first the chicken or the egg?

Cooking is a job requirement. It's always a little unnerving when you realize that lunch starts in 45 minutes and you have forgotten to make a major portion of it. It also makes you laugh...a lot.

pomegranate slushies make messes. Turns out deep purple slushy messes on spoons will make slasher streaks on the wall near the silverware chute. Sort of like a scene from CSI.

Is there sausage in this sausage? A third grader asked me if there was cooked sausage in his sausage link. I was somewhat confused by the question so he clarified, "Are these like the sausages you get at home where you just have to heat em up?" umm...yes. Our sausage linker is broken... :-)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Writer's Workshop: work vs. stay at home

My oldest child will soon be thirteen, which continues to boggle my mind. She' on the far right in the picture above.

When we were expecting, my husband really wanted me to stay home after our baby arrived. I will be honest with you, I wasn't really excited about the idea. The thought of being alone all day long with an infant depending on me for her survival sounded terrifying. Little did I know that the infant part was the easy part.

We were 6 hours away from our closest family. My husband's mom stayed home throughout most of his childhood. My mom always worked. I don't remember her staying at home. I remember my grandmother caring for us until we were school aged.

I think if I would have actually liked my job, the decision may have been harder. I think if I had actually made enough money to justify childcare than perhaps I would have put up more of an argument, but alas I stopped working 4 days before I had my oldest.

The first month was ok. My hubby was off the first week. We were invaded by company and then they all left. Hubby went to work. Family returned home. Our infant seldom slept.

After about three months of complete isolation and lack of sleep I needed medication. Post pardom depression. My doctor also recommended a mother's group. I needed to get out and be with other mommies. I needed to stop the isolation.

Thirteen years later that mommy group spans multiple states. I still value the opinions of those women and there is little I wouldn't do for them.

During the decade I stayed home, I had my ups and I had my downs. What I came to understand is that it has to be your choice. I have friends who could not stay at home and that's okay. I have friends who still stay home and that's okay too.

I think we have to learn to respect each other enough to realize that this is a personal choice and can only be made by the person facing it.

Did you work or stay at home? Why?

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Hump Day Craft Post: a disney project sneek peek

I am working on a fun Disney project for a friend. Here are just a few things I've included. I am only about half way done...and having tons of fun!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Once Upon A Time: 7:15 a.m.

This episode was significantly better than last weeks episode. It featured hotty pants Charming/James/David.

In Storybrooke,

More mystery swirls around the stranger. I was surprised that EQ/Regina didn't know who he was. Regina convinces Emma to investigate him for just being him. I actually loved the scene between her and the stranger at the dinner.

There was some chemistry between them and when he whipped out that typewritter and announced that he finds Storybrooke inspirational my heart leap a little perhaps he is one of the Grimm brothers.

MM spends her day stalking David. She starts at 7:15 at grannie's dinner just she can watch him by his wife coffee. OUCH. Thought it interesting that she was reading a Jules Verne book. Anyone see the title?

The theme of both episode Love Bites.

MM saves a bird that needs reunited with it's flock. On her way to make sure the bird is not alone forever, she slips down a cliff and gets trapped in a storm in a romantic cabin with David...um yikes.

Snow is not interested in sleeping with him...afterall she thinks his wife might be pregnant and apparently that is where she draws the line. The bird is reunited with its flock and both David and MM decide that they have got to stay away from each other.

In an effort to avoid each other they do not go to to the dinner at 7:15 but still end up there together 45 minutes later. LOVED the kiss. Sad that EQ was watching.

In fairytale land....

Snow is alone like the bird, seperated from her love. It was nice to see Red bringing her food. Charming/James is about to wed midas daughter Abigail/Katherine. Love seeing widmore in all his evil as the king.

There is lots of talk about the evils of love.

At one point Snow visits rumple who gives her a potion guaranteed to erase her memory...to make her forget about her love, about the pain of rejection, about it all. Of course, it's made with her hair and that grosses me out a little.

Rumple as always is creepy and wonderful. He keeps a little bit of her hair as payment which is slightly bothersome.

Snow gets a letter from James saying he needs her, he wants he but he doesnt really love her...no wait that's a Meatloaf song. He begs her to risk her life to come to the castle and see him.

Surprisingly, ok not really, she is captured and locked in the dungeon with Grumpy. I love Grumpy. He's the only one talking any sense this episode. He encourages Snow to embrace her pain because it makes her who she is.

Stealthy dwarf comes to rescue them and he isn't very stealthy. Grumpy helps Snow and then Stealthy gets killed and Grumpy gets captured. snow returns the favor and saves him.

The king lets Grumpy go and orders Snow to break James' heart. If not, he will kill him.

"you would kill your own son?" asks Snow.

"He is not my son," replies the king.

Ouch..always the twin that daddy didn't want.

Snow breaks James' heart and heads to the forest where she is greated by the tallest 7 dwarves EVAH. They become her new flock...she is no longer alone.

James can not forget her. He calls off the wedding. He looks for her where he thinks she maybe and Red says she never returned. He declares that he will find her. Grumpy excitedly announces to Snow that James called off the wedding.

Her response. "who?"

She has taken the potion given to her by Rumple.

Next week: Mirror Mirror who are you loyal to?

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: I'll have a bananna hold the imabendazole, imazalil and myclobutanil

I know what your thinking. How can she post a Lessons from the Lunchlady post when her district was on winter break and she only spent two days in the cafeteria?

To you I say, you've obviously never spent two days in the cafeteria.

That place is oozing with enlightenment. Oozing I say.

Bannanas need "preserved for quality". I know...i had no idea either but apparently imabendazole, imazalil and myclobutanil help with this process. And to think, all this time I've been buying them by the bunch and hanging them on a hook.

Caterpillar delight is a delight. We are celebrating various countries throughtout this month and the next few days are dedicated to Mambia. This meal was a challenge as they eat a lot of mice and bugs. Since we're not allowed to serve that we settled for pudding with oreos, graham cracker bugs and a gummy worm.

A birthday melody. Our famous custodian had a birthday over the winter break. There is nothing quite like the sound of grades of children attempting to sing happy birthday. It's the loudest most off pitch cha cha cha rendtion you will ever long to hear.

HS wrestlers have cheerleaders. When did wrestling become a sport cheerleaders attend. Did you have wrestling cheerleaders when you were in high school?

In the middle
of the mat
roll him over
pin him flat.

Really?

Bag lunch picnic style. We had a reading reward mid year party on Friday. As part of the party the kids all got a brown bag lunch and they got to eat on the floor. A first grader said, "Are we poor? Lunch in a bag and no tables?". A kindergartener said she was going to "Call 911 because eating on the floor was ridiculous." My favorite part about the picnic? My principal repeated reminding the kids not to set their food on the floor.

What did you learn this week?
Thursday, January 19, 2012

Enjoying every minute is an unrealistic goal

As I said in a previous post my in laws are staying with me for a few days.

I get along pretty well with both of them. But like all company, after three days we start to get on each others nerves. This usually results in my FIL sighing a lot and my MIL sleeping alot and me dragging wine to my room...by the bottle.

They have been a great help with the kids and they did give me an opportunity to sneak out for a much needed hair cut. My co-worker told me I looked liked Jesus so I figured it was about time for something...but that's a post for another day.

Here's the thing that drives me nuts. My MIL (along with countless others) is always telling me to "enjoy every minute because before I know it they'll be grown"

SPARE ME.

No one enjoys every minute of every day. If they say they do, they are lying.

In the last week my kids have slammed doors, over flowed two toilets, got oil pastels on the couch, spilt milk on the dog just when I didn't think he could smell worse, dumped a bottle of hot sauce, fought with each other and shattered two glasses.

I didn't enjoy much of that.

Of course, they've also shown great compassion for each other, helped me fix the toilets, laughed with me at the milk covered dog, hugged me, shared with me their worries and their hopes, and most importantly put some of the freakin groceries away.

I enjoyed that. Especially the groceries.

Recently I read this post and I think it sums up what I'm trying to explain to my MIL.

Like me, she didn't enjoy every minute. She enjoyed being a parent and maybe now she misses being needed. That's understandable.

But telling someone knee deep in garbage covered in coffee grinds who is looking for that one piece of paper that came home from school a week ago that they should enjoy their kids while they are young isn't helpful.

And never will be.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Hump Day Craft Post: Birthday book

I am trying to get some scrappin' done.  I can spend hours in my craft room and not think of anything except what I want the next page to look like.  My son's birthday book is a couple birthdays behind.

Here is a slide show of his 6th birthday.  We had a Tom & Jerry theme.  I don't like to post pics of other people's children without their permission so the faces of the children that aren't mine have been removed.

Makes the entire thing look a little creepy...doesn't it.  LOL

Now if I can find the time to scrap year seven and eight,  I'll be caught up for a few short months.




What projects have you been working on lately?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012

It's hard to be funny when you feel like crap

(clears throat attempts to stand but realizes it isn't worth it) It's official, I am SICK. It takes a lot for me to admit that.

It started Saturday with my inability to swallow and progressed from there. Now I am convinced that my head weighs approximately 30 pounds and this extra weight is not distrubted equally.

I broke down and sought medically treatment, not just because my husband is out of the country, not just because we are on a three day winter break from school and I am considering eating my young, not just because my inlaws are living with me for the week, not just because the freakin' toilets won't stop overflowing, not just because the beagle is clearly depressed, but mostly because it was either see the doctor or remove my ear with a can opener.

The later seemed messy and I'd likely have to clean it up so I opted for the doctor.

I have medication for my ear infection/sinus infection.

I am told that I will feel significantly better in 48 hours.

Just in time to return to work.

So much for winter break.
Monday, January 16, 2012

Once Upon A Time: True North

Tonight's episode centers around the two stupidest kids ever written about and that's saying a lot...I mean I've read the Twilight series.

In Fairytale land..

Gretel and Hansel are helping their dad chop down a tree for some fireword. He gives Gretel a compass and says "a family always needs to find one another". Then he promptly gets lost.

Who should find the twins? You guessed it...the evil queen wearing one of the most fantastic hats EVAH.

After showing off with some magic and just generally rubbing everyone the wrong way, EQ tells the children she will help them find their daddy..but first they must help her.

Red flag!

I mean she just disappeared, reappeared and had the tree roots hold you down. What could she possibly need your help with?

Dumb and Dumber agree to wait until night to steal a satchel away from the blind witch. Seriously? Why do you gotta wait till night? She's blind!

EQ reminds them to eat NOTHING.

Now I ask you if a evil magic queen told you that you needed to steal a satchel for her if you ever wanted to see your father again and that as long as you didn't eat anything all would go well...would you eat a freakin' cupcake? I think not.

Guess what Hansel did?

They both get busted by the blind witch and she just can't wait to eat them. Personally, I was rooting for the witch mostly because Hansel's hat was oh-so-annoying.

The brats escape and shove the witch into her own oven. They return the satchel to the queen. Inside it...an apple. I'm surprised Hansel made it all the way to the castle without eating it.

The queen rewards them. She offers them riches beyond their imagination. Their own rooms. Their own servants. But, alas, all they want is their father. EQ is notibly annoyed and covers them in black smoke and sends them to a land far far away.

When the guards fetch dearest dad from the dugeon she asks him why his children picked him over her. "because we're family and family always finds one another.". She sends him to far far farther away land and says "have fun looking"

Meanwhile...back in Storybrooke.

Henry runs into Ava and Nicholas Zimmer aka Hansel and Gretel who promptly set him up to be arrested for shoplifting. Let's be clear--that doesnt look good when your "mom" is the mayor and your mom is the sheriff.

Turns out Ava and Nicholas are homeless and do their best to trick Emma who doesnt fall for it. Instead she takes them to Mary Margaret's appt. with her. I mean that seems like a bit of an overstep. I really hate when my house guest brings in stray cats let alone stray kids.

Emma, who continues to be delusional, is determined to locate their father. Ava says maybe this will help and gives her a compass. Um...weird.

Emma takes the compass to Gold/Rumple and he knows exactly who bought it. Michael Zimmer. Twelve years ago and he found that information in 2 minutes. Perhaps Rumple should work for the government.

Turns out he's the towns only mechanic and he's not a big fan of children. He suggests she take them to boston and seperate them. "I know nothing about being a father."

Emma feels sad so when Henry asks her about his father she tells him that he was a heroic fireman who died saving others. (she later admits to Snow that she made that up.)

The Mayor is pushing for Ava and Nicholas to go to Boston. And just when it looks like Emma is headed to Boston with those kids and her tail between her legs, she fakes an engine breakdown and calls the only Mechanic in town.

Their father.

He decides to keep em.

When Emma returns she tells Snow that she is excited that daddy had a change of heart. She wonders why it only took 20 minutes to find their dad and she can't find hers in 30 years.

She tells MM/snow that Henry thinks she is her mother. Snow jokes about her having Snow's chin.

Back outside on Sheriff patrol, Henry brings Emma a slice of pumpkin and they get a first hand view of the sexy new stranger who arrived in town on a motorcycle. Hmmmm....who could it be?

A new love interest or the big bad wolf whom ironically the Sheriff sent right to Grannie's house.

Next week Charming returns and I am sooo happy,


Friday, January 13, 2012

Lessons from the lunchlady: stop acting like a jackass...penguin

This week was five long days of pure fanfreakintastic joy. If I had a sarcasm font, that first sentence would be written in all CAPS.

Here is what I learned....

I suck at math. Wait...I actually already knew this. I had a small (OK...large) mathematical error while in charge on Friday and managed to make enough pizza to serve the entire building.

Budgets can cause depression. The nutrition and maintenance staff had a budget meeting with our adminstration. Words like grave, bleak and dismal were repeated often. I left feeling deflated.

Retirement is a four letter word. It looks like my freakin awesome boss is gonna retire. I feel sad just thinking about it. Who's gonna run the kitchen? Keep in mind that I am most likely incompetent. Reread story about pizza.

Jackass (penguin) is not a cuss word. Aparently the jackass penguin was a topic of discussion regarding one of the countries we are learning about this month. It is important to keep in mind that one can only say Jackass if you are using it with the word penguin. This is especially important to remember on the school bus.

Walkins and breakdowns. I believe that the walk-in cooler is a great place to have a screaming kicking breakdown and I am considering offering this service to staff for a nominal fee. It is just one of my many out of the box ideas that has the potential to raise A LOT of money for the district.

Return breakdowns are double the charge.

What did you learn this week?




Thursday, January 12, 2012

An open letter to the tooth fairy

Dear Toothfairy,

Let me be blunt...we are not friends. Now that this is out in the open, I feel as if I can again share with you some of your annoying qualities.

You are, by far, the most forgetful fairy I have never met. Have you heard of B12? It's supposed to help memory...oh wait...maybe it helps digestion. Either way, you should seek medical advice for your inability to ever remember to visit my children.

This isn't something new. We've been discussing this a lot and quite frankly I am tired of it.

Consider this my official grievance. I am requesting an official hearing.

Also part of the grievance...you apparently give more money to wealthy children. Really? This seems a little bassakwards. How come some kids get $20 for a tooth. If that's the going rate, I have a few molars I could probably part with.

You need to knock this off...I might start a Facebook group. Down with the toothfairy...or the toothfairy plays favorites...or Dollars for Molars.

Let's set some price guides. $5 for a first tooth or a molar; $2-3 for anything else. Lord have mercy, if it has a cavity perhaps you could leave just a buck and maybe some toothpaste.

In conclusion, set more than one alarm and stop trying to overcompensate with large quantities of money. Afterall, you have never brought more than a $5 here and it's usually at least a day late.

Sincerely,

Kisa



Tuesday, January 10, 2012

NaNoWriMo: 40 days later

It's been 40 days since NaNoWriMo and I thought it was a good time to update you all on my progress or lack their of.

Sadly, I did not reach my goal of 50,000 words in the month of December. I did flesh out about 25,000 words and since then have added a measly 5,000.

Let's face it...I write much better under deadline.

After having a few new people read my Nano Novel from last year, I have had new life breathed into me and I can no longer drowned out the voices of my new novel. They are nagging me to get their story down and I have fallen deeply in love with my protagonist.

She is such a beautiful young adult...faced with a tough life and a lot of teen drama, she shines.

My goal is to have a rough draft complete by February 15th.

I guess I need to set my own deadlines.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Once Upon a Time: Desperate Souls

After being on hiatus for the last few weeks, OUAT returned with a thought provoking episode last night featuring a little more information on the creepy Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold.

So it turns out that our fine evil villain was a cowardly father before gripped by dark forces.

In a clever touch we learn that he fled from battle and that many of his fellow soldiers were lost.  For a brief moment, when an arrogant knight requires Rumple to kiss his shoe (in front on his own child) I sort of felt bad for him.  But alas, soon the true Rumple returned and I was free to dislike him again.

After being taunted and kick by the knight, an old beggar approaches him and offers help.  The beggar tells him of the great dagger just hanging unguarded in the castle that should he steal would bring to him the power of the Dark Lord.

i don't know about you guys but this all sounds a little creepy to me.  I mean hasn't he ever heard of Beauty and the Beast.  Don't upset the beggars...man.

Wanting to...I don't know...be in charge of all things evil, Rumple decides that stealing this dagger sounds like a good idea.  His son, Bellfire, doesn't necessary agree but he's 13 and well...fire is cool.

But there's more....says the beggar.  Of course there is.  Should Rumple not only steal the dagger but then summon the Dark Lord and kill him then he, himself, will become the all powerful Lord.  Um..okay but then I guess you better guard that dagger because apparently whoever steals it is your master. 

Father and son skip off into the forest to set fire to the Duke's quarters.  Bell gets a little frightened and scampers back home.  Meanwhile, the unguarded dagger is now in Rumples hand.  All he has to do is call the Dark Lord and run him through.

Um...here's the twist.  The Dark Lord is the beggar.  Oh crap.  Can you say Set Up?  The Beggar in his dying breath says, "I know how to recognize a desperate soul."  He also blabs something about all magic having a price.

When Rumple returns home, he kills many men including the knight who humiliated him.  Bellfire is not impressed.  In fact, he is terrified of his father and likely wants nothing to do with him.  OUCH.

Meanwhile in Storybrooke.

We are all still mourning our beloved hotty pants sheriff Graham.  Apparently when you are dead for two weeks in Maine, you are replaced by the next in command.  Unless the mayor fires you.

Oh wait.  Mr. Gold/Rumple to the rescue.  He found some random loophole in the town charter that says the Mayor can't randomly pick the man in the mirror as your replacement.  There's got to be an election.

Wait...wait...wait.  So she's the evil queen, she crushes peoples hopes and dreams, she steals true love away from Snow, she manipulates Red and Granny and she breaks a man's heart with her bare palm but she doesn't know how to circumvent a town charter?  Are you serious?

Anywho...Sydney Glass (oh how I love his name) aka Mirror Mirror has to run again Emma Swan.  Long time resident against that new girl.  Should be an easy win for the mayor.

But alas, Emma starts to pull ahead when she saves the mayor from a fire.  She's the town hero and everyone loves the town hero.  Hell...people around here would vote for a dog if it pulled someone from a fire.

Turns out it was all a set up - by none other than Gold. 

Best line:  Gold to Emma "Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things.  Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more."

So trying to prove to Henry that Good can beat Evil, Emma announces at the worst debate ever televised that didn't feature Rick Santorum, that she is no hero.  That Mr. Gold is an ass and that he plays with sheep fat and likes to set fires.

Of course since she has no proof, she is arrested and Mirror Mirror wins.  Oh wait...no that didn't happen.  Everyone voted for her because they hate Mr. Gold more than they hate the mayor and anyone who tattles on Mr. Gold is a friend of theirs.

Of course there has to be a twist...and like the beggar Gold tells Emma that he knew should would denounce him and that he brilliantly planned it all because he can recognize a desperate soul.

"I want you in an office of power for when I cash in that favor you owe me."

hmm...I hope it doesn't involve stealing a dagger.  Because if it does, she should just say pass.

Next week...Hansel and Gretel.  What's not to love about a witch that eats kids.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Lessons from the lunchlady: you won an estrogen class!

This week was only four days long but it felt like 40. Here's what I learned the first week back in 2012.

New clothes. If you (or Santa) bring your children summer clothes for Christmas they will wear them even if it is 18 degrees outside. I thought I saw a second grader in a swimsuit but it was just a beaded glamour cami. OMG!

Extra gym class. When one of our first grade class won an extra gym class and it was announced over the intercome one of the maintenance guys asked me if they just won an "estrogen" class. You're laughing because they really do sound so similiar.

Jellyfish. All the wasted food comes back to the dishroom and travels down to the garbage disposal. Sometimes it gets a little backed up. At one point, I could have sworn there was a jellyfish floating in that river of half eaten proccessed food. Alas, it was frozen apple juice.

Old is in the eye of the beholder. I wished a 7 year old a happy birthday this week and asked her if she felt old. Her response. "Not really. My grandma is 52 and she is still alive!". Great. Now I feel old.

Retirement should be a four letter word. My boss keeps tossing this idea around. It feels like she is kicking me everytime she says it. Here's hoping things take a turn in a different direction.

What did you learn this week?


Thursday, January 5, 2012

The best (Blgg Posts) of 2011, part 2

Continuing with what we started here I am finishing up my favorite blog posts of 2011.

In July,


We had tons of fun at our first book club, we went boating with some great friends, and we celebrated my birthday by learning a ton of things at the lake.  I started a new blog column call Poolside Perspective, I shared with the seven things I learned from Harry Potter and we talked about all the things I (GASP) missed about school.

In August:



We went to the ALS walk and enjoyed a rainy day with some family, we spent another rainy day at Hershey and we enjoyed a visit from my sister and her family.  On the blog I shared 10 things I wish someone had told me about blogging,I wrote a tribute to a teacher I had in 7th grade, and we concluded our poolside education

In September



We suffered through a lot of rain, helped a friend dig out her basement and went to my cousin's wedding.  I blogged about my apathy towards fundraising and how a chipmunk once took a bite out of me and the tree types of parents

In October




We celebrated Little G's 8th birthday, we had a grown up day at the PA ren fair where we party like rock stars in the rain.  I wrote a eulogy to our hermit crab and an open letter to my son and share with all of you a few things you shouldn't buy at the dollar store


In November



We had Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house in North Carolina, we went to see the Muppet and I took oldest out for her first time of Black Friday shopping.  I blogged about some FAQ about me and I shared my thoughts on the Penn State scandal  On a much lighter note, we talked about the importance of checking yourself

In December




In December we celebrated Christmas for a VERY. LONG. TIME, we went to quite a few holiday concerts and we danced in the new year with some great friends.  I shared a sneak peak of a cute craft and wrote this open letter to my middle daughter.  I also wrote a tribute to the big guy...Santa Claus.


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hump Day Craft post: a thank you

Sharing with you a simple card I made to thank some coworkers for their thoughfulness.

I don't remember who makes the turtle stamp, but I just love him. The green cardstock is embossed with the dots cuttlebug folder. Ribbon is from Michaels. He was colored with copic markers.

Thanks for stopping by.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Best (Blog Posts) of 2011: Part One

Everyone else is making the list of the Best of 2011 so why can't I?  I hope you'll take some time to click back and chuckle along with me at some of my favorite post of 2011.  If you like  me, why not share me with your FaceBook buddies.  You can tell them I'm funny , sincere and a little crazy...

In January



We went snow tubing and survived, we kept the house from burning down while Daddy was in Asia for the MONTH and we spent time in North Carolina.  I blogged about finding out my son is Jewish, I shared a disturbing furniture commercial and I wrote an open letter to the worst mail carrier in the world.


In February


We celebrated Oldest G's birthday by spending the night at a local water park.  It was a lot of fun!  We also spent A LOT of hours at a Blue and White banquet and were dumped on by Mother Nature.  I asked about your inner circle, I wrote an open letter to my 12 year old, and I shared another amazing lesson in this Lessons from the Lunchlady post.

In March


We traveled to North Carolina for the Juvenile Diabetes Walk, we partied like it was 1972 and we attended our middle daughter's spring concert.  I blogged about odd things people find offensive, and I shared  my thoughts on the new car seat regulations and I found out that I'm not not smarter than a 1st grader

In April


We focused on Easter.  We colored some eggs, we had an egg hunt and we spent countless hours at a Pine Wood Derby.  I blogged about all the things I love about each of my jobs.  I wrote this about Lunch Lady Land, as well as this.  Then I wrote about all the things I like about reporting.  But my favorite post has to be about becoming intimately involved with the bus driver

In May



We took pictures with the Mother's Day tree, we went to a ciriculum fair and we played tball and a few of us lost teeth.  Some of those teeth are yet to come in...  I blogged about teacher appreciation day and I shared my fifteen minutes of fame and I wrote a disertation about the reasons why I'm not yet a doctor

In June


We all got groovy at Middle Gs birthday party, Little G became a pirate, I survived our camping trip and we went to Hershey in the rain.  I wrote a story about how an inflatable bounce house kicked my ass, I shared an open letter to my middle daughter and I shared the many reasons why I failed my parenting class

I hope at least a few of these made you chuckle, perhaps shed a tear and, of course, truly laugh out loud.  Come back Thursday for the second half.

Thanks for visiting!
Monday, January 2, 2012

Christmas by the numbers: 2011

It has become a sort of tradition around this here blog to post Christmas By the Numbers.  The post is an attempt at a non-boring holiday recap that can be laughed at by my children once they are grown.

Regular readers will recall the when we do Christmas, we DO Christmas.  Months, weeks and days worth of Christmas.  It feels like it never ends and every year I wonder the same thing..."Why do I do this?"

Just when I become convinced that my mostly ungrateful children will soon expect a present from the waitress at the All-You-Can-Eat pancake buffet...it thankfully ends.


Number of Christmas celebrations: 6

Number of times I had to remind my kids to say Thanks: 534

Number of times I won BINGO: 5

It's starts at my Aunt's house.  The gathering used to be much larger, but most of my cousins don't come anymore.  It's still a fun time.  We have a pot luck and we play cheesy holiday games for cheesy holiday prizes, which is always a hoot.

Of course, my kids end up with LOTs of random things.

I must admit, the kids are actually starting to look forward to going and I really have nothing to complain about.

This year we also attended my husband's holiday work party.  It was at a local hotel conference room and they had build-a-bear show up there.  They also had brunch and free Santa pics. 


Number of times my kids whined: 67

Number of times my kids laughed: 154

Number of times my kids fought with each other: 6,457


My mom, her husband and my grandmother came to visit, bringing gifts on the 23rd.  They spent one night at the house.  We went to family church service.  My grandma was amazed by all the "new fangled gizmos"  What was the gizmo, you ask?  A glow stick.


Number of times my mom asked if her cookie making was annoying: 8

Number of times my grandma's childhood friend made me smile: 5

Number of chairs my mom bought for us: 2

Number of chairs in the boxes: 4


Number of pictures of me with my great-grandmother: 0

Number of pictures of my kids with their great-grandparents: more than 100





Mandatory Sad-Sock-Face pictures: 5

Time my kids got up Christmas Day: 4:55 a.m.

Time they started fighting: 5:43

Time I took my first nap: 7:30


After our very early Christmas morning celebration, the next day we headed three hours west to visit with more family.  The celebrations continued! 

We had Christmas dinner at my in laws house.  We were joined by our cousins. 

It is always fun when we get together.  Loud...but fun.  After dinner and clean up (no dishwasher) we opened presents.  Little G. was tickled with his Hex Bug Hive.  He got a lot of enjoyment out of that gift.

number of dishes I washed:  0

Number of dishes I put away in the wrong spot: 8

Number of times one of the kids cried: 5

Number of Advil I needed: 6


Best part of being at my dad's for our final Christmas of the season?  Shaking up dinner.  We decided to have Japanese for supper.  Nothing like a little California roll to ring in the season.

Number of Redneck wine glasses I got: 3

Number of laughs I got from those glasses: countless

Number of times my son complained about his learning laptop: 5
(He doesn't like presents that "make him learn") LOL

Number of days I waited once we returned to take down the tree: 1

Goodbye Christmas 2011.  You were very good to us, even though you did overstay your welcome.

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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